Protection
by COWSARECOOL
Summary: Kakashi has a chance to go back and protect the ones he lost. However, while a bargain with a demon fox may sound good on the surface, there are consequences for everything...Time travel fic. KakashiXMikoto Romance
1. Act I: Prologue

Reason. Most people live without it.

They are born and they live, often stupidly, and then they die, often without reason. These are the sort that drink their life away, the sort that when they're at their lowest they realize they don't have anyone to bring them back up. Kakashi pitied these sort of people but at the same time…he often found he envied them. They didn't realize that their life meant nothing after they died until it was too late, and by then all they could do was wish they had done _something_ to leave a mark on this world. Wish that they could do it all over so that their life, and death, hadn't been meaningless. The difference between him and these people was that he had realized it much sooner; at the age of 13. He had realized a month after Obito died that the living forget the dead and are only forced to remember by the legacy they left behind, by the things they did while living. He'd lived hoping that he could make an impact on the world, that he could make everyone remember the man who had given his life to protect the people he loved. Now staring death in the face he only hoped that when he died they would remember the lives he saved instead of the ones he ended. Kakashi had always thought he was better than those who wasted away their lives partying and having fun because he was striving towards something. He was going somewhere, he was going to make sure that his life held meaning and that because of that; all those who died to save him would be remembered as well.

But…he was wrong. They weren't to be pitied, but to be envied. They got to _live _life, not run through it with a hand always close to their sword. They didn't have to live with the deaths, or even the knowledge that they could die just as easily as the ones they killed, that their life could be just as easily forgotten as the people they had just erased from history.

He remembered the fear that had driven him in his childhood; the fear of being forgotten, of just disappearing without anyone to care for him as Obito had so easily cared for everyone. But what was the use of that fear when no one was left to forget him? When he was the only one left to remember?

Everyone has that moment in their lives where they wish they could go back and change something, do something with their life, be someone else. Sometimes…Kakashi wished he could have been one of those people he'd spent half a lifetime pitying. He wished he hadn't been so blind when he'd met Obito. He wished that he'd protected Rin better. He wished that he'd been a better teacher, someone to look up to. He wished…he wished a lot of things.

Distantly he could here gravel falling, and if he weren't so numb, he would feel the stinging bite of it as it hit his face and mauled body. All he could feel was anger, anger so strong he was numb with it. But the worst of it was that he could do nothing about this anger. He wanted to punch something, kill something…but he couldn't. he was paralyzed, the whole of his left side crushed…under some stupid pile of rubble too. It was a role reversal, and he would've laughed at the irony except that he knew that Madara had probably done it this way on purpose. He only wished that the blasted rock had fallen to his right, then at least he wouldn't have to die without Obito next to him, seeing everything he was seeing in his last moments.

He could already feel his life falling away from him, he knew he was going to die. Once again he was the last remaining member of his team…

_He saw the blood , saw the bodies but felt the horror last. His stomach dropped out, his heart rose into his throat, his head pounded and he fell back away from the scene. He was too late…too late to stop him from hurting her. He had known, she had known …so why? But no, he didn't need to ask that question; he already knew the answer. That look on her face when she'd tried to kill Sasuke…he'd known right then and there she'd never be able to kill him. And so had she. He was just fooling himself to think that he could save her. If he was honest with himself; he could admit that she'd been dead for a long time, and the only one keeping her there had been Naruto. _

The lighting in that place had been horrible and cast shadows on her pallid face making it gaunt and sickly looking. Her eyes…so blank. Smiling…she had been…smiling, a tight sad smile frozen on her face in a death brought on because she'd loved too deeply. She'd died willingly…had accepted her fate as soon as she saw he'd come for her.

_He couldn't think, couldn't breath and only blinked when he heard Naruto's cry from behind him. His own dam broke only after his student fell next to her, voice cracking and arms shaking, rocking her gently. Seeing him this way, so broken…he slid down the wall, head in his hands, and shook with the weight of his heart in his chest. He would look back on this day, when it was all over, and know that this was the day both Naruto and himself had truly broken…_

Her death was the catalyst, it pushed Naruto over the edge. And Sasuke…Sasuke didn't stand a chance against his rage. Naruto's prediction that they'd both die together or not at all was made without truly knowing just how far he would be pushed. He hadn't factored in Sakura dieing; but even if he had he still wouldn't have been able to deal with it any better than he did. Kakashi was glad for this, but also regretful that he couldn't stop it before it started.

Sasuke was dead. Sakura was dead. And Naruto…Naruto might as well be dead.

He couldn't remember how long ago it had happened, but he could never forget that feeling. That sickening taste that it left in your mouth, the way it dried your throat, stung your eyes…Naruto had given up, the seal had broken and with it so did his own will to survive. He and Naruto had come to rely on each other, if only so they wouldn't have to be alone now that everyone was dead. They were both pushed forward, not by revenge, but by the need to rid the world of a man that would never stop until everything was gone. Madara Uchiha. Now that Naruto's seal was broken, two three hours ago maybe…he had no desire to outlive his loved ones again. Besides, it was a somewhat happy death knowing that Madara had been…dealt with. And even if he wished he could have been the one to do it; he knew that Naruto was the only one who could.

His fingers tingled once and then went numb, his vision was blurring around the edges but he could still see the clouds in the sky…it felt odd dying when it was so bright and cheery out. He supposed that it wasn't all that odd though; he had been on missions before where he'd had to kill someone in the middle of their own daughters birthday party. So why would he expect for the world to stop and suddenly become dark and gloomy just so he could die a little theatrically? He could hear Obito mocking him already…

_Pft…who would have thought the great Hatake Kakashi would be such a drama queen? Ha ha…_

"I suppose I'll be seeing you soon Obito…"

"Don't think your so lucky fool." Naruto?

_Ah, let me congratulate you Kakashi; you've truly gone insane now. As if hearing my voice in your head now and then wasn't enough…_

He remained calm outwardly but inwardly cursed and cringed and screamed in frustration. Why couldn't he just die happily knowing he would meet his loved ones again? What idiot thought it would be funny to force him to stay alive long enough to see his former students body desecrated and turned into the thing that Naruto had been fighting against his whole life?

He sighed. "Kyuubi."

He couldn't see it, but the Kyuubi nodded towards him in a silent acknowledgement of his role as desecrater. "Kakashi."

Kakashi felt something slip from between his lips and coughed around the words he had wanted to say, bearing with the pain until it passed into numb grayness. Kyuubi watched impatiently from beside him for a few moments until the coughing subsided and then knelt down.

"I know what you're thinking human," he said, his voice not entirely Naruto's but a merging of them both. It was highly…disturbing. "and no…I am not free."

_Wait what?_

Kakashi looked up at him lazily, covering up his surprise, "Now why would I be thinking about you when I could be thinking about what a beautiful day it is, or replaying icha icha scenes through my head? Actually, I think I'll do that second one right now…"

The Kyuubi didn't look at him; but instead kneeled down beside him. He felt nothing but numbness but it seemed as if he was drawing something on his arm. He shut his eyes, focusing on the movement of those fingers, trying to form a picture in his mind of what he was drawing. It...was that…a seal?

"I have no time for your humor human, this body won't host me for much longer without its soul."

If Kakashi could move he would have jerked away from the bloody fingers that were slowly spreading strange symbols down his arm. Was he trying to take over his body? Kakashi giggled. Wait…that doesn't make any sense; he's dying too. Wow, blood loss really makes you dizzy.

"…and that would be so horrible because?"

"Because things could be different. And different means me being alive-even if it is within this confounded host."

Kakashi blinked, confused. How could things possibly be different when the only one that had any ability left to fix things was the one that had once completely destroyed it all? He was tired of this, and he didn't exactly like the feel of having strange symbols drawn into his flesh with chakra infused blood…

"Can't you stop this and leave an old man to die in peace?" It was odd how his voice sounded so far away…

At that the Kyuubi did laugh, "_You _are not old human, _I _am old. You do not know the meaning of 'old' when you stand next to me. And it is because I am this old that I will not die suffocated in this fetid carcass like a prisoner."

"You are a prisoner, and for a good reason. A reason thats preventing me from trusting you, especially since you took over my former pupils body." Kakashi supplied.

The Kyuubi ignored him and focused on his work. The markings were becoming more and more noticeably uncomfortable-even though Kakashi still couldn't feel his body. It was an odd feeling, almost like he wasn't really feeling anything at all, but he just _knew _he was. He rolled his eyes skyward again, feeling like it was the only way to get away from whatever the Kyuubi was doing with his body. He hoped he was dead before he found out honestly.

"You do not seem as grateful as I thought you would be, human. Do you not realize what I'm offering?"

Kakashi made no effort to move or even acknowledge that he'd heard him. With the last of the markings finished he barely _could _hear him. "Wha-what did you do to me?"

"If you accept…then I'm separating your soul from your body and placing it under my control."

He was confused. So confused and…very, very tired. But the thing was; he was curious. He wanted, needed to know what all of this was about because it seemed almost as if…as if the Kyuubi was offering him a way to change things.

"Accep-accept what?" he couldn't tell if he'd even said it or not; he felt as if he were floating disconnected from everything.

"My bargain of course." a fanged grin and red eyes stared down into his own, "I save your life, and in return, you go back…and save mine."

It took a moment for Kakashi to process this, but when he did it took all he had just to get his lips to move.

"…and how will I do that? Save Naruto from Madara?" he closed his eyes, and his next words were barely a whisper, "I wasn't strong enough then and I'm not strong enough now. I'd fail before I'd even started…"

"You won't fail."

Anger rose up, and he couldn't stop himself from speaking his mind."But how do you know that! Everything could turn out the exactly the same way and all I would have gotten out of it was the torture of watching everyone die all over again…"

He heard the growl and saw the viscous snarl on the face of the once innocent Hokage hopeful and faltered in his anger. He didn't want to see Naruto like this…he wanted the little, overly energetic, ramen eating fanatic back. He didn't want to see this…thing wearing Naruto's face any longer. And even though he'd come to trust and lean on Naruto…he didn't want to see him broken any longer either.

"You _won't _fail, human. I have my ways so just shut up and decide already!" he looked thoughtfully at Kakashi and then grumbled, "oh, how I wish I could just do this myself and be rid of you entirely."

Kakashi didn't hear the words over the rushing roar in his ears, and was acutely aware of how fast his vision was blurring. He'd crashed back to earth from his high and could feel _everything. _He understood what the fox was offering him, but couldn't quite believe it. Was it a trick? Was it all a dream? A way to torment him using false hopes and wishes? He didn't know, and he didn't really care right now either. He was cold and his breathing was shallow, and right then, he just couldn't think anymore. He'd made a decision; and once Hatake Kakashi made up his mind, it took a hell of a lot to change it.

"What do I have to do?" he strangled out.

The answering grin was so Naruto like that it only further solidified Kakashi's decision. Kakashi was going to do what he'd been trying to do his entire life; he was going to change things. He was going to make sure that all those deaths would not be without meaning-in fact, he'd make sure that they never happened at all. This didn't mean that those deaths would be forgotten however, because Kakashi would never forget them or how hard they fought. If this really worked, and wasn't a hallucination or a trick, then he would make sure that he fought just as hard as they did. He wouldn't give up this time, and he wouldn't be a coward. He could still feel his fear, deep down there, but oddly enough…it didn't matter as much to him anymore. It didn't bother him that no one would know just how much he'd sacrificed for Konoha, because being forgotten was a small price to pay for protecting loved ones and getting second chances.


	2. Delicate Situations

A/N: first of all, I would like to thank all of you who reviewed me! Thank you **dragonwitch250, Prescripto13, **and **MidniteCurse4Eternity**! I look forward to your future reviews.

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><p>Hayate leaned forward against the escarpment, sighing in slight annoyance. He realized, as his knee dug into the freshly overturned earth and left over rain water soaked through his sandals, this could very well be one of the worst days he had ever had. He was a good ninja, and his recent status as Jounin proved that. So why, <em>why <em>was he here, in front of the gates, on_ guard duty_, of all things? He'd pissed somebody off, that's why, even though he had no idea who this person was.

"Must've been somebody real high up."

Hayate looked over his shoulder, already knowing who it was.

"The person you pissed off I mean." She explained. "There's no way they would give you a Chunnin's job unless you did _something _wrong. Or you got injured…but I know that's not possible, considering your…_performance _in the field." He ignored the innuendo as she drifted closer, and for a moment he thought she'd join him in the dirt, but she only eyed the escarpment with distaste.

"Yugao Uzuki...what are you doing here? Surely you're not on guard duty as well; they wouldn't torture me that much."

"Ha! That's funny coming from you; I clearly remember that you liked my form of torture." She smiled flirtatiously, "Especially last night…"

Hayate coughed heavily and thanked Kami that it was dark out; it would only encourage her advances if she saw him blush. Last night…had been a mistake, and though he felt horrible about it; he just couldn't be with her that way. Hayate sighed with resignation. It was time to stop running away from this and just man up to telling her the truth. He looked up at her and took a deep breath; they were better off as friends, especially since she was interested in starting a family someday.

"So, Uh…" He started with slight disinterest, "I don't think we should…" He trailed off as she shook her head. It took all of one sentence and she'd gone from flirtatious to exasperated. He realized her expression looked oddly sad, and he felt a strange pang in his chest at the thought that it might be because of him.

"Relax, Hayate. I know perfectly well what last night was," she smiled, but it looked strangely wrong on her face, "I was just teasing you."

"I…" He didn't know what to say to that, and an awkward silence followed. He knew he was the one who didn't want to get attached, the one who wanted to focus on work and forget all about their one night stand…so, it didn't make any sense for him to be the one that had regrets over their parting. She looked away from him, and he couldn't help noticing how her hair fell around her face, a pale violet curtain in the moonlight.

In the end, she was the one to break the silence, "Anyways, I'm just returning from a mission so I'd better hurry to the Hokage." She gave a quick smile, that seemed a lot dimmer than it usually was, and turned to leave. His breath caught for a moment at her quickly retreating back, it turned into a cough soon after, but he was still slightly breathless. He should fix this; he would have to work with her in the future, and it wouldn't do to have feelings of awkwardness get in the way. Maybe take her out for coffee? As friends, of course, nothing else.

"Wait-" he called out, and her shoulders tensed in anticipation. She'd turned, but he missed the hope in her eyes, distracted by the approaching Chakra signature. Though he had been quite focused on the matter at hand, and how he was to deal with it, being a ninja would always come first. It was for this reason that he could not just 'turn off' his senses, and was also why his talk with Yugao would have to wait. He repressed the sigh of relief at that thought, he still had to make sure the approaching Chakra signature was friendly.

He crouched back into his place near the top of the escarpment, even knowing that it would be suicide for any enemy to approach Konoha head on like this.

A figure appeared in the distance, a blur jumping from limb to limb, and he was fast approaching Hayate's hiding place. He felt Yugao kneel next to him, now also on alert. It took barely a moment before she relaxed and shuffled back to her feet with a sigh. She'd actually thought she might get a fight tonight, someone to take out her aggressions on. She was disappointed, and she knew that even if she did decide to fight the man; he could easily kill her without even blinking.

Hayate looked at her questioningly, for a moment, before he too realized who it was. As the figure came closer, moonlight reflecting off of silver hair and an alabaster wolf mask, he knew it to be none other than Hatake Kakashi. Nearly everyone in the village knew his face, or at least they knew the mask and they knew the silver hair. As for what people thought of him…it all depended on who you talked too.

Hayate focused once more on Yugao, "You knew it was him before even I did. You two have some kind of special connection I should know about?"

She looked at him oddly, then glanced back towards Kakashi briefly. He was still quite a ways away, so he must have slowed his pace now that he was approaching Konoha. "I was on the same ANBU squad as him for all of a month; he'd already been made captain by then and was doing us a favor by training us. The mans a genius; I would know his Chakra anywhere."

She saw his attempts to hide his relief and smirked, "Besides, I don't think its any of your business anyway."

Hayate coughed and looked highly uncomfortable.

"Kidding, kidding." she sighed, "Kami, you just can't take a joke can you..."

But she realized Hayate wasn't looking at her anymore. She followed his gaze, placing it on the ANBU captain who was nearing them. Besides the fact that his pace had slowed considerably, Yugao saw nothing abnormal and was confused by his focus. Or she was at first anyway. When it happened again her brows furrowed slightly in confusion. Kakashi had just stumbled, and as if an ANBU stumbling wasn't enough, he then proceeded to fall from the branch that had held him.

Hayate gasped, and for a moment he thought he'd imagined it. The short cry from behind him, however, told him Yugao had seen it as well and he immediately leapt up from the escarpment. It only took a moment for him to reach Kakashi, and by then he was barely catching him before he hit the ground. Kakashi was limp in his arms, and he knew that if he had hesitated even a moment longer he would have fallen unaware and crashed his skull into the rocky path below him. He felt Yugao appear at his side as he lay the man gently down in the middle of the path, checking his pulse and touching his forehead lightly. After going through multiple basic medical field procedures, and finding nothing, he looked to Yugao and only shook his head in confusion. He didn't have much medical experience; but his field experience had allowed him enough training to tell there was nothing wrong with the man lying in front of him. Yugao knelt next to him, going through her own procedures, and he could tell the more medic based Jounin had come to the same conclusions he had. Though a little annoyed she hadn't trusted his opinion; he could understand why she would need to confirm for herself, especially if she was a '_friend' _to Kakashi. And no, he wasn't jealous at all, he told himself, that would be highly unprofessional. Especially with Kakashi lying unconscious in front of him.

Leaning back, she met eyes with Hayate and they shared a moment of mutual decision. "We should bring him back to Konoha; he probably wouldn't want anyone to know that the youngest ANBU captain in history had passed out from what's most likely sheer exhaustion. Especially since that retired asshole of a paper pusher has been on his back constantly ever since his promotion…" She scowled and grumbled, "Probably what pushed him to the brink of exhaustion in the first place."

Hayate glanced lazily at her with barely concealed interest and an even worse concealed cough, "I think I heard of him…Hinunaro Kamata right? Wasn't he the previous ANBU captain of Kakashi's squad?"

Yugao nodded as she helped move Kakashi onto his back, "Yeah, _previous _being the main word there. Now he's just an bitter old man who retired but can't get over the fact that he's not good enough to be a ninja anymore. It took him a long time to get to where he was in the ANBU ranks, and then along comes Kakashi and takes the position from him at 16..."

"He has a problem with Kakashi?" she nodded, and surprise briefly flitted over his face, "I always hear good things about him from his colleagues and his superiors."

"Kakashi's a great captain, and while his success in missions did gain the respect of the ANBU beneath him, as well as those above him, it only seemed to further anger Kamato."

Hayate sighed in understanding, beginning to understand by Kakashi was passed out on his back. He wasn't sure he could do all that at such a young age and be able to deal with it, "Well…what's the worst he could do, he's old and retired and not even in politics, just an old dog that no one has any use for anymore."

She didn't respond for a moment, but when she did they were hardly above a whisper. "He may not have any say in Hokage business, but unless specifically ordered by the Hokage, he does have control over which missions go to which ANBU…He's given all the hardest solo missions to him, never allowing him breaks longer than a nights rest and, from all the stories I've heard, its obvious Kakashi gave no room for complaint. In fact, some are even saying the old ANBU never _actually _retired. They say that Kakashi turned him in for smuggling money into Konoha that they'd been sent to destroy, and that he'd been demoted because of it…" Yugao looked increasingly vindictive as she went on, and Hayate became slightly suspicious as to how she knew all this. Especially considering he had never heard any of these rumors. His thoughts brought him images of Kakashi and Yugao sitting close and whispering in each other's ear, giggling over secrets they only told each other. He squashed them before they could go any further. He hurried his pace, the gates in sight now.

_Besides, _he reasoned with himself, _its not like I've ever seen Kakashi smile, not to mention __giggle._

The guards set closer to the village quickly sighted him and appeared from the trees and surrounding area. One of them, who he knew to be a level Medic nin, rushed up to him. However it was Yugao, not Hayate that the medic chose to answer his questions.

A heavy sigh of relief escaped from him and, realizing that he was no longer needed, Hayate turned and headed back to his post. He listened to their voices becoming more and more distant as he went, and wondered why he was so eager to get back to something that, just minutes ago, he'd despised. He decided that he didn't want to see Yugao's worried face anymore as she stared down at Kakashi, and he also decided that he didn't want to think about why that would bother him. Unfortunately for him, when you're guarding Konohas' gates, there wasn't much else to do _but_ think.

O.O.O.O.O.O

When he was young, even with his mask, Kakashi could never stop his emotions from showing clear in his face. It was for this reason that Kakashi had spent a great deal of his life in meditation, pulling on his emotional mask as well as his physical one. Without a father, he'd turned to books for his answers, and eventually his sensei. He learned the basic techniques on how to begin, and when he finally successfully breached the mental wall, he was surprised at what he'd found there. He'd forced himself out of meditation so hard that he'd fallen backwards off his bed.

He remembered his sensei telling his hysterical ten year old self that, _'Peoples minds often display places or meaning, places that have great significance or an extreme emotional tie. Depending on your emotions before entering your mind, these places can change…there might even be a…glimmer, of a person that you're thinking about. Or maybe just someone you don't want to forget…' _He had been more calm the next time he showed up in his minds version of his family home, and he prided himself over the fact that he didn't freak out over the fading glimmer of his father making breakfast in the kitchen. He became almost addicted to it, and he would have spent hours exploring old memories if he could. However, the images were soundless and fleeting, going with the tide of his thoughts and never holding the significance they had in real life. He tried pinpointing memories in his mind, focusing until he was sure he could see the image on the back of his eyelids, but even that would not bring his fathers voice or the taste of his scrambled eggs back. They stayed as wraiths in his mind, only there to bother him and distract him from gaining the piece of mind he sought. He found that he didn't want to see these faded, soundless images so unlike the real thing. So he pushed them away.

It didn't take long for this to take effect, and soon his memories drifted from his young mind, leaving only flickering images and memories he couldn't always understand or see with great clarity. They became twisted by his thoughts and his fears, turning them into something different. He found that while in his mind every one of his thoughts, even subconscious ones, affected the world around him and his memories. The memories never interacted with him and he eventually felt that the more he pushed those foggy beings away the more focused he became when he reentered the outside world. So he pushed all those thoughts out of his head and with them went those unwanted reminders of the past, he succeeded in separating his mind, one side where he pushed emotions and memories too and the other a mask where he could run and hide behind. After that, all that was left was to build up a wall; and though it took years, it benefited him greatly later on. It was what allowed him to be a ninja and, though he may have had to go to some greater lengths than others, he was glad for the struggle. Without it, he wouldn't have been able to keep fighting after Obito died.

Obito. His wall had never seen him coming. His death had taken a brick out of him, quickly and without him even noticing. He was different than his father and his mother; he didn't disappear from his mindscape. No matter what he did, he couldn't find it within himself to push Obito away far enough to keep him from coming back; probably because he felt his memory was the only thing keeping him sane. It was almost like Jenga; once you take one out, the next one determines if the whole thing topples over…

Now, though he remembered times when he hadn't, he was grateful for the fact that Obito had always been present somewhere during his meditations. If not for this fact, Kakashi would be very confused right now. Usually, when he meditated, he was in a place of meaning. Sometimes he would be standing next to the monument, sometimes in his family home, or even sometimes he'd show up in his teams training area…but where he stood was none of these things. He recognized the odd feeling of walking with his thoughts, of your body not reacting to anything but emotions, and he recognized the familiar flickering presence of Obito beside him. He welcomed these familiar feelings in an otherwise unfamiliar territory and surveyed the large expansive clearing he was in. He searched hard for something familiar, traveling a ways even knowing that he would end up where he began if he ventured too far, but found nothing. He was amazed by the sheer magnitude of the place his mind had set him and wondered as to how he could remember this place with such detail and yet not remember it at all. The ground was rubble beneath him, dead trees littering the floor and creating pathways through massive boulders the size of the Hokage monument. Moss grew along the sides of buildings with only one wall and half a roof. It was as if something had smashed through a city, toppling everything in on each other until only a sea of garbage was left.

His feet stopped him, and he found himself overlooking the entirety of the ruins he had found himself in. He had found himself drawn here, which was usually while meditating, as the mind will always be drawn to the center of the emotional energy that kept it afloat. Why this specific cliff was were the energy was most concentrated was beyond him; he still couldn't recognize this place. He looked around for anything of importance, a clue as to why he was here…but he found nothing but a few floating bookshelves full of something called 'Icha Icha Paradise.' He wouldn't have even known it was even his mind if not for the constant that was Obito. He didn't realize that in just a moment, he'd find something that was just a little _too_ familiar.

A chuckle came from behind him, startling him out of his thoughts. Not only was he shocked at the sheer fact that he could hear anything at all, but also at the fact that there was something in his was making the noise. He turned, not entirely knowing what to expect, but chancing it anyways.

"I've seen you as a child, and I've seen you as an adult," The…thing mused, "but I've never seen you as a teenager. I was moved into that little brat, and he didn't see you again until you became his sensei. I suppose you could say that seeing you like this fills a gap in a story. It's…enlightening."

Kakashi took a step back at the sight of the creature that had haunted the dreams of every person in Konoha that had not been born within the last 4 years. Granted it was smaller, and obviously only a image his mind had conjured up, but that didn't stop Kakashi from becoming instinctively defensive. He was confused though and, having no control over his emotions while in his mind, it showed clearly on his face. The Kyuubi laughed, and Kakashi thought he'd be sick to his stomach. Why was his mind showing him these things? In fact, how did he even get here? Last he knew he was on his way back from his longest mission yet, eager to get back to Konoha after being away for five months…

"Confused?" He focused once more on the creature, scowling as he tried to reign in his emotions and push the offending anomaly that was the talking fox out of his mind. "I think I like you this way Kakashi, hanging on my every word…"

He stared him down, pushing and tugging, trying to force its image to become a brick in the wall. The image didn't even waver, and he was left drained from the exertion, not physically but mentally. He'd done it with so many others that it'd become almost second nature, so why wasn't it working? Rin, his mother, his father, Minato-sensei, and so many others…the memories of them had been easy to push out of his mind, had been easy to lock away and ignore until he decided he could deal with it. What was so different about this thing? Why wasn't it leaving him alone, especially when it's connection to him wasn't nearly as strong as the others? Sure he hated and feared this thing more than anything in the world, but he hated and feared a lot of things. So far, his mind had only come up with people, memories of them anyways, that he'd loved or didn't wish to forget. The inner workings of the mind confused him, and he wished for a moment that Obito wasn't here, so he could fool himself in to believing that this was all just some elaborate dream. At least that way he wouldn't have to deal with the fact that he may be going insane, if the destruction around him was any indication of what being insane looked like.

The demon took a step forward towards him, and he took a step back. He eyed the cliff warily, even knowing one couldn't die while in their mind at their own free will…the thought that he couldn't remember how he got here, however, was beginning to make him worry. Perhaps he had run into a ninja that had some sort of mind Jutsu, like the Yamanaka's?

Finally, he could go no further without falling over the edge, and he was forced nose to nose with the demon. He thought it odd how the image in front of him was so different from the others. He could feel wet breath on his face, see the shining fur strand-for-strand in perfect detail, hear the deep growling laugh in its throat…it was like that night all over again.

"_Kakashi! Kakashi stay back!" he ignored his academy sensei's calls, focusing on the flow of chakra to his arm. The people began to instinctively clear a path for him as the sound of chirping birds filled the air. Blood flowed down his face, his Jounin uniform torn beyond recognition. The smell of sulfur and smoke filled the air, and he could hear the cries of woman and men alike as civilians mixed with ninjas on the battlefield. He felt someone grab him, but he shook them off, a loud battle cry sounding in his ears as he stared up at the great menace ahead of him. Rubble flew up behind him as he flew across the battle ground, his Chidori newly perfected with his Sharingan. But it barely made a scratch on the humongous creature, and instead only served to force those red furious eyes over to him, freezing him in place with fear. He felt the academy teacher, who had only known him for a year until he turned six and graduated, push him out the way. It broke him out of his haze of fear, leaving his staring down at a dead man he had barely knew._

The fox's voice broke him out of his revere, and he found the beast staring curiously at him. He had the odd feeling he wasn't really looking at him physically though.

"You were so naïve back then, Kakashi…but seeing both of your minds so open right next to each other; I can see the resemblance. You both are stupid, repressed idiots who never want to deal with any of your problems; so you just push the pain to the side and build a wall around it." he smirked over his shoulder, and he got the distinct feeling he wasn't talking to him; even if he had addressed his name directly. "In fact, he just tried it on me."

His eyes widened. What was going on here? How could a glimmer, a memory, be consciously aware of Kakashi trying to push it away? It was just a memory, it shouldn't be able to make its own thoughts! He tried again, which caused the Kyuubi to laugh maniacally, and fall back on its hind quarters.

"He just tried it again," the fox took wheezing breaths, and Kakashi prayed that it wouldn't laugh again. The laughter had been disturbingly unnatural and two toned. Almost like a combination of a fox yipping with a deep undertone of thick _human_ laughter. It was unnatural to combine those two things, and it forced Kakashi to shiver in distaste at how abnormal this whole thing was.

"I don't understand…I can't force you out. And you're…talking." he looked oddly at it, watching to see if it would really react to his words or if it truly was just a memory.

"yes, I can talk. Surprised I'm intelligent enough? Did you think I was just some mindless killing machine all the time?" It spoke, and he realized that its mouth hung open, panting, but made no other motions in order to speak other than to open and close. It was almost as if it was speaking with its mind alone, not its vocal chords. "That would be boring. Besides, if I wasn't intelligent I wouldn't have lasted this long."

"You…you are not a glimmer."

"Definitely not."

"Then how-" Kakashi shook his head, and waved it off, then looked towards him with determination. "Get out of my head."

"Sorry, no can do."

"Why! What do you want from me?" He was getting seriously annoyed with this, couldn't this have waited until after he'd gotten home? "Why am I here? _How _am I here?"

The Kyuubi didn't answer. He looked over his shoulder, and with one sweep of his tails, he turned and walked to the side. A figure appeared next to him, and he suddenly realized that a heavy mist had settled over the area. Weather? In his mind? This day just couldn't get any weirder…

"Perhaps I could answer that question?" Holy shit, spoke too soon.

The man staring back at him smiled familiarly, _too_ familiarly. In fact it was identical to-to himself! He was staring at himself, older, but himself. He felt like a million little pieces were falling into place. He shook his head and laughed, now finally understanding the strangeness he'd been feeling since he'd appeared in this place. He looked towards Obito's shadow, who was smiling at him and flickering in and out existence silently. Even years into the future, and he still couldn't let go of him, couldn't push his memory away. He realized that Obito wasn't here for him, he was in this mind because he was equally important to the individual in front of him. His mind nearly blew up at the thought of what was going on, of where he really was.

He realized that he wasn't in his own mind, like he'd first thought. He was in someone else's, someone that happened to look a hell of a lot like himself, only older and more pained.

"This-this is _not_ right." he stuttered.

The Kyuubi eyed him cautiously, "Careful, if he starts freaking out, he could upset the balance of this place and kill all of us."

"I know," the…older him said calmly, "look at what's already happening just from both of us being in such close proximity." He gestured towards the fog, "…my mind won't stay stable for long under such intense outside emotions. I'll subconsciously kick him out which will make me either dead or…lost someplace. I don't know, I've only ever read one or two books on mind merging."

He found it odd that he shared memories with the person in front of him, that he could actually remember reading those books as well. It was why he also knew that if the other pushed his mind out, he wouldn't be able to find his way back; that seemed to be solely reserved for the Yamanaka clan.

"Will you stop talking as if I'm not here and tell me what the fuck is going on?"

The older of the two tilted his head, a bemused expression on his face, "I'd forgotten how loud and…angry I was. It's oddly heartwarming to look back and realize that I had at least one thing in common with normal teenagers…"

The Kyuubi looked briefly at him and rolled his eyes at the pensive look on his face, then grew serious, "Alright, stop teasing his Kakashi, he looks like he's about to blow up."

The younger Kakashi clenched his teeth to keep from proving the elder's accusations of him correct. He was known to be a calm, serious person. He was a leader, an ANBU captain, the only reason he couldn't control himself now was because…well who wouldn't be a little freaked out it you found yourself in the mind of your future self? Honestly he thought he was taking his pretty well…

The Kyuubi turned his red eyes towards his companion then back towards the younger one in front of him. "Perhaps I should tell him, you seem to bring about the stronger emotional reactions from him. This is a delicate situation in the first place, and upsetting him more than necessary would not be to our benefit."

Kakashi nodded beside him, his one eye still focused on the younger version of himself.

Kyuubi nodded to the area behind him, "Take a look around brat, any of this seem familiar to you?"

He shook his head, not even bothering to turn around and look.

"It just looks like a bunch of rubble. Some ruins maybe?" He wondered for a moment why this place was so important to his future self, and became suddenly interested.

Before the Kyuubi could answer, however, Kakashi's solemn voice answered it for him.

"It's Konoha."

And if that didn't blow this whole 'delicate situation' to shit, he didn't know what would.

* * *

><p>AN: yay! That one was a little bit longer, about 10 pages! I'm really excited for this story, I have a lot of ideas. Oh! and don't worry, i've got most of it all planed out for about the next 10 chapters; I just have to flesh it out. Next chapter is already started!

Preview: _The medics stared down at the writhing man in horror and confusion. Just moments ago they had checked him and found nothing wrong, and now... "It's amazing..." The head medics voice shook as he spoke, "Almost as if all his Chakra lines are being burned and rebuilt..."_

_The medics ignored him and continued to stare helplessly at the man, watching with an odd fascination as two very distinct Chakras mixed together. They all felt an familiar tingle at the base of their spines at the sight of red malevolent Chakra, but it was gone before they could confirm anything; mixing with its hosts Chakra until you couldn't tell them apart anymore._


	3. A Dash of Red Chakra

A/N: Hi! so I know it took long and all...but, I have a good excuse really! see...there was an...old lady. And this old lady...got stuck in a tree. And it literally took me a few months to get her down before I got the time to edit this...

Yeah...I know, right? Old ladies these days...

Anyways, I know that I gave you people a 'preview' and I fully intended for that preview to be in this chapter but...well I reread it and...It was crap. Like, really bad. I didn't like it...It went _way_ too fast and didn't have rising action or mystery, so I added a whole lot more crap to it and Guess what! now you get two chapters for it...Oh well, you'll just have to wait one or two weeks for the next chap to come out in order to read that preview...

But anyway, even right now i'm not so thrilled with this chapter. I like everything about it except the Kakashi/Kyuubi/Past-kun part/dialogue so...yeah i know that's practically the whole chapter but it the truth.

Thank you to all my wonderfull reviewers so far! I loved all of them, and they're all I need to cheer myself on and get my but movin to the computer(MidniteCurse4Eternity, dragonwitch250, Prescripto13, Shadoblayze, and Sanz0girl)

I hope you'll stay with me in the long run, cus I have much planned! *evil laughter*

LAST TIME! LAST TIME!

_Kyuubi nodded to the area behind him, "Take a look around brat, any of this seem familiar to you?"_

_He shook his head, not even bothering to turn around and look._

_"It just looks like a bunch of rubble. Some ruins maybe?" He wondered for a moment why this place was so important to his future self, and became suddenly interested._

_Before the Kyuubi could answer, however, Kakashi's solemn voice answered it for him._

_"It's Konoha."_

_And if that didn't blow this whole 'delicate situation' to shit, he didn't know what would._

* * *

><p>Kakashi had never liked getting hit in the face, and even in death, or mind, or whatever…he still really, really didn't like it. It just made him pissed.<p>

"You're_ lying!_"

"Oh, great, now you've done it Kakashi." Kyuubi snarled as he watched the severely pissed off teenager become even more unstable than before, "I _told _you to let _me_ handle it!"

Kakashi got up gingerly, touching his face even while knowing he wouldn't feel it; one of the few upsides to being seperated from your own body. It hadn't hurt, but…it was just the thought of someone being able to get a hit in to his face that bothered him. Even if technically it _was_ himself that hit…himself.

"…wouldn't you have just said the same thing?" He sighed, turning away from the pacing youth in front of them. Just seeing himself so easily riled was bringing back bad memories. He flinched as he realized that in most of those memories he had lost control...and losing control was not something that he wanted if he wanted to leave with his mind _intact_.

'_I need to settle this quickly…'_

"Well, yeah but…I would have put it more gently."

"…"

Kyuubi snarled at the oddly freaked out look Kakashi gave him. "what!"

"…those are just…not words I ever expected from you is all."

He snorted, "eh, well…get used to it kid, I'm gonna be in your head for a while." He made a point to ignore Kakashi's quick, startled look towards him. "Anyway, now that you have royally freaked him out and got him severly pissed at us...I think that i'll just leave him to you. Though, I really would hurry up, he seems to get more and more agitated the more he's around you. And lemme tell you, it's really not doing wonders for this cozy little place you've got set up in your mind-look! The sky just turned purple, Kakashi!_ Purple_!"

Kakashi sighed in annoyance, "yes, well, _maybe_ if you would tell me how to get him to relinquish control of his body to me; then _maybe_ we could get out of this place and see a _blue_ sky instead of a purple one." It was times like these where he _really_ wished he had his icha icha book to hide his emotions behind. He supposed it was pretty weird that the only thing that really calmed his nerves was reading porn...

The fox snorted at him like he was an idiot, "Obviously, I can't do that. It wouldn't be as much fun if I couldn't watch you fumble around like an idiot trying to figure it out, now would it? Besides, the answer is quite simple really, you're just too dense to notice that the answer is right in front of you."

"Simple. Riiigght." Kakashi drawled. "If it really was _simple_ then I would have been able to just go up to him and say; 'Hey there, I'm _you_...from the future. See, Konoha kinda got destroyed and everyone died..Oh, but don't worry, I'm here to change that!"

His eye slowly formed an upside down U as he claped his hands together,"So...mind giving me your body and poofing out of existance for awhile? I promise it wont be for long! Just, you know...forever."

He sighed, letting his hands drop. "Kami, that sounds like something Naruto would do.._._"

Kyuubi's only answer was to chuckle.

Kakashi wasn't so sure if that was a good thing or not, its not like he _wanted_ the Kyuubi to find him funny...(who would want to share a sense of humor with a mass murdering fuzz ball who's idea of a good time was going around destroying villages all Godzilla style?)

Ignorant to the rambling arguments of the insane fox and his future self standing mere feet from him, the ANBU captain kept right on muttering about really strong genjutsu's and ambushes. A master at masking emotions, Kakashi inwardly rolled his eyes at both of them-honestly what kind of enemy ninja comes up with a genjutsu like this? He could just imagine the planning for that; 'hey, I know! What if we put an old scarecrow, a talking fox, and a young scarecrow all together in the ruins of konoha? That'll get some information!'

Kakashi sighed as he watched his past-self stop pacing, forming his hands into a well-known seal, "Kai! KAI!"

A growling sigh sounded from behind him, "Alright, this is getting pathetic. It was sort of funny at first to watch you pace around like an idiot, but give it up already—it's not an illusion obviously…"

His past self, who he decided to start calling Past-kun to avoid confusion, glared kunai's at the fur ball, "I can't believe I actually believed you there for a moment. This must be some kind of high level genjutsu for me to not be able to get out of it naturally. There has to be another way…"

"Oh for the love of all that's unholy—there is no other way! You wanna know why? Because it's not a genjutsu, and you really are in someone else's mind!" Kyuubi shook himself and leaned back on his forelegs, "Honestly, I thought you would be smarter than this Kakashi…"

Kakashi ignored him, humming thoughtfully as he watched his past-self pace in front of the backdrop of a ruined Konoha. His humming stopped abruptly as he watched the light, previously playing accross the cliff side, fade into darkness. Day had just turned to night..._in his mind. _

Younger Kakashi looked up from his continued pacing, identical eyes meeting. Past-kun took a moment to reel in his uneasiness at what he saw there, but seemed to regain some semblance of control. No more pacing, no more freaking out...letting his emotions get the better of him would only worsen the situation. Seeing the calm composed face of himself, only older, made him realize what a fool he was being...It was time to slip on the ANBU mask on and deal with this before it got out of hand. Because there was no way he was going to beleive this crap about his future self coming back, pulling him into his own mind, and then telling him that Konoha was eventually going to be destroyed...

Honestly, who _would_ believe something as stupid as that?

...He tried not to remind himself that just moments ago, he _had_ believed it.

Great, now he was calling himself stupid-he needed to get out of here; this place was driving him insane! They were obviously messing with his mind; trying to trick him into believing that Konoha would be destroyed for some reason..._why would they tell me that? _

He glanced over at the glimmer of Obito in the corner suspisciously, but pushed his wavering thoughts aside. He wouldn't believe it, he _couldn't_.

Past-kun glared into his 'future-selfs' eyes with a new found determination, barely noticing that day had turned to night in the supposed genjutsu. Finally, realizing he would need to know the area if he was to fight out of it, he looked away first; getting used to the changes in his surroundings with the suddon onslaught of night. Although natural moonlight illuminated the area, it was unnaturally bright, and made what should have been a black sky almost blue, and starless. The ground suddenly looked foreign to him with the blue grey hue that seemed to have been cast by the moon, making even the Kyuubi look oddly colorfull from where he lounged lazily.

While he took in the new darker arena he noticed that Kakashi, unlike him, had not once looked away from him. It was almost as it he didn't need to look in order to know the area. A small part of him tried to convince himself that it was because it was _his mind,_ so of course he wouldn't need to look in order to know his surroundings. He pushed it aside with a shake of his head, in favor of assuming that he was just an illusion and therefore didn't have logic enough to look.

The illusion of his older self blinked slowly at him and cocked his head to the side in thought, before saying, "Actually...what Kyubi sait isn't true, there is a way out of here…"

His eyes narrowed suspiciously, "…Really. And I suppose that would be information on Konohas weaknesses?"

Kakashi put on a mock shocked look, before giving him an eye smile and flapping his hand as if it would wave his question away, "eeeeeh? No, no, nothing like that Past-kun, why would I ever want something like that…"

"...uhm, because you're an enemy ninja who's ambushed me and-"

"Ugh, there he goes again, pushing logic to the back of his mind and going for the easier answer." Kyuubi snarled and let his tails sweep the cliffs surface in agitation. The resulting dust cloud was enough to have both young and old Kakashi's blind for a moment.

"I'm not going for the easier answer! It's the truth, obiously. This whole thing doesn't make sense; your explanation doesn't make sense! If this was really a mind then-"

"Then what?" Kakashi said sweetly, eye smiling in that eerily familiar way. He finally understood why people often said that seeing him smile like that sometimes set them on edge.

"Then all of your worst nightmares would be true? Then Konoha would be in ruins? That everyone, even yourself, died? You just don't want to admit it to yourself; admit what you already know to be the _real_ truth. It's just as Kyuubi said; you're just pushing it all in a corner and not dealing with it."

He smiled bitterly now, "I would know...I also do it."

Past-kun stoped himself from reeling back, inwardly startled at the frighteningly accurate insight into his mind, but determined not to show it. He glanced back over to Obito, brows furrowed, but continued to shake his head in denile. "you're...lying. I...I won't let you get into my head!"

Both the Kyuubi and Kakashi's eyes narrowed, noticing the breif crack in his mask. Kakashi kept his eyes focused on him, ready to plunge his knife into that crack and split the melon wide open. "If I'm lying...then why is Obito here?"

Past paled, falling back a step. "It..it must be some kind of mind twisting genjutsu-"

"Then why not expell it?"

"I-I told you, it must be too powerful-"

"Excuses, excuses Past-kun." Kakashi walked closer, "Look at this place. Look at the detail, the textures to everything...why would they do this? What could they possibly gain from telling you that Konoha would eventually be destroyed? Why would they ask for your help to save it?"

Past blinked slowly and began to back up, "I-I don't-"

"Why would they create this elaborate place, and put us in it if they weren't going to ask for information?" Kakashi slowly looked around before bending down and picking up a rock from the ground. "Who could possibly have enough chakra to put this much _detail_ into a simple rock?"

He dropped the rock into Past's hand, after grabbing it. Closing numb fingers around it to prove his point, allowing for him to feel the dips, curves and hard edges of the rock. "Face it. You know that no one could or would gain anything from creating something like this."

Curious eyes looked up into his, outstretched hand still in his grasp and rock still clutched in his calloused fingers. "Alright...a genjutsu couldn't do this." he finally admitted, "-but neither could a mind. Not even a memory could hold this much detail."

Kakashi stepped back in acceptance of his statement, and allowed the Kyuubi to budge in and explain. "You're right, of course. However...this isn't _just _a memory. Its also a physical manifestation of the last place Kakashi was."

Kakashi looked over at the giant red beast with slight curiousity, "You never did tell me exactly how this physical manifestation happened to get into _my _mind..."

"Well, its complicated really..."Kyuubi sighed as he looked at both of the identical faces staring at him...waiting. "Oh, fine!-Naruto dies, I take over, I go see you, we talk blah-blah-blah, Long story short; you agree to come back in time, I smirk and activate the Jutsu, chakra goes boom and takes a mental picture of everything it see's, it imprints itself on your mind and melds with your memories...basically."

"Ah...I see" He really didn't, but...oh well.

His younger self seemed to think this over for a while, just staring at things in thought, and Kakashi let him have all the time he wanted. As long as it got him to stop freaking out and causing his mind to go all purple and changing day to night...he would give him as much time as he wanted. Its not like he had anywhere to go.

Finally, Past-kun looked up at him and the Kyuubi, looking calmer but significantly more cautious. Things were always more complicated when they people you're facing aren't necessarilly your enemies; it left more room for betrayal and ambushes. So the more cautious the better. He sighed wearily.

"Fine then...I _believe_ you." he said that with too much of a sour face for Kakashi to be convinced. "so...what then, do I have to do to _get out of here_?"

Kakashi blinked and thought. How was he going to explain this to him without him freaking out? _Hm, well, Kyuubi did say it was a lot simpler than I was making it out to be... _He shrugged, _might as well just go for it and hope for the best, I guess_

With that thought, Kakashi eye smiled cheerily, "Hm, not much...all _you_ have to do, is give up your body…to _me_!"

…aaaaand once again dodging a fist to his face.

He sighed, "You really must stop doing that Past-kun, I might actually start to get angry."

"Good, maybe then you'll lose your control and I'll get out of here!" He growled.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes as he dodged another punch, followed by a sweep of his legs.

"Hmmm, no, I don't think that's going to happen." He grabbed the incoming foot before it hit his face. One quick turn, a well-placed leg, and Kakashi had him pinned beneath him. "Though it is nice to see you finally got ahold of your emotions. Safer for _my_ mind if _your_ mind is stable, hmm?"

"Uh, yeah, except now he's attacking us." Kyuubi commented lightly.

He shrugged, "eh, you win some you lose so—oof! " The force of the blow had him on his ass, and away from the recently awakened ANBU side of Past-kun. He backed away; rubbing his jaw to ward of the pain left by his younger self's elbow. He unconsciously moved to rub his elbow as well, even though he was pretty sure he hadn't hit it.

_Ugh, ok, that hurt…wait…_

Somewhere, in the fog of Kakashi's mind scape, a giant light bulb just came on and blew all that fog away with its amazingness. He looked down at his elbow.

_That…hurt._

The sound of a blade being drawn brought him back from staring at his giant light bulb, and he refocused on the bored Kyuubi about to be run through. He suddenly felt as if he wasn't stumbling through the dark anymore. He had an _idea_. Not a great one, but it definitely counted considering he'd pretty much been winging it since he got here.

* * *

><p>Yugao stopped in front of the gates, relieved to see a medic ninja coming her way. He gave her an odd look when he realized just <em>who<em> it was that was in her arms. She ignored it as she set him down on the ground, looking at him expectantly when he continued to do nothing.

"...uh"

She rolled her eyes skyward, realizing he was probably new to being anywhere near an actual body on the feild; of _course_ she would get a Newb. Thats just how her life is lately...continuely fucking with her. First she'd messed up her mission, (and it wasn't even a high ranking mission either; which made it an even worst blow to her pride, even if it did mean that she would get off relatively easy this time around) then she'd run into Hayate-and had to face what she knew had been coming since he first kissed her the night before-and now _this._ This stupid ANBU captain who'd worked himself into the ground and subsequently made her take care of him, (because stupid Hayate had run off as soon as he realized he could get away with forcing the responsibility all on her...why did she like him again?) and this stupid medic ninja with his stupid blank look and his stupid-_Agh! I swear, I should have never gotten up this morning..._

"The STRETCHER you idiot! _Get_ the _stretcher!"_ she finally managed to force out.

"OH! uh...right. Stretcher...stretcher..." She sighed and gripped the bridge of her nose, as he fumbled with it on the ground, until it was beside Kakashi. She knelt down by the foot of the stretcher, grabbing hold of Kakashi's feet and waiting until the medic got it together and grabbed his shoulders. Kami, just how new was this kid? He was just passed out, not bleeding to death...

"Wha-what happened?"

She shrugged, "Don't know, really. I was coming back from a mission when me and the guard stationed in the outer ring saw him collapse."

He nodded and seemed to become more confident as he began looking for injuries. If he noticed her skillfull dodging of mentioning Hayate's name, he didn't show it.

"I already did a quick check up on him..." She said quickly, trying to ignore the small pang in her chest at the thought of Hayate. "There was nothing wrong that I could see, so...I don't know, I just assumed that he collapsed from exhaustion."

The medic nodded slowly, "I think so too. There is no internal or external injuries, from what I could see, and his chakra levels are much too high for him to have passed out from chakra depletion..." He paused slightly near his head, and Yugao leaned forward in curiousity.

"What is it?"

His face scrunched in confusion, "I don't know, something just feels...off, suddenly."

She looked at him with apprehension, and said slowly, "Off how?"

He didn't answer at first, only watched sightlessly on and continued to feel his chakra. "His Chakra keeps fluctuating. It's almost as if his chakra has split itself into two seperate sets of all three chakras; normal, spiritual and physical. They keep avoiding each other, the flow of it is unnatural, almost like his chakra is...fighting against itself."

Yugao blinked in surprise, so the kid did have uses after all. "You can sense all of that?"

He looked up at her with a brief modest grin. The only reason he was a medic ninja, actually, was because of his heightened ability to sense all three types of chakra within other people.

Kakashi lurched suddenly, interuping their breif conversation. Yugao looked towards the startled medic ninja for an answer, but a groan from the unconsious ANBU stoped whatever he was going to say.

"What was that, is he alright?" she asked, only slightly worried. She had only known him for a few months, but those months were enought to convince her that this man would never give up without a fight. Dying like this-quietly and in his sleep-was not his destiny. She knew without a doubt that he'd go down in battle, probably dramatically, and get his name carved into the memorial stone he so loved to visit. Of course, the only reason why she even knew that was because he had made them late for multiple mission briefings by going there. She knew he probably went there to honor someone he knew but...did he have to go there _every _morning?

"He's fine physically...and it almost seems as if one side of his chakra is winning...they're melding together I think. Honestly, this is truely the oddest thing I've ever-" Yugao's eyes widened as the previously enthralled medic ninja jumped away from Kakashi, eyes wide with fear. His expression almost comical with how wide his eyes were.

Seeing him continue to stare at the man on the ground in front of them, unmoving, Yugao got up uncertainly. Kneeling beside him, Yugao placed a calming hand on his shoulder in slight amusement and curiousity, patting it awkwardly while he gasped and stuttered his way through a mixture of horror and confusement. It took only a moment to realize his hands had stoped shaking, before she leaned down and inspected both the traumitized medic and an unconsious Kakashi.

"Hey...you alright?" The slight chuckle in her voice betrayed the worry in her words, but she couldn't help but find the boy's face hilarious when he was seemingly terrified of someone dead asleep-for no apparant reason, either.

He looked shakily up at her, eyes not as comically wide as they were but still filled with horror. "No...his-his chakra it...it spiked w-with..." He shook his head in denile, looking down to the ground, "No, I must have been mystaken, that couldn't have been..."

"What _the hell_ are you mumbling about? If you're going to say something, at least say it loud enough so that the person you're talking too can hear you..." He looked back up at her nervously.

"Nothing, i-it was nothing. My mystake...it's just the stress getting to me...first time on the front lines an all." He gave her a shaky smile at his pathetic attempt at a joke, but she felt as if his ramblings were more to convince himself instead of her.

"You sure?" When he nodded, she lifted an eyebrow at him in speculation but let the matter drop as he lifted himself onto his feet. While brushing himself off he seemed to regain most of his control, what little he had of it in the first place, but her sharp eyes couldn't help but notice that he wouldn't even look anywhere near Kakashi.

"A-anyway, he seems fine, so maybe just drop him off at the hospital and get them to revive him. They'll tell him to get some rest and you can probably be on your way." He turned then, as if to leave, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder and the glowing eyes of one pissed off ANBU initiat.

"Where do you think _you're _going? _You're _the medic, _you_ take him. It's not my job to take him _anywhere _but to the nearest medic!" She glared at him in both suspicion and exasperation. Where had the young excited medic gone, who had, just moments ago, been absolutely enthralled with whatever mumbo-jumbo was going on with Kakashi? Now, it almost seemed as if he couldn't wait to get _away_ from Kakashi...Obviously there was something he wasn't telling her, and while at first she was going to let him get away with his secrets...Well, she'd had a bad day; she needed someone to take it out on.

* * *

><p>"Oh nooooo..." Red eyes rolled skywards. "Please. Don't hurt me. I don't want to die."<p>

Kakashi would have laughed at the mocking tone but…the thought of finding the _Kyuubi_ funny, was a little too much to handle, even for him. However, he could laugh at himself…and seeing himself fall flat on his face was definitely worth laughing at. Or at least a chuckle-he did have an image to uphold afterall, he couldn't just go around laughing like a mad man at everything he saw.

Anyway, he obviously hadn't figured out that the Kyuubi wasn't necessarily all there...although even he didn't really know what he was doing in his mind, how he got there or why he seemingly could fade in and out of existence...

_Ah, well, questions for another time I guess._

"…Probably should have told you that the Kyuubi there isn't necessarily real. Well, he's as real as the Obito is, anyway...I think."

The giant fox looked up from where he was lying; apparently losing interest in the thoroughly creeped-out individual that had just attempted to attack him, and ended up falling straight through him. Kyuubi glanced over to the mentioned Obito glimmer smiling blankly out at the scene from his dark corner.

"Yeah, you know, that things pretty creepy Kakashi. You should probably get your head checked out…" He scoffed, "…and anyways, I'm nothing like that pathetic thing. I really am the Kyuubi… just not _the_ Kyuubi…if you know what I mean."

"…?" Kakashi stared at him blankly, thinking how odd it was to watch a giant monster roll his eyes at you and sigh in exasperation.

"Kami, you're denser than Naruto! ...You know what, I give up, there's obviously no hope for you."

Kakashi ignored him, choosing to store his words in the back of his mind for future reference. Right now he needed to focus on making sure that there would _be_ a future, especially now that he had a plan…although it _was_ kind of entertaining to watch the words literally fly out of the Kyuubi's mouth, before it magically poofed out of existence. Sometimes…it's just really awesome to be inside your own head.

"ugh, that felt…weird." Kakashi could have laughed as he watched Past-kun roll 'out' of the Kyuubi, finding his discomfort oddly…endearing. Almost nostalgic, really. He still remembered when he was that easily creeped out...

"…this makes no sense." Past-kun grumbled to himself, keeping a watchful eye on the approach of his 'elder' self, "If I can't touch him…how come I can touch you?"

Kakashi shrugged, "No idea, I honestly know nothing as to why he's here or what exactly he is anymore..."

Kakashi put on a mock thoughtful look, "Although to answer why you can touch me…ano...probably because I _am _real, and this is _not _a genjutsu. Your consciousness is in my mind, so that makes you as real as me. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that my mind is now attached to your body, but…you don't really need to know that."

Past-kun eyed him coldly, flipping his short sword so it was parallel to his forearm, and lowered himself into a crouch. "Whoever, _whatever,_ you are…you will _not_ get my body."

Kakashi sighed, "I suppose I'll have to do this the hard way then…"

Kyuubi blinked, "Oh, so you figured it out?" he seemed to visibly brighten at that, "_finally!_ I can't wait to get out of this bleak place and into those snug, warm chakra coils of yours…"

Kakashi spared him an odd glance at the last statement, before turning back to the matter at hand.

'_Besides, I haven't 'figured it out' yet, I just have a…theory.'_ He breathed out deeply to calm himself; _everything_ was riding on this.

'_If this doesn't work… I would seriously disrupt the balance of this place—well, more than it already is anyway…'_

He walked cautiously towards Past-kun, seeing him more clearly now that the fog had mostly dispersed. However…it also allowed him to see the floating faces of the Hokage mountain sticking their tongues out at him, and his icha icha volumes chomping down on ramen noodles. If he could sweat in his mind, he would be swimming in a river right now.

'_Uh, yeah, that…isn't normal…Which means I should probably speed things up a bit…'_

Past-kun jumped back as mr. Ukki appeared and tried to take a chunk out of him, "what the—"

Noticing his chance, he sprinted close and took advantage of his younger self's momentary preoccupation with the new sights, hoping beyond hope that his theory was correct._'now!'_

He snapped his leg up, forcing Past-kun to stop dodging Mr. Ukki (Which was either a physical manifestation of his mind trying to get rid of the unnatural presence, or his mind was just being plain old weird.) and instead start dodging him. He was a little too slow though, and ended up catching the tail end of the kick, sending him skidding backwards. Kakashi grabed his shoulder before he could go too far, sending him slamming to the ground with a quick hit to the knees.

Although, he knew it wasn't exactly customary to knock someone off their feet on the first mind-date…he really had no choice here. He sat down stoically beside the disoriented Past-kun and reached out; grabbing his younger self's jaw quickly before he could reorient himself. He forced the struggling man to look at him, taking both of their hitai-itti's off at the same time. They couldn't use chakra here anyway, so it was of no real consequence to open both eyes.

Their eyes met again, both seeing things in each other that they'd rather not see…things that touched a little too close, and brought up a few too many memories. While at first he was going to attempt to kill him, hoping that he had been right and he was already attatched to the body, something stoped him. He wasn't sure what to call it-instincts, maybe his mind guiding him in the right direction-he didn't know. What he did know, was that some things suddenly became clear to him. He knew what to do, even if he didn't quite understand why he had to.

Black and red, red and black, black, red, black, red… so much red…Kakashi focused on that red, on the pain in both of their memories that linked them, and he pulled. He felt more than saw those memories come together, but once they did—Blackness.

* * *

><p>In the streets of Konoha, a boy could be seen walking with a bright, albeit fake, smile on his face. Goggles resting proudly on his forehead(a birthday present from the old man) the blond boy was the happiest he'd been in a long, long time. It wasn't even near the day of his birthday, since going out a week before, or after, <em>that<em> day always seemed to end in pain. So he was free to roam around happily without a care in the world. He looked around at what all the vendors were selling, smelling and drooling at the sight, but not daring to ask for anything-just seeing it was enough; because he knew that when he became Hokage, he would have all the yummy things he could possibly think of. He even had a list back at the orphange (well, a picture list anyway...) of all the things that he would have when he grew up. He looked around in the windows of the side shops as well, eyeing the various ninja weaponary that he couldn't even dream of picking up they were so heavy...not that anyone would even let him into their shop without it ending in him getting pushed out by a broom to his butt. But still, it was nice to look and pertend that he had nice things.

He looked past the weapons and noticed that the old woman behind the cash register, who had been glaring at him, was now making her way to the door. She never took her eyes off of him as she picked up her broom and waved it menacingly at him through the crack in the entrance.

"Hey! Brat! Get away from my store, You'll chase away me customers!" Naruto yelped, ducking the old lady's broom and ran in the opposite direction, all the while sticking his tongue out at her. He watched her go back inside with a huff, before stealthily flipping the open sign to closed.

He grinned at that and snickered,"Ha! Guess she was right, I did end up getting rid of her customers..."

He then grabbed an apple from one of the stall venders and hightailed it out of there before the man noticed he was one fruit short. Hey, he had to get food somewhere right? Its not like the orphanage fed him...

Eating his apple, skipping mearily down the streets, and looking pretty damn fashionable in his new goggles(_If only I had that Orange jumsuit I saw in that shop awhile back, then I'd be the best lookin' future Hokage EVER! Believe it!)_...It was one of the best days of Naruto's life.

He stopped. The apple dropped from his hand, dirtying the white of the fruit with brown specks right before a mass of ants swarmed it in search of sweet bits of food. Looking around in confusion, a blurry eyed Naruto Uzamaki felt as if he couldn't _move_. He was paralized, in front of the closed gates of Konoha, and he literally had no idea why. So he panicked.

"Wha-what is this!" He shouted...or tried too anyway. No sound came from his lips, and he soon found the only sound he _could_ here was the pounding of his heart. A flash of red passed his eyes, an image of a grand sewer and glowing eyes that terrified him and pierced right through his heart. He gasped for breath as the image flickered away before he could get a good look at the beast, a feeling of confusion rushing through him. A blast of icy coldness passed through his body, making him shiver, and then it was over and he was lying on his back breathing hard. He sat up, stumbling away from the spot where only moments ago he couldn't move from. Ignoring the stares from passing onlookers he drew up his knees and pressed his face into them, somewhat in shock and trying to force away the feeling of those red eyes on him. When he could finally breath again without shivering in fear, he slowly untensed and tried to stand. He was unsuccessfull.

Falling on his butt hurt and all, but he decided that it was better than not being able to move at all. Then, finally able to think straight without the memory of red eyes sending him into a fit of shivers, he actually realized what had just happened.

_Wha-what WAS that! _He gulped, hands still on his knees to keep them from shaking. When he got older, he would realize that, what he had felt in his brief relapse into the layer of the Kyuubi, had been killing intent. Killing intent that his prisoner naturally exuded every moment it was left sealed in him; left to stew in his pot of hatred and anger at the world. And, although in future years he would become almost immune to this killing intent, at the moment he was not-which led to him being severely freaked out unfortunately.

Not knowing what to do, he stood there for a moment, dazed and confused. Finally, as his eyes cleared and his legs stoped shaking, he noticed his apple on the ground. He blinked in horror.

"AHHHH! MY LUNCH!" He despaired, falling to his knees and crying waterfalls over his ruined apple. "You poor, poor apple...all you ever wanted was to be in my tummy..."

And just like that Naruto put the incident to the back of his mind; just like he did when he couldn't explain why the villagers hated him. Just like when he couldn't explain why he didn't have parents. Just like when he couldn't explain why he didn't have friends. Although he did give the gate one last freaked out look, (and drew a giant X mark on the spot he'd been paralized to-just so he knows to never step there again) before he began to make his way back to the park.

The Kyuubi however, was not so keen on putting the incident behind him, and pondered over the odd spike of chakra Naruto had felt that had caused him to unwittingly fall into his own mind. It was _his _chakra, no doubt about it, but what confused him was how it was _outside_ of Naruto's body. Someone else had _his_ chakra...and he wanted to know why.

* * *

><p>Yugao stared the poor medic down with her icy glare, daring him to run away from this.<p>

"What. Are. You. Hiding."

"N-nothing, ANBU-san. R-really, it was just a mystake on my part." He laughed nervously,"It's impossible that I felt what I felt from him, so it must have been a mystake!"

Her eyes narrowed, "_What_ must have been a mystake, medic?"

He looked away, and she could tell he was cracking. "Why won't you tell me? I can make it an order if you want, I do have more power than you, even if I am just an ANBU trainie right now..."

He didn't look up from Kakashi,"It's Impossible."

"Impossible to tell me, or..."

"no, what I felt was impossible. Thats all." He said with a sigh. "I just didn't want to look crazy in front of someone like you..."

She blinked and looked at him with an odd look, "Someone...like me?"

He blushed and finally looked away from Kakashi to clear his throat, "Ah, I was going to say someone as...beautiful as you ANBU-san."

Yugao looked at him in shock, not having expected such a complement from someone she had, just moments ago, been threatening. She looked away just as he looked up, her thoughts automatically turning to Hayate and how she would give _anything_ for him to be as sweet to her as this insipid medic ninja was being to her. _What is it with guys...you're nice to them and they tell you they don't like you, you're mean to them and suddenly they're all sweet and saying stuff like 'someone as beautiful as you ANBU-san!'_

She would never understand guys.

She cleared her throat, and with a sigh she looked back over to the annoying little medic that seemed to irritate her no matter what he did. Unlike most girls, she really didn't like when guys complimented her...it just made her uncomfortable. It was most likely the reason why she liked Hayate so much; he was blunt, straight to the point and never gave her any compliments...

_wow, I really have crap taste in men, don't I?_

"Oh, ok..." She finally conceeded, seeing him cowering under her gaze, still refusing to look towards Kakashi for more than two seconds.

"I guess you don't have to tell me..." she rolled her eyes, grumbling "It probably _would_ be stupid anyways..."

He imediately brightened. "Th-thank you ANBU-san! So, I'll just take my leave now..."

"Woah! I didn't say anything about taking him to the hospital!" His face fell and he slumped in the hold she had on his white medic uniform.

"But-"

She glared, and he immediately shut up. "Stop whining and do your job. You're a proffessional, so act like one already!" She released her hold of him and he promptly fell on his butt.

She watched him look dejected, shuffling up from his position on the ground to grab ahold of the stretcher, and suddenly looking confused as to how he was even going to _carry_ the stretcher when he could only reach one end. She actually felt a little pity rise up in her, but promptly squashed it.

_He needed to be told, he can't be letting personal feelings get in the way of the job! _

But even while telling herself that, she really did have no idea how he was going to get Kakashi to a hospital when there was only one person on one end of the stretcher. Honestly, who had the smart idea to send only _one _medic? How the hell was _that _a smart idea?

She sighed, she knew what she had to do...

_Why is this day so sucky? And why does it always seem like I'm the one that always gets stuck in these kind of situations!_

"Wha-what are you doing?" The medic exclaimed upon seeing her grabing hold of the other side of the stretcher.

"Well, how else are you going to carry him to the hospital?" She grimaced at the happy look on his face, "Oh, stuff it! And don't get any idea's! My previous words still stand, I'm only doing this for Kakashi's sake!"

He nodded solemnly, "Of course, ANBU-san!"

She frowned, was he mocking her? She glared, just to be sure, "I mean it!"

* * *

><p>AN: Yay Yugao! I literally don't know anything about her before Hayate dies so if she's out of character...oh well, you really don't have anyway of proving it honestly so I don't care. Also, I thought the last one was a little text heavy with all the explaining about the mind stuff, so I tried to make it a little more dialogue oriented, but I'm not sure it came out right. Also, I put a little bit of humor in there, hopefully to make it not so depressing, because I realized that If I just got a chance to change _everything bad in my life_, then I would be like _super_ happy and bouncing off the wall in excitement...but he won't always be like that. he'll realize it's not as good as a deal as he thought it would be-but that comes later!

Anyways, tell me if you liked it or if you think it rambled on too long, and if Kakashi is out of character (because I can't really tell, my writing tends to all blend in tgther after reading it over so many times...but I really really tried to make him as in character as possible.

Oh! and I loved the little naruto scene. I don't know, just the idea of a 3 year old naruto crying over a dropped apple makes me laugh...I know i'm horrible, i can't help it.

'till next time...

R&R!


	4. The Void

A/N: Hi! I wasn't sure how long to wait until I posted this so I decided to wait a week. I also did some revising; which ended up making it about 10 pages longer…I was seriously considering stringing you all along for another week before we got to the preview but…I'm in a good mood so I'm giving it all to you in one super long chapter(by my standards anyway) and hoping that you all like it and start reviewing me.

Anyway, review responses;For all of you who alerted/favorite me or my story, I luv u all too so don't be jealous. :D

To Prescripto13, MidniteCurse4Eternity, and Toushirou-chan…

Thanx 4 sticking with me so far! :D you've reviewed every one of my chapters so far, which makes me happy that you keep coming back 4 more. It means that my story isn't becoming garbage. :P

Also, to anyone who thinks that Yugao is an OC—she's not. I promise, she really is part of the manga as well as the anime. She had a very small part; she was Hayate Gekko's lover and wanted revenge against the one who had killed him. She first shows up in chapter 137 in the manga and in episode 54, I think, in the anime. But yeah, I've seen her and Hayate in other fanfiction and have always thought they were a cute couple. Plus she's fun to write. However, she will not be a romantic interest for Kakashi—and no I will not tell you who is for at least another few chapters. She does show up in this chapter though, in a memory. The romance will be slow going unfortunately…

oh! and one other thing; the manga hasn't ended, so what happens in the final battle during the fourth shinobi war is completely AU just so you all know...

Now! On to the chapter—which I'm actually quite proud of for once!

* * *

><p>Emotions are complex things. So even though many try to reason with them and control them…they just don't understand that they are far too complex for any one person to completely understand. They can bring a man to his knees in anguish, give a mother the strength to protect her child, start wars over petty pride, break friendships, start friendships and give people the will to carry on with a hope for a better future but they most certainly can't be controlled...or at least not for long. They are horrible and beautiful all at once and, although many may want to, they will never be truly gone from a person. If emotions were completely eradicated from a person, no matter what science says, they would not be human. Emotions cannot be erased like the mind, nor destroyed like the body, and will continue to persevere and spread throughout humanity like a plague with no cure. And, yes, while they can be pushed into a corner to collect dust along with the memories that caused them; they will always find reason to rise up again and bring those memories along with them.<p>

Kakashi, was just now realizing this. He had been called a genius, a _prodigy_, all his life…but it wasn't until he was in his thirties, dead, and anticipating going back in _time_ that he truly understood this fact of life. He knew that this realization should be a wakeup call for him; that he should finally deal with his problems and not try throw his emotions off a pier tied to a slab of concrete. However…the moment he realized that he was about to go on a trip down memory lane; all he could think about was the urge to close his eyes, stick his fingers in his ears and go 'lalalalala!' until the images stopped coming. It was also then that he realized that even if he wanted to, dealing with emotions took time, which he had none of right now.

Also, he was physically incapable of closing his eyes, sticking his fingers in his ears and going 'lalalalala!' because as far as he knew; he didn't even have eyes, ears or a tongue right now.

He felt as if his mind had gone dark as soon as he'd…done whatever he'd done. What had he done? He couldn't remember…it was as if he'd been running on instinct then, like something had been guiding him as soon as he'd locked eyes with Past-kun.

Well, whatever it had been that had helped him _then_, obviously didn't feel it necessary to help him _now_. So he had no choice but to watch, as the images and memories that were rising (in his mind? He wasn't sure whether he was in his own or Past-kun's mind anymore …) became clearer and more focused. It was like someone had taken _every_ one of his bricks and knocked them down with a sledge hammer. They were breaking apart into a million pieces, and he wasn't sure he would ever be able to put them back together again. Not that there had been many left standing after the emotional onslaught of the final battle-but the ones that had been old and sturdy had kept, and it was what he'd depended on to keep his dam from breaking. They were his foundation, the very beginning of his emotional bricking, and had been slathered with so much concrete over the years that he'd hardly given a thought to the memories lurking in his past; or the pain that they caused him. The only thing he hadn't been able to hide away was Obito, but that was because Obito was the foundation to _everything _that he was now. Ever since him he'd first become a jounin, ever since _that _mission, Obito was what had defined him. Obito was what he strove to be like, to live up to. It was almost like he was looking to make up for his sins against him, make up for his death, by living out his life for him. Even if it was small things—like continuously being late—or big things; like believing down to his very _marrow_ that in the ninja world, those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash. He would forever be changed by Obito, as well as forever humbled and in debt to him for breaking him of his idiotic ideals about rules and dying for the mission's sake. So it was only fair that even in his mind he would have a living memorial to one of his greatest mistakes; to remind him to never fail his comrades again, and never forget the one who was truly a hero that night—even if everyone else does.

However, just because he would never forget his sacrifice—and that it was his fault—he also didn't want to see a word-for-word replay of it. He didn't want to watch as he made the same mistake all over again—felt the same helplessness all over again—and most certainly didn't want the knife in his chest as he watched Obito die. His pain over Obito's death had dulled with time and waned away to guilt and sadness, but with these memories they seemed so much _fresher;_ so much _younger._

Like his memories were being replaced, refreshed, by someone else's memories. Someone younger, and who could remember more…

Was this what mind merging felt like? Had he finally done it? Maybe he had…maybe focusing on the emotions present in both of them, at the same time, had triggered this. Perhaps his more experienced senses had kicked in when he realized that his soul was connected to his body, and this was the result of his mind fighting for dominance over his younger self.

He smirked as he felt the memory of Obito become clearer and sharper, laying more heavily in his chest as well. From the feel of it—even though that feeling was horrible and made his breathing hard—it seemed as if his mind was winning.

Hoping he was right, kakashi didn't resist as he was pulled out of his thirteen year old body and away from the frozen smile and hollow eye socket Obito had died with. With a twisting, jerking sensation, he felt himself sucked into another memory and into another body. The images swirled around him as he adjusted to the feeling of having no control over your own body; only a visitor in this place, and unable to do anything. The thought frightened him and reminded him of the quest that lay waiting for him outside the hell that was his own mind. Despite the fox's reassurances, he was still unsure if he would be able to save them. What he _was_ sure of however, was that he would do anything and everything in his power before he broke his promise to himself again. He _would_ protect his comrades, his special people, even if he failed he would die trying and he would never give up.

_I promise, Naruto, I'll get you back. I'll keep you safe; I'll do it right this time. I promise I won't run away this time. I'll pay attention to you, I'll be the Sensei I never was to all of you, and I promise I'll give everything I have to save everyone; just as I should have done in the first place, just as you would have done. _He gave a small smile. His own thoughts reminded him of the words that Naruto had spoken what seemed a century ago.

_"I'm not gonna run away, I never go back on my word! Because that's my nindō: my ninja way!" _

The images settled just as Naruto's voice faded from his mind, but Kakashi was determined that whatever the next memory would be; he wouldn't allow himself to break until he was safely in his body, curled up in his apartment, and in the past.

The memory changed again, colors swirling together in a conglomerate of red, silver, and the black of night. The black slowly unfurled away from the sky, leaving a grey sky in its place. The sun barely peaked over the Hokage Mountains, casting their grand faces into shadow as well as half the village. Kakashi felt his body—soul, mind whatever he was right now—being twisted and spun into the body of his young self once again, leaving him disoriented as to where he was for a moment. However, he was unable to turn his head or look up at his surroundings, so he stopped resisting and decided to study the ground instead.

He was walking, that much he knew, along the down trodden streets of konoha. It seemed that was going backwards in his memories, considering that he looked as if he was much younger than 13 at the moment. He couldn't be sure as to when _exactly _he was, whether it was before or after his father's death, but he was sure that it was after his 'dishonor' in the eyes of the village. How did he know that? Well…let's just say that _before_ his father's dishonoring people didn't _normally_ glare at him for no good reason and whisper behind his back…

"_Did you see that? It's that traitor's son, the Hatake."_

Their hatred spread like fire; they were eager to blame anyone for the loss their village had suffered. Especially after Sakumo locked himself up in the house the deeper he fell into his depression. And of course later, when he committed seppuku, they would be able to justify their words with his suicide saying; _see? I told you he was a traitor. Seems he couldn't live with the guilt betraying his country had left him with. Killing himself was the only thing he could do to redeem himself!_

But after he was dead they had no one to blame their troubles on, and so they turned to him; the traitors son. They turned their ridicule, their glares, and all their scorn towards him.

However, it didn't seem as if this was after his father's death. They hadn't yet mentioned anything about suicide, or Minato taking him in so…it must be a memory from before Sakumo's suicide.

"_Hmf, they say he's a prodigy; became genin just days ago. And he's only 5 years old! What a freak of nature…"_

"_Prodigy? Yeah, but…what good will being a prodigy do him if he's just going to grow up and use his skill to dishonor our village?"_

_Kakashi ignored their whispers; as he always did, and continued on towards the market without a single look back. He was used to their taunts; he'd been dealing with them for a full month now, ever since his father came back from that mission. Things had changed since then, and contrary to his fathers distracted mumblings, he knew why. He was a genin now; he was being sent out on missions for the war effort EVERY DAY! He knew why the villagers called Sakumo a traitor, why they looked at him—his son—with disdain and that look that said;_

" _He'll end up just like his father, the little brat…They should never have let him become a ninja…"_

_He had heard that his father had chosen to save his comrades instead of complete the mission, knowing that because of his decision konoha would suffer a great blow. He looked at what had become of his days because of it, looked at what his father had done, what he'd become…and he hated him for it._

_It was times like these that he wished he could just like all the other 5 year olds; playing in the park with their friends, and when they got hurt, running to a mother and a father that weren't dead or half gone with depression._

_He'd been walking aimlessly for hours it seemed now, wishing things were different than they were; wishing that things could go back to how they used to be before his father's mission had gone wrong. He'd completely forgotten that he had at first had the intention on going to the market to pick up food for their empty cupboards. His father no longer ever wanted to eat it seemed, and subsequently it was left up to his 5 year old son to do the groceries as well as the cooking. No need to do housework though, the place was so barren it hardly looked like anyone lived there half the time._

_His feet tripped on something, forcing him out of his thoughts as he felt wet sand hit his hands. Wet? Sand? Hadn't he just moments ago been on a road? Wait…His eyes widened and he pulled on the tuffs of hair beside his ears in frustration. How could he have forgotten to go the market? It was the only reason he'd come out early today before training started!_

_No, he INSTEAD had to completely zone out and come all the out to-to…Uhm—wait, where exactly is this?_

Finally, his younger self looked up from the ground—now dark with rain and mud—and he tried to remember what memory this could possibly be while five year old kakashi looked around in curiosity and confusion. He kept coming up with blanks however, as he could remember very little before his father died. It had been the turning point for him—the catalyst that would give him the drive to, after only one year as a genin, become a chuunin at age six, the youngest ever.

_He realized that he had not gone to the market as he had intended to. Instead, he found himself on the outskirts of the very park he had just been thinking about. Children ran through the puddles scattered around, twirling and giggling wildly as their parents tried to catch them and force them under an umbrella. Most of them were already soaking wet by the time the downpour had lessened somewhat—huh…when had it started raining? He couldn't remember, he just felt so numb today…had felt numb for an entire month._

"…_ano…"_

_Kakashi's head snapped up at the sound, startled that he hadn't felt the person's chakra before it reached him. His head felt foggy, his eyes blinking in and out of focus on the figure in front of him. He could just barely make out that it was a girl, with black hair and pale skin that stood out like porcelain against the sky's dark backdrop. Eyes darker than coal peered straight down at him from under her forehead protector, round with curiosity but practically dripping with kindness and worry._

"_Are you alright?" She finally asked, bending at her waist to come eye to eye with him, "You've just been sitting there for the past five minutes…"_

_No answer. He just continued to stare blankly at her in astonishment. She wasn't taunting him, she wasn't sneering at him, she wasn't even GLARING at him…she was—_

"_Hmmmm…well, you can't just sit out here in the rain all day." She said with a gentle smile and a huff, "We wouldn't want you to catch a cold now would we? Now...Here you go!"_

_He once again stared blankly at the outstretched hand holding an umbrella towards him. He gulped down the lump in his throat, ignoring the umbrella and instead choosing to stare back up at the girl in front of him. She showed no signs of growing impatient of his continued lack-luster performance in the art of moving and thinking, and only smiled brightly at him when their eyes met. Both their eyes were dark, and yet he couldn't help but think that hers were so much…brighter than any eyes he'd ever seen before._

Kakashi watched the memory avidly through the eyes of the child, hardly believing he'd almost forgotten this moment. Even his teen self barely remembered it, if the blurred out of focus vision was anything to go by, and yet…it still seemed so important. As the years had gone by, this moment had faded from his mind, left to be remembered only as the one time anyone was kind to him after his father's disgrace. But now, looking back on this memory, he could see the significance that it held for the rest of his life.

_Kakashi shook his head, pushing the umbrella back after realizing that she was getting wet. He pulled himself up off the ground, ignoring her offered hand, and forcing the teenager in front of him to step back and straighten up from her position. He still couldn't get over the fact that she didn't look at him with disdain; only worry, and that gentle kindness that never seemed to leave her face._

He as well as his Past-self had long since forgotten the details of this memory, her features blurred beyond recognition until only her dark hair and those kind black eyes remained. He couldn't even remember her name, although he knew she had given it to him, but he would never forget those eyes…they had been the kindest he had ever seen.

_He went to wipe his muddy hands off on his black sweat shirt, but her hand stopped him. He didn't resist when she pulled out a piece of cloth and carefully rubbed the dirt and mud away, kneeling now so she was eye to eye with the small child before her._

_She said something else as well, but her words were all starting to blur together now, and then led him over to the small ramen stand on the corner street of the park. He couldn't remember if it had still been raining or not or where her umbrella had gone, what had been said or even what the ramen had tasted like. What he did remember was that he had been happy for that brief moment in his childhood; he had felt as if he wasn't all alone in the world. She had made him realize that not everyone hated him, and it gave him a sort of childish hope that everything would somehow get better._

_He couldn't remember how he got home that night but he knew that he hadn't once noticed any of the glares directed at him._

It had been more than 30 years for him since it had happened, but even after all this time he could remember how lost and alone he had felt after his father began falling into his depression. The village had turned on him, and the few friends he'd had—who hadn't thought he was a freak. Who hadn't been jealous of him for being so much younger than them; but so much stronger—had forsaken him once they'd heard of his father's transgressions.

With the state he had been in…he wasn't sure if he would have made it through the months following his father's death without her random act of kindness that day. He had almost lost faith in everything after his father died, had almost blamed Konoha, and if that had happened…he had no doubt that he would probably have gone the same way Sasuke did.

However, she had restored that faith in his village and it made him realize that it was his father that had been in the wrong—even if now he knew it wasn't. Although he did regret thinking like he did as a child, knowing that it had led to Obito's death, he also knew that it had been what he needed at the time. He had needed an excuse, to blame someone, and if not his father it would have been Konoha. It made him wonder if Naruto would have become like Sasuke if he had not had Iruka and the Hokage; would he have been driven insane with loneliness and hatred for himself like he would later on in his life? He supposed that it didn't matter, because he was going to make sure that he would _never_ become the Naruto he had known before the war ended. He was going to make sure that there never even _was_ a war.

Everything happened for a reason, and even though he wished that he could save _everyone_…he couldn't.

When Sakumo had died, kakashi was freed from the chains of his father's dishonor, and it gave him a reason to push forward; it was the driving force that would lead him to become a chuunin at age 6 and a jounin at age 13.

Obito had died so that he could finally see the truth; his death gave him the courage his father never had to live by the principals he truly believed in and would shape everything that he was today.

And Rin…he had always told himself that he would protect her; that he would never again leave her behind…her death made him realize that he wasn't as strong as he thought he was, forcing him to train mercilessly for the _right _reasons this time. Not for power, not for his father to be proud, not to protect himself—but to protect his friends. And though he wished he could, he would _never_ be so selfish as to sacrifice the village just so he could have his Sensei back.

And without that faceless girl's kindness, he wouldn't be as loyal to Konoha as he was today. His only family killed in front on him, pushed to suicide by the villagers he'd spent his life protecting…without that one seemingly harmless encounter, he would have blamed the citizens of Konoha and probably grown up to plot against them. He would have become what Naruto would have become without his friends to give him hope.

Yes, everything in his life had happened for a reason…and because of this he knew that he wouldn't be able to save _everyone_. He wasn't sure yet of what could be changed and what couldn't, but he was going to try his damnedest to make sure he saved everyone that could be saved and protect his team from the fate that he knew would befall them—if he didn't stop it from happening, that is.

With new found resolve, he braced himself for the next memory, having no clue as to what would come next. The memories seemed to come in random order, but it seemed only ones that evoked especially intense emotions were being replayed.

The ramen stand had long since faded away, and the dirt streets of konoha twisted and shook until they were Tatami mats beneath his feet. Walls rose around him, darkness settled in, the only illumination being the moon coming in from the window facing him. The window that also faced his father, and allowed for light to flicker over his sword in forewarning.

"_Father?"_

Kakashi felt his stomach drop as the word passed from his own mouth.

He knew what the memory was even before he saw his father kneeling in the middle of the floor, before he ever saw the horrible look on his father's face as he fingered the sharp side of his blade.

"_F-father! Father no! Please, stop and think about what you are doing! You'll be a disgrace if you kill yourself; its cowardice!"_

He would have said anything, _anything_ to get his father to put down that blade. He remembered being so panicked, _so_ _scared,_ as he watched his father place the tip to his stomach.

"_I already am a disgrace…the disgrace of the village. I already am a coward, and I know not even death will change that." _

He realized that he had never once looked up at him, was too much of a coward to look the son he was leaving behind in the eyes and face up to what he was doing. He felt an almost guilty feeling rise up at those thoughts, but he couldn't help but still feel betrayed at his father's seppuku, especially knowing now that his father's disgrace would later have him become the village pariah.

_Kakashi felt his feet fly across the floor, skidding to a halt in front of Sakumo so quickly that his legs slid out from under him. All ninja training went out the window in that moment, and a Chuunin suddenly found himself becoming what most 6 year olds would be in this situation; scared, panicked, and desperate enough that he couldn't even think straight. But while other 6 year olds got to go home and cry mommy when they became this way, all kakashi had ever had was Sakumo; and now he was watching even that be taken away from him. He wouldn't allow it, he wouldn't just sit here and watch this happen!_

"…_and I'm sorry." The once booming sound of his voice became tight with repressed emotions, cracking under the pressure of containing itself, " I'm sorry that you had to have such a cowardly father Kakashi—!" Kakashi was now struggling with sword handle, screaming at him to stop to let it go, please father! STOP! _

_Great shuddering gasps shook his young body as he felt blood slither down, across the hilt of the sword and onto the childish hands that were still trying to stop the sword from moving any further._

Kakashi saw the tears on his childish face fall and mix with his father's blood, some of the last tears he'd ever spend until the death of Konoha, and as he looked up he realized that his father had been crying too. Great giant streams fell from the uncovered anguished face that had once held such strength in the face of adversity. Now he was reduced to a mere shadow of his past self; his abilities lost through depression, shame and dishonor. He had been too young and shaken to notice this when it was happened, it seems, and too angry and desperate to push the memory away, when he later entered his mind…but now, he watched not with anger, but understanding as his father cried silently, died silently and faded from history _not_ so silently.

"_Coward!" Kakashi sobbed, holding his head in his hands as he rocked away from the corpse of Sakumo, "You s-stupid C-COWARD!"_

He winced at the words in his mind, having realized now that it had not been cowardice or weakness that had caused his father to save his comrades, but courage. He had known this for quite some time,(because of Obito) but it was only after Pein had attacked Konoha and he'd come face to face with his father again—for the first time since he was six—that he'd finally made peace with him. It was the only thought that could dull the hard edge of guilt he felt when he watched his father die to the sound of his own son calling him a traitor and a coward.

However, even his more recent memories of Sakumo couldn't stop the past memory from becoming clearer and clearer in his mind, from adding the details he had forgotten—

_The way his eyes had gone blank and uncovered face slack, the way the blood had pooled and soaked into the tatami mats, how his bile had mixed with his own father's blood on his hands…_

—he knew that when he won this battle his guilt ridden nightmares would only be fed even more by the images that were now picture perfect again in his mind. It had taken years to build walls around this memory, _years._ And it seemed like in the span of a minute it could become a pile of rubble filled with sharp edged rocks that pierced his nightmares and rolled his stomach into a frenzy of guilt, longing, and small unforgettable feeling that he had been betrayed somehow.

He wasn't sure if he could handle the weight of all these memories on his chest along with the ones of his recently fallen comrades; wasn't sure if he could rebuild these walls quick enough to stay sane. But no—he couldn't give in; too much was riding on this! Too much had to be done, too many had to be save, and he had promised that. Besides, he would never forgive himself if he allowed himself to go insane before Gai did; he would never here the end of it.

He waited for the scene to change, waited it to go on to the next memory, and speculated on what it would be next. He figured probably Rins death, but he couldn't be sure since there was seemingly no pattern to the onslaught of memories. He felt the twisting sensation begin once again in the pit of his stomach, and the now familiar swirl of colors surrounded him. However, while he was expecting to appear on a boat surrounded by water and mist, he instead appeared on a boat surrounded by water, mist and a giant red ball.

He stared at the large mass of red in front of him, confused. He still couldn't move however, being inside a memory, and when his body looked away he also had to look away. It was odd; by the looks of things everyone on the boat, including himself, didn't seem to notice the giant-red-ball-thing. So it couldn't be part of the memory, or else he would remember it. There was _no way_ that he would forget something like a floating ball of red fur in the middle of the lake.

Wait…FURRY! How had he not noticed that?

If kakashi could have, he would have cursed himself for not realizing who it was as soon as he saw it. But…why _was_ the kyuubi in his memory? Or was he in his mind watching his memories? Oh great, now he's going to have to deal with that stupid fox taunting him about how he was such 'a blubbering baby as a kid'. Why did he have to see _this_ memory? Kami, he was a prick…how had Naruto and Kushina put up with the bastard?

"HEY! Watch what you say you stupid scarecrow; I _can _hear you ya know!"

Kakashi felt more than saw his body being pulled out of his past body; who had yet to see Rin die and start crying thank Kami—he really didn't want that idiot fox seeing that.

"Hey! HELLOOO! Did you not hear a word that I just said, you stupid human? I'm part of you now, so _I can hear your thoughts._" The voice spoke slowly, as if speaking to a child, and the giant red ball of fur slowly twisted around to show one great eye splitting it in half. The grumbling voice seemingly came from a nonexistent mouth, echoing in his very mind, "Jeez, maybe I should have just left you in there to go insane."

Now able to move freely, the real Kakashi slowly flexed his neck and glared lazily up at the creepy eye peering down at him, "Insane? I was doing perfectly fine; I could have handled it…"

"Psh, you wouldn't be saying that after watching _every_ one of your worst memories all over again. Do you really want to see all of your friends die again? 'cus I _can_ leave you here…"

Kakashi's shoulders tensed and he looked away from the fox towards the fight taking place on the surface of the lake only feet from him. The sound of clashing swords was distanced, mostly muted now that he was no longer in the body of memory Kakashi. No matter how strong he knew his will to stay sane was, he wasn't about to willingly test it out by torturing himself unnecessarily.

"…fine." He could practically feel the kyuubi smirking, and he almost regretted his decision. His regret soon poofed out of existence however, when he heard a scream sound from his left; a very _feminine_ sounding scream…

"Just get me the Hell out of here."

The floating mass appeared before him, and he found himself staring into the dark pupil of the Kyuubi. It didn't blink once as it consumed him, the darkness pulling him in and sucking him into an all-consuming blackness.

* * *

><p>Yugao stood outside in the waiting room, eager to leave but at the same time eager to stay. Kakashi had always been an enigma to her-to everyone really-and now she had a chance to unravel some of that thread that held him all together. She grinned; maybe even unravel the thread far enough to whip off his mask and see his face. She'd be the envy of every ninja out there who'd ever met the ANBU captain of only one year.<p>

After the awkward walk to the hospital with the shifty nervous idiot who'd actually tried to _flirt_ with her, she'd only planned to stay until she had managed to make sure her trainee Captain was safely in the hospitals care-and not some inexperienced medic with a crush on her. However, after watching the medics stand around and examine him; commenting on how odd his chakra was behaving...well, she'd gotten a little interested.

It was like some kind of mystery! Almost like watching a movie with your favorite actor in it, and knowing that he'd live (because he was the main character), but still curious as to what would happen to build up to that point. Plus there was all that foreshadowing with Shifty medic and his little freak out, and that whole thing where she'd heard that the kid with the Kyuubi had been cowering right outside the gates around the same time-though she doubted this had anything to do with the situation, it still kinda felt like too much of a coincidence for her to be totally convinced it wasn't.

She stopped at her own thoughts, staring down at the door that would lead out of the hospital, her hand half-way to the door handle. _Damnitt!_ She just couldn't leave...she was too curious for her own good.

Turning swiftly, she made her way across the waiting room again, heading for the free clinic; which is where he would be since they didn't know if he had any way of paying them...which was sort of stupid on their part. He was an ANBU official, a captain, and they made more money than an entire squad of special Jounin after a week of doing A-rank missions. Obviously he had money plenty enough to pay for a measly hospital bill, hell, he could probably pay for the whole squads hospital bill right now.

Problem was that most ANBU didn't stay in their position long; it's why they gave so much money to those who did join their ranks; they had to give _some_ kind of incentive to stay, otherwise they wouldn't have anyone to do their dirty work...

Pushing her thoughts on ANBU behind her, she made her way past white walls and multiple curtain surrounded beds, looking for one with a matt of silver lying against the pillow. Fortunately for her, when she did sight him, she was lucky enough that they didn't also see _her_ heading straight for them. Quickly redirecting herself to the left, she rounded the bed surrounded by medics and headed in behind the curtain of the bed beside it. She smirked, no one seemed to notice, and they all assumed that she was meant to be there.

Then again, she wasn't in ANBU for nothing. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she failed something like _this_. It was practically genin's play to trick medic ninja and hospital staff.

"H-Hey what the-mmf!"

"Shhhhh..." She pressed a finger to her lips, her hand still covering the mouth of the young civilian before her. _Damn,_ she was really off her game today. She hadn't even realized that there was an actual _person_ in the bed; she hadn't even thought to check for it. She was too focused on the mystery before her.

Satisfied with the silence of her victim (After a death glare and a few whispers of what she would do to him if he as so much as squawked.) she turned towards the curtain. Leaning close, she peered out of the crack where the curtain met the wall, barely seeing the backs of the medics near Kakashi's head.

"It's so odd..." said the one nearest to Kakashi's head, "Nothing we do will wake him up. And his chakra..."

"It's truly the oddest thing I've ever seen." Said Mr. Shifty-nervous-I-have-a-chrush-on-you medic from earlier, "It's why I called you down to take a look at him Shishou. I thought maybe you'd have some kind of idea why..."

"Perhaps it's...some kind of coma." The supposed Shishou to Mr. Shifty-nervous-I-have-a-crush-on-you said in confusion, "But, usually when someone is in a coma their chakra becomes slow and depleted, almost sluggish in its patterns...but his-his are almost _fighting_ against each other-"

Mr. shifty looked up at the abrupt stop in his sentence, looking at his teacher with slight worry, "What is it Shishou?"

"I-I don't know. It's almost as if—here, come—put your hands here and feel this..." His Shishou-who she figured must be the head medic here-said quickly. "It's feels like this side won the battle-do you feel it?"

"Yes, Shishou. It's like they've melded together..." She could sense his apprehension even without seeing his face. He must be thinking about what happened the last time the chakra started to meld together-whatever it was that happened anyway.

A gasp tore through both head medic and disciple, and she saw them back away, coming almost uncomfortably close to her curtain hide-away. (ha-ha, that rhymed! :D)

"D-did you feel...?" He nodded and tore his hands away from Kakashi's body.

"Y-yes, Shishou. That Chakra...I thought I had imagined it before but..."

She leaned forward in interest. _Does he mean before, by the gate, when he freaked out...?_

She felt the citizen behind her poked his head over her shoulder, (or as much as a person _could_ poke their head up with a neck brace on.)blocking her view. She shoved him to the ground impatiently, ignoring the fact that she'd just knocked out a citizen, and peered back on the scene in excitement-only to almost fall back on the poor citizen behind her in surprise.

A scream had suddenly ripped itself from Kakashi's throat.

* * *

><p>His mind went blank. Then, almost like a match being lit, consciousness returned to him; leaving him disoriented as to what had just happened. Darkness still surrounded him, but he discovered that a match really had been lit; or a torch to be exact. The flames were only feet from him, and flickered in mid-air, suspended by nothing.<p>

Despite their closeness, he could not feel their heat. He couldn't really feel himself either, and for a moment he panicked; had he somehow been disconnected from the body? Was this death?

Struck by an odd compulsion he couldn't help but obey, he turned his head to the side, expecting only darkness. What he found was instead his past self, who stared back at him with confusion. So this couldn't be death then, or else he wouldn't be here with him. And anyway, death couldn't explain why he could still feel where his mind was. He couldn't explain it, but…it was like he was numb, even his emotions felt dimmed—far off, through a path that he could feel pulling his entire existence, towards his mind maybe?—but he could still think.

"What did you-where am I?" Past-kun looked around fretfully.

"I don't know..." he responded, truthfully. Nor did he care really; he was just glad to be away from the memories that were sure to begin haunting him with a vengeance once he got back to Konoha.

Past-kun looked to him angrily, "Of course you know! _You_ brought us here!"

"I didn't _bring_ us here, I simply had a...theory. The rest happened on its own."

"Yeah? And what exactly is this _theory_ or yours?"

Kakashi was silent for a moment as he looked at the impatient, _young_ version of himself. _Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt...I'm pretty sure he can't do anything about it now..._

"When you hit me...I felt it." he began.

Past-kun looked at him like he was an idiot. "Yeah, that usually happens when someone hits you. What? Did it hurt your feelings or something?"

"...no, you idiot, I'm dead." He snarled, "Which means that all I am is a floating soul; a big ball of energy with a consciousness. With no body to be attached too, I would have no ability to feel. When you hit me, I felt pain-both the pain you had inflicted on me as well as the pain you yourself had felt."

Understanding slowly spread across Past-kun's face, followed by disgust and then an almost defeated look. "So, then, I've already lost. You've been attached to my body for some time now..."

Kakashi watched him from the corner of his eye, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with his claim that he'd already lost. Mostly because he didn't actually believe that he had lost just yet...but he didn't want him to know that. If his mind was fighting against his right now, all it would take would be for his mind to cave under the pressure and everything would be lost.

"But how? How did you attach your...soul, or whatever, to my body?"

Kakashi laughed slightly, "The Kyuubi said it would be simple...I just never realized _how_ simple." He looked towards Past-kun fully now.

"The key to it, Past-kun, is this-Time. The more time I spent with your consciousness the more I became attached to your body. I don't know how, maybe because we're the same person or maybe it was the Kyuubi's jutsu, but my mind seemed to automatically do this without me even knowing it."

He chuckled deeply at the disappointed look on his face. "I know right? I was expecting something more too, which is why I was pretty much just fumbling around for so long, with no idea what to do. Although, the sadistic fox probably enjoyed that..."

Past-kun nodded in agreement, "Yeah, but that still doesn't explain how we ended up here though..."

"Ah, that. Well..." Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly, deciding not to tell him about the spin of memories he'd just escaped from; just to be safe, "I have no real explanation as to what got us here. Instincts I guess."

Young Kakashi looked at him oddly, "I didn't know you could _have_ instincts in your mind..."

"Me either," Kakashi smiled at his younger self, taking his slight jab as a peace offering to _not_ fight anymore. He found it oddly heartwarming to finally be getting along with himself. He sighed with happiness. Ah, how he loved touching family moments...

"And anyways, maybe it wasn't instincts. All I know is that _something_ was telling me, almost _forcing _me, to grab you. And then after that; it was like I could suddenly see everything about myself and you seperated...then, somehow, I just knew to focus on the emotions and memories that both of us shared...and once I did that, all I had to do was snap them together." This was true, he really didn't know what had done this, but…he had a feeling that the Kyuubi had done it and for that he was grateful; he really hadn't any idea as to what he'd been doing…

"That must have been what forced us here then," Past Kakashi said thoughtfully.

"Hm." Kakashi grunted in agreement, also looking around thoughtfully, but couldn't come up with even the slightest idea as to where they were. He raised an eyebrow as he leaned down to touch the floor. _There was no floor, _he was _standing_ on _nothing._ Interesting…

Something seemed to occur to Past-kun, as he looked to the flame that was also in front of him, solemnly, "Did I even have a chance at getting out of this?"

"Well...probably." Kakashi scratched the back of his head sheepishly, at the shocked look on his counterparts face. "All you had to do was focus and maybe freak out a little more. It would have upset the balance of my mind enough that your consciousness would have been thrown out and I would probably die."

"Great," he actually had the decency to look a little remorseful at that, "So, I would have been screwed either way then. Die if I give up my body to you; or live with the knowledge that I would _eventually_ die, in the future, and that it would be my own doing..."

"So, I guess you finally believe that I'm from the future now..." Kakashi responded with a smirk.

Past-kun glared at him, "I knew from the start...I just didn't want to believe it. Then later, I honestly just didn't want to admit that the Kyuubi was _right_."

"I know that feeling." Kakashi sighed, "But if I hadn't done as he said, then I probably wouldn't be here right now; trying to change everything..."

"Speaking of _'here'_, do you have any idea exactly where we are?" Past-Kun (and he should really stop calling him that...) narrowed his eyes as he looked away from Kakashi to the blackness that surrounded them, before settling on watching both their flames flicker.

"Why yes, yes I do."

Both jumped at the unnatural two toned yipping laughter that came from just beyond the light of their torches. Kyuubi laughed again at their synchronized jump as he stepped forward into the light, red eyes almost glowing as he peered at them from the darkness. It was then that Kakashi realized just how _at home_ the Kyuubi looked there in the dark, how at home he seemed in this place.

"Kyuubi..." Kakashi nodded towards him, wondering if seeing the kyuubi meant that they were still in his mind. Past-kun gave him a narrowed glare before demanding that he had 'better explain things, right the fuck now.' It really was amazing to realize—and see it up close and personal—how quick to anger he had been as a teenager. Well, he was going to change that as soon as he got back into his body of course...if he could resist the teenage hormones that is.

Kakashi almost groaned at that, but held it back in lieu of staring at the Kyuubi thoughtfully, ready to voice his own question, "Are we...still in my mind? Or, are we in my past-self's mind now?"

"Neither." Kyuubi said with a feral look towards the younger of the Kakashi twins, not forgetting his little outburst. "I brought both of your consciousness' here to get you away from going insane while your minds meld. You're in the Void. Which is technically nowhere really, so I'm surprised either one of you is even seeing this." At both of their questioning looks, he sighed and explained his reasoning impatiently, "When people usually enter the void, their minds don't have any energy to feed on; leading to them becoming a living vegetable for a short period of time, unable to think or feel once they are disconnected from their mind."

Kyuubi cocked his head, tongue hanging out in a fashion similar to a dog, "I suppose I'm the energy that you're feeding off of. I'm not entirely sure; there has never been any record of any humans being in the Void conscious; only demons and summoned creatures..."

Past-self's eye twitched, as he looked at the fox skeptically, "How do I know I can trust this information; I've never even heard of anyone being in this 'void'."

Obviously that was the wrong thing to say, for as soon as he finished his sentence the Kyuubi was leaping towards him, past the floating flames, until they were nose to nose. He was shocked to realized that he couldn't feel anything when their nose's touched; only numb, unfeeling nothingness. Remembering what his elder self-had said, he realized that now he knew what it 'felt' like to be disconnected from your own body.

"Do not question my knowledge, human. I've been around for _so_ much longer than you have, and have heard and learned many things that you couldn't even _dream _of knowing without your head exploding." He growled, "Things like the fact that the Void _is _known in your world, in your village in fact; you just don't have access to that sort of information."

While Kakashi's past-self looked confused at his words, Kakashi himself looked as if another light bulb just went on in his head.(where ever that was...)

"...He's right, Konoha _does_ know of the Void." He said in wonder, "Except they call it a different name; the Spirits Abyss." Past glanced towards Kakashi, looking interested instead of skeptical like he'd expected him to.

"So then, it must be top secret information that only the Hokage has access-"

"Actually, no." Kakashi interrupted, "Not even the Hokage knew of this until the Fourth Great Shinobi War."

Past-kun's eyes widened at this; both at the fact that even the Hokage hadn't known _and _at the idea of a Fourth Great War. Kakashi took his speachlessness as acceptance, but watched him warily for any sign's that he would freak out-not that it mattered anymore, considering that they were no longer in an unstable mind with an unnaturally realistic imagination for man-eating plants.

Past-kun finally seemed to refocus, "If not the Hokage, then who-"

"The Yamanaka's. It's where the consciousness of the victims of their mind jutsu go, in order for them to take over the body." His eyes widened.

"Why would they keep something like this hidden?"

"You don't seem to understand the magnitude of this place, Little Kakashi." Kyuubi growled again, interjecting briefly, "The Void is the place between three worlds; Human, Demon, and Creature. It is meant as a gate way for Summoning creatures to cross through to get to the Human world. However, one of the 10 tailed beasts of the demon world also found this gate and used it to cross over to the human world to wreak havoc; being separated into 9 different beasts by the Sage of Six Paths as a result. Therefore, this place is pretty damn huge-almost an infinite chasm—and also has access to realms with beasts of _unimaginable_ power; more power than even myself unsealed. If control of the Void became known to others..."

"Then, they would also have access to these realms; allowing them to take any demon out through the Void and unleash them on their enemies—or become its Jinchuuriki, as Madara planned. Or, with enough chakra, they could take out whole armies; forcing hundreds of human minds into the Void where they would never be able to return to their bodies. All that would be left would be soulless bodies; alive, but never to wake again." Kakashi's eyes glazed over with pain; as if he was remembering such an event actually happening. The very idea made him shudder briefly. However, he couldn't help but wonder if what the elder Kakashi had said was true; had that really happened? And if it had...did that mean that the Yamanaka's had betrayed Konoha? And who was this Madara? What could he possibly gain from becoming the jinchuuriki to something like that, and why did the idea of it seem to fill them with dread?

The only response he got to these questions was a pained glance from Future-kun before he said;

"It doesn't matter anymore…because I'll kill him before he can do it this time."

Kyuubi remained expressionless, but he could tell that there was an invisible 'drop it' sign around the subject.

As the teenage Kakashi thought over the Kyuubi and his elder-self's words, something occurred to him. A small pinprick of panic settled in his stomach as he replayed his words; 'they would never be able to return to their bodies.'

"Wait." He said sharply, making both fox and doppelganger look towards him. "If they—the people you were talking about—could never return to their bodies; then how the hell are we going to get out of here?"

Kyuubi said nothing as he instead walked over to sit between the two flames. Past-kun watched the Kyuubi avidly, even knowing that he was probably going to cease to exist outside this place. For some reason, ever since he'd come to this 'Void' or 'Spirits Chasm'—whatever it was called—he just couldn't help but understand that this needed to happen, that it was for the village. He at least felt content knowing that it would still _technically_ be him that would be protecting Konoha; stopping the unfavorable sounding future they were headed towards. His head swam at these thoughts, and he felt his vision blur for a moment before it cleared. Suddenly…he felt very…odd.

Kakashi watched the Kyuubi as well, just as tense to know the answer to that question; having thought of it himself, as soon as the Kyuubi had mentioned being in the Void. He knew that he probably shouldn't trust the Kyuubi as much as he did-considering he ruined his young charges life as well as killed his sensei and hundreds of other innocents—but technically that was all Madara's fault, and…he just couldn't help this feeling that he had everything planed out right from the beginning; that everything would be alright as long as he had the Kyuubi(or whatever it was-because he was pretty sure that he wasn't the _actual_ kyuubi...) to guide him. He felt a little disturbed at the thought of relying on him that much really...

His vision blurred suddenly, but he willed it to go away, and it cleared as suddenly as it came. Huh…that was weird.

"Do you see these flames?" The Kyuubi asked him. Kakashi blinked and stared blankly at him for a moment.

"No, sorry—I was too focused on all the _other_ stuff lying around to notice _those _things."

Kyuubi's response to the slow drawl was to hunch down and growl at him menacingly. "I swear, if you weren't my only hope for Naruto _not_ dying, I would have _killed _you a long time ago!"

"...You can do that? I thought you were only in my mind or something…"

Kyuubi laughed, "Oh, it's _much_ more complicated than that…"

Past Kakashi's eye twitched at their bickering, and he sent them an icy glare. "Could you _please_ stop wasting my time and just get on with it? Even knowing I probably won't exist outside of this place doesn't stop me from wanting to get away from you two as soon as possible..." He looked towards the other Kakashi, a little freaked out that just moments ago he hadn't been able to tell whether he and Kakashi were separate or one person; like he was losing his sense of who was who. "Looking at my own face is really messing with my mind..."

"Well, _technically_ you don't have a mind right now." Kyuubi commented distantly, already walking away from both of them. "Really the only thing even keeping you _thinking _are these flames here-which are fed by _my_ Chakra; so don't piss me off or I'll cut you off and leave you a brain dead vegetable until I'm done getting us out of here."

Both Kakashi's perked up at that, and once again Past-kun felt himself looking out through Kakashi's eyes, "So you have a plan then?"

"Plan!" He barked, "Please! While you two were fiddling around doing _nothing_, _I_ was doing all the work attaching your mind to an actual body. And then of course melding _all three_ of your chakras; including spiritual, meaning your minds. Yeah, I have a plan. I've _had_ a plan for quite some time."

He bared his teeth at them, almost a smug smile if looked at in the right way, "All I needed was the time to get you attatched and, with a little burst of my own chakra, I created a bond between your minds, your chakras, my chakra and your body. Now all we have to do is wait for the right moment and I'll force all of my chakra into Peewee Kakashi's body; taking your minds with me."

'Peewee Kakashi' shuffled as he looked at the Kyuubi in both understanding and apprehension, "so...what will happen to me then, if _he_ is going to take over my body?"

"Well, theoretically your chakra will be absorbed by Kakashi, and your memories will be melded with his—which has already happened—and then you yourself will disappear, since you're really just a past version of Kakashi and therefore are easily integrated...sort of like upgrading to a newer version!

In fact, it's already started happening. Just moments ago your consciousness literally disappeared; which means your minds must finally be done trading memories…"

Kakashi watched as his past-self grew frightened in the face of such daunting words, but he honestly just couldn't find it in himself to care. He was sorry for the man; sorry that he would have to miss out on all the good times he remembered having, sorry that he would be giving up his life, sorry that he probably felt more alone in his duty to the village than he ever had before. However...all he could think about was his friends. All he could care about was the fact that he would see them again. All he could think about was the tight feeling in his chest that was in no way physical, the feeling of being so happy—so full of hope—that he didn't even need a body in order to feel like he was dying from happiness. He couldn't wait to see their faces, to see Naruto, to see Sakura, Sasuke, Asuma, Kurenai, Gai, the Hokage, hell even Anko and Iruka and he'd barely knew them...

"So..." He finally forced out, happy that his voice didn't crack—even though it probably was impossible for it to do that, considering that their very voices were only projections of their inner voice. "When _is_ the right moment?"

The light shimmered over red fur as the giant fox's tails came out of the darkness; sweeping around Past-kun, Kakashi, the flames and himself in one quick movement. Though they couldn't feel it, they did both feel like the tails were not just holding them but their very essence.

"Well, right about now I would say."

Those would be the last words he would hear for quite a while. The pink gums of the nine-tailed demon showed as he grinned and, with a twitch of his tails, both of their flames were snuffed out at once. Kakashi felt himself tense, his mind growing fuzzy and his sight darkened but adjusted enough to see the outline of the red tail around his middle. His thoughts shuttered to a halt, feeling nothing, hearing nothing, and thinking nothing.

And then suddenly-light, confusion, _pain._ He almost wished for the numbing darkness to come back.

* * *

><p>Almost immediately after Kakashi had screamed, and startled everyone within a 20 ft radius of him, at least 3 more medics ran into the room from the hallway; skidding to a halt in front of the screaming man before them. His back arched, the tendons in his neck popping out unnaturally as his teeth gritted; trying to hold back screams of anguish. If she wasn't so confused and horrified, she would have been impressed with his ability to hold in most of it and cover up what must be an immense amount of pain.<p>

The medics stared down at the writhing man in horror and confusion. Just moments ago they had checked him and found nothing wrong, and now...

"It's amazing..." The head medics voice shook as he spoke, "Almost as if all his Chakra lines are being burned and rebuilt..."

The medics ignored him and continued to stare helplessly at the man, watching with an odd fascination as two very distinct Chakras mixed together. They all felt a familiar tingle at the base of their spines at the sight of red malevolent Chakra, but it was gone before they could confirm anything; mixing with its hosts Chakra until you couldn't tell them apart anymore.

Yugao's breathing picked up as she watched. She hadn't just imagined that had she? That chakra that almost anyone over 12 could remember to be terrified of? Was that what the medic had felt in front of the gate? What they had all felt just moments ago?

Kakashi's eyes opened to a squint, only small whimpers being allowed to escape now, and turned his head. His eyes met hers, and she felt herself freeze under his gaze. They were...different than she remembered. Sure, she hadn't known him long, but that didn't mean that she couldn't see the difference between a broken man and a carefully kept together broken man. This man in front of her, for just one moment, had not been able to keep his barriers up with the onslaught of pain on his body; and she hoped that he never let them down again. It sounded horrible but...those eyes would probably be in her nightmares for a good week just from that one brief meeting of eyes. Nightmares that she would one day break under the pressure of being in ANBU too, and that her eyes would become like his.

And she had enough nightmares to keep her awake at night, she didn't need another one. So, mystery forgotten, grumbling citizen forgotten, medics forgotten...she got the hell out of there as fast as possible, and away from those dead eyes that had looked so hopefully at her-pleading with her.

It was only when she was home, curled up on her couch in her purple Snuggie that she thought to herself;

_What the _hell_ just happened?_

_A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAnd we again end with a Yugao POV. So yeah, this chapter was a little more kakashi centered, and didn't really get into any of the other issues at hand, but that'll come later in other chapters._

_Also, I wasn't sure if I was going to put romance in this—since it was mostly going to be my attempt at doing a time travel fic where kakashi is really bad ass. But then I decided that even though the story is going to be more centered around Kakashi's development and healing as well as…other things(gah! Can't say anymore on that or I'll give away too much…) it didn't mean that it couldn't still have an interesting love story in it as well. In the end I came up with this pairing which fits in perfectly with the idea of family/hurt/comfort, AND it's NEVER…EVER been done in a long chapter story before! in fact, there is only one other fic with this pairing that i know about right now, and its a oneshot. So that's a big plus in my book; I'm practically putting my flag in the moon here! :) _

_So, I gave a brief glimpse of who the romantic interest will be; she will be older, she will have dark eyes, and she will be kind. I haven't seen many older-woman-younger-man romances out there that don't end up making the girl look like a total cougar; so this is also my attempt at making a believable older-woman-younger-man story instead of the usual younger-woman-older-man story such as Saku-Kaka, Naru-Kaka and so on…_

_Anyone who guesses who the romance is will be forever in my book of awesomeness and genius; especially since I really didn't give many clues as to who she was—even Kakashi himself doesn't remember!_

_Please Read and Review cus its what makes the updates faster and the author happier. :)thx!_


	5. Act II: Worth it

A/N: Hi! so...been awhile. And I have no excuse for not getting it in on time, either...:(

But anyway, on a happier note, I've decided on what the format will be for this story! It will be in acts, and each act will start with a prologue leading up to the more important part of the act(which will usually have about 4 chapters, all getting consecutively longer as it goes along.) This is the begining of Act 2, so it will be somewhat shorter.

Oh! and yes, my beautiful little readers, you got it right! Mikoto is going to be the love interest, so kudos to you **malakish** and **mangagirl18**! I still cant believe you got it! :P

* * *

><p>It was already morning by the time Yugao fell asleep, and even then her sleep was restless. Already nearing her mid-twenties, she could clearly remember the Kyuubi attack, and had been old enough—even if just barely—to fight in it as well. She usually put it to the back of her mind, almost forgetting about it entirely, but sometimes…sometimes the memories of that attack came back with a vengeance. It was the worst thing she'd ever been through, and even then she'd barely even seen anything from her post in the hospital. She'd only been a Chuunin back then, and had been told to stay off the front lines—they wanted to leave that to the more experienced jounin and anbu—but she'd seen enough of the incoming shinobi to have her share of nightmares…<p>

And it was these nightmares that reminded her of the horror of the Kyuubi, and caused her to realize just what had brought them back. That oppressive and stifling chakra that she'd felt just the day before...it had come from Kakashi, there was no doubt about it. It made her suddenly suspicious and unconsciously fearful of him, something that she'd always secretly harbored for the prodigy, but never this strong. She'd never thought of him as a threat to Konoha before, only ever been wary that he'd break under the pressures of being such a young ANBU captain and do something just as foolish as her uncle had.

But now…now she didn't know what to think…

If there was any chance that he had something to do with the Kyuubi…she had to find out. She sat up from the couch and threw of her snuggie, pacing the rough hewn floor boards of her apartment as her mind turned over scenarios. She stopped as she realized something; if the medics came to the same conclusion that she had, they would have already told the Hokage of what happened by now. All witnesses were probably already being paid off and/or being threatened into not saying anything, as was normal procedure during what was undoubtedly now a cover up operation. It was a good thing no one knew she was there, or they may have tried to bribe her as well—which would have only ended in a demotion when she said no—but, she didn't think that Mr. Shifty medic would tell the Hokage about her…though even if he did it wouldn't be so bad. Then she wouldn't even have to search for the news, it would come straight to her…though she still didn't want to get demoted, so a disguise would probably be the best line of action right now.

She sat up, shaking off the chakra deep feeling of weariness that always comes with a fitful night of sleep. She stripped from her anbu clothes—having been in a daze after she returned from the hospital—and changed into something that she only ever wore when she went to visit her uncle; civilian clothes. Her face was set in a smirk, but her eyes were determined as she tucked her hair up into a washed out blue hanckerchief and pulled an apron on over her cloth dress.

It really wasn't a great plan, but it was plan nevertheless, and she'd take anything she could get. In the end it might backfire on her but…if she wanted information on this, the only way she was going to find it was if it was coming right to her. It would be a hopeless endeavor to go after something that was being covered up, she herself knew that this was true, and wouldn't even attempt to try and find clues that the Hokage and anbu didn't want found. In many cases this was a _very_ good thing to fall back on for a ninja, but today she almost resented the Hokages need to keep the public naïve and in the dark about something like this. They deserved to know if their lives were once again being endangered by the Kyuubi!

She sighed, _Then again…that might just cause mass panic; just like when those idiots told the village about the kid—N something? Naru? Naruko? Something like that…_

So maybe she wouldn't say anything about the Kyuubi…but she could still let some of the less important information get out; just enough to interest the public and bring whoever is covering this all up directly to her. With this in her mind, Yugao grabbed a bunch of old trinkets and cosmetics she never used anymore and hurried out of her apartment, disguising her chakra as much as she could and keeping her weapons hidden from any suspicious eyes. With a mat fastened to her back and a bag full of pretty things; she would, to any eye not too observant, look like nothing more than a harmless peddler selling her trinkets in the market place for a low price.

She smirked as she settled down near the edge of the market, next to her an old woman selling handmade baskets smiled. She turned to the old woman, starting up a friendly conversation about how she was new to this area—she just moved here from the northern part of the city; but after the passing of her grandfather, well…she had no reason to continue living near the hospital anymore. I mean, who would want to constantly see shinobi being brought in to the hospital all beat up? It was amazing really how many famous ninja she'd seen in her time there…

"Oh?" the woman smiled, interest piqued, "I've always loved stories about shinobi…"

Time to start some rumors…

* * *

><p>For the citizens of Konoha, the shinobi life was always at their doorsteps…and at the same time they were a world away. They saw the shinobi as warriors of high praise, as glorious protectors whose lives were filled with adventure and mystery; in short, they saw them as their favorite novel. Always near enough to read a bit of it when they were bored, but never close enough to actually live it.<p>

It was the perfect relationship, for if they realized the truth behind much of the ninja world they lived beside…they wouldn't be so quick to welcome them home. It was better that they were left in the dark when it came to the true extents that the shinobi took to keep them and their beloved village safe. In fact, this praise and the villager's misconceptions of their life as a glorious affair into the dangerous and exciting was the only thing that kept many ninja sane. In the darkness of night, it was the only thing that kept some of the self-hatred down after a particularly hard mission, and the only thing that kept the smiles, the drinks and the friendships going. Without the village, there would be nothing to protect, nothing to live for, and nothing to come back to.

If there was one downside to this hero worship…it was the rumors. The rumors about their love lives, their inter-clan drama, their heritage, lack of heritage, status to the village…even their missions…

"_Did you see that? It's that traitor's son, the Hatake."_

Most despised this fact about shinobi life and therefore didn't go out of their way to create trouble in the eyes of the public. Instead, the more popular among the rumors were just the younger, more naïve shinobi, out to get their five minutes of fame through debauchery and boasting. Of course most knew they only did this because they weren't skilled enough to gain it from skill alone, and the stories were abandoned as quickly as they were heard. However, these weren't always the only thing gossiped about in the sewing circle, as the attention only turned to the lesser shinobi's happenings when something truly exceptional and gossip worthy didn't come along. Something like that usually wasn't a very good thing either, as most of the presumed 'juicy' gossip topics were about the ruin of marriages or corruption in the ranks. It was unfortunate but, the villagers had found what they were always looking for, so there would be no 35-year-old-genin-who-still-lived-with-his-mother soaking up the feeling of being famous around the village for quite some time.

No, something else had gained the public's attention for the past three days...

"WHAAAAT? WHATS THAT YOU SO YOUTHFULLY SAID JUST NOW?" strong hands gripped the villagers jacket, nearly lifting him from the ground, "My dear citizen, SAY SUCH THINGS ARE NOT THE TRUTH!"

"eh? Uh, well um…"

"QUICKLY CITIZEN, WASTING TIME IS UNYOUTHFULL!"

"W-well…" The frightened citizen laughed nervously, inching backwards out from the grip of the notorious green beast of Konoha.

"T-The rumors are tha' the famous prodigy, Hatake, was brought into the hospital las' wee—" Gai's face screwed up in both anger and sorrow, interrupting the man with a burst of youthful emotion,

"NOOOOOO!" Gai reared back, striking a pose in despair as he cried rivers, "My Eternal Rival! I should have been on that mission with you; HOW COULD I HAVE ALLOWED ANYONE ELSE TO DEFEAT YOU BESIDES MYSELF!"

"u-uh…well he wasn' exactly—"

"How unyouthfull of me; taking a separate mission from yours and loosing valuable time to challenge you…" Gai looked upwards towards the heavens, "HOW CAN I FACE MY ETERNAL RIVAL WITHOUT REPENTING FOR MY ACTIONS!"

"um, wait, Shinobi-san will you jus' liste—"

"NO, DEAR CITIZEN, you must not try to stop me!" Gripping his hands into fists, Gai looked off into the sunset that had magically appeared—despite it only being 1 o'clock in the afternoon—with a look of determination. The dumbfounded man beside him was successfully ignored, "I MUST DO 500 LAPS AROUND KONOHA TO REPENT FOR BEING SO UNYOUTHFULL! YOSH!"

They blinked and, with a blur, he was gone. Shaking his head the man looked to his companion, who he'd been gossiping with earlier before the odd, green clad ninja had disturbed them. He shrugged his shoulders, somewhat amused about the whole thing, and eager to tell all his friends that he'd actually met, and spoken to a real jounin. His companion was not as amused and looked rather more distured, but found he didn't really care if the man jumped to his own conclusions or not.

"Yeesh, that crazy guy…if he'd a jus' listen'd to me I would've told him tha' Hatake-san wasn' even really injured!"

His friend shrugged, still eyeing where the green ninja had been moments before. Unlike his companion, he had no interest in shinobi; not that he didn't respect what they did for his village, he just had a healthy amount of fear for them as well. Especially that creepy one with the caterpillar eyebrows they'd just run into. He shivered, "Who cares, I'm sure he'll figure it out. Though who knows wha's really going on; they cover up all that ninja stuff so well, it's amazing that this much even go' OUT to the publ—Wha'?"

He turned to look at his friend, who'd abruptly stopped walking and was staring off into the distance lurking just beyond his friend's range of vision. "Did you see that?" his friend caught up with him, still looking off into the distance. He shook his head, looking at him oddly.

"Hm, well, I thought I jus' saw tha' Kyuubi bra' hangin' round up there…" His friend shifted nervously,

"You're sure it wasn't another one of those crazy spandex ninja right?"

* * *

><p>Naruto ducked out of sight, holding his breath as he hoped and hoped that the villager wouldn't come over to the bushes to inspect further. He could still hear them walking away now, laughing and joking about some 'spandex ninja'—probably that loud one from earlier who talked funny. Thistles jabbed painfully into the soft flesh of his hands, as unprotected against the cold fall winds as the rest of him was, and he had to suppress the girly sounding scream he had been about to make, before he gave away his location. Then, after ensuring the coast was clear, Naruto jumped out and started running back to the orphanage. Dressed only in some too-big cargo pants and a ratty black shirt, the wind blew right through him, raising goose-bumps in their wake. But despite being freezing, his hands stinging, and the ache in his empty stomach; nothing could tear the smile away from his face. As soon as he was out of the bush's he'd plastered it on, and not a fake one either, a full blown smile—the first one he could ever remember having, outside seeing the old man anyway.<p>

He'd been following this rumor for about three days now, after hearing some of the old ladies in the orphanage talking about it. He'd listened as they filled in the new attendant, who was much younger than them and didn't know the whole story, about the 'mysterious Copy-Cat ninja' who never took of his mask. They told stories (no doubt exaggerated ones) of his genius, and how he was shaming all the noble clan' heirs into hiding their faces by rising through the ranks quicker than anyone ever had before. He was a prodigy.

"_To think! A child of some traitor ninja, outsmarting and outranking such clans as Hyuuga and even Sharingan…I never knew he was so amazing! No wonder so many seem to respect him…"_

"_Yes, well, he certainly had a lot to make up for, I'm sure it wasn't easy. What with how disgraced he was by his father's actions; most would never even think to become a shinobi, they'd just be opening themselves to a life full of mockery. I myself am guilty of some of it, and have said my fair share of wicked things about him, and regret doing so now only years later…I didn't want to admit it but…he has indeed gained mys respect. I would even go so far as to say his contributions to this village may someday far outweigh his father's actions, and bring back Honor to the Hatake name…"_

"_What things you say sometimes, Shiari! I didn't think I had to remind you that his father was also a genius, and you know I've always believed that such week character runs in the blood. He'll do the same thing I tell you, contribution to the village or not, he's no different than his father!"_

The other woman hadn't responded after that, but even Naruto's young eyes could see that she disagreed with her longtime friend and co-owner, and it sprouted hope in his mind. It amazed him that such a person could exist; someone who had, or was, overcoming a whole village's hatred for him and gaining their respect. Naruto had always dreamed of things like that, dreamt of a time when the villagers would respect him and take back their cruel words. It gave him a fluttery feeling in his chest, made him want to jump up and down and smile so big that his half his face seemed to be pure teeth. It gave him a reason to ignore the glares for a while, and took away some of the edge from the lonely nights curled up in the broom closet.

Hope. Hope is what made him want to meet this person, who seemed to share having been hated by an entire village, and who overcame the odds despite it.

With this thought in his mind, Naruto began his search for the mysterious idol he'd heard so much, yet so little, about. He considered it as ninja training sometimes, when it became almost unbearable to listen to 'what stitch was best for making mittens' any longer; which (almost) always kept him alert on their conversations. He'd squatted under windows, hid in dumpsters, pretended to be a bush, hid in a bush, and of course disguised himself as part of a fence (using crafty ninja skills his new idol no doubt used as well). And though sometimes he'd had cats thrown at him, gotten chased away by broom waving mothers, or even gotten a beating when found…it had all been worth it; because it proved to himself what he had known all along…

…that he'd make the best ninja ever; he'd be even better than the Hokage! And then everyone would respect him, just like that Hatake guy.

Naruto grinned widely at the thought as he started towards the Konoha General Hospital, the image of everyone smiling at him burned into his mind and fast becoming his dream. A dream made all the more attainable by the stories of his allusive idol and, if he had anything to do with it, his soon to be sensei.

* * *

><p>An illusive shadow. Flickering on the edge of your vision, skittering around like magpies in the summer; there one second, fading into the dark the next. That's how the ANBU worked, and she should know by now; she'd been one of them for months now. She stopped as another shadow crept in and out of her peripheral vision, but she did not look at it. Instead, she just stayed where she was, waiting patiently for them to make their move, waiting for them to (<em>finally!) <em>fall into the palm of her hand.

_Thwump…Thwump..._

Cool metal pressed into the flesh of her neck, just above the cloth edge of her choker. She smirked, well aware they could see it, and not caring one bit. All according to plan.

"Took you long enough, gentlemen." She said, raising her hands slowly above her head. She wasn't here to fight. "I was just about ready to request an audience with the Hokage himself."

The kunai neither moved any closer or farther away, but even a slight shift was enough to allow a small trickle of blood to flow down the pale expanse of her throat. She swallowed thickly, but glanced behind her shoulder slowly anyway. "That is, if the Hokage even knows about this…"

A masked face cocked slightly to the side, determining what to say that was within the parameters of his mission. He murmured lowly, "The Hokage is well aware of the incident involving ANBU captain Hatake Kakashi. We are not Root."

Yugao's shoulders relaxed minutely, but not entirely. Just because they weren't Root now, didn't mean that there wouldn't be any later. It wasn't a well-known fact, but enough ANBU had come across Root members in the past that they at least carried a 'stay-out-of-their-business' reputation. Any who had, would inevitably go missing; their death covered up with a MIA or KIA tag. She just hoped that her meddling wouldn't also lead to her death; her uncle would never forgive her if she got killed just for sticking her nose in where it didn't belong…

But she had to know. Never again would she be the cowardly chuunin hiding in the corner of the ER, waiting for it all to be over. Never again would she run away from her problems, from the Kyuubi or otherwise, and she would not let them defeat her. She would fight for her village, for her citizens, even if it meant the death of her once ANBU captain.

"What exactly does this 'incident' mean? I know what I saw back then, but what I don't know is what you're doing about it. If it was what I think it was…"

"I don't have access to that information," the kunai edged closer, "and neither should you."

A sudden movement caught her eye, but she forced herself not to tense up as the other ANBU withdrew from his shadowy hiding place and into the moonlight. A gloved hand grabbed both of hers, snapping glowing chakra suppressing cuffs around her wrists. Yugao glanced down at them distastefully, but dared not move with the kunai so close to her throat. She barely dared to breathe.

"I'm convinced we've found the one we were looking for." The one behind her said, never easing up on the kunai. "But she's obviously not a civilian like we first thought. More likely she's a new ANBU recruit, considering I don't recognize her."

His partner grabbed the Kunai from her throat, and closed the steady bleed of her neck wound quickly and without word. The other continued talking, despite the blatant disapproval radiating from his partner.

"Must be some worthy information, considering she pretended to be some stall vender for three days just to get us to take her in for it…even the Hokage too seemed especially nervous to say _anything_ on the subject—"

"_Mouse!_ Shut. Up. Now." Each syllable was ground out painstakingly.

"A good ANBU _says_ nothing. A good ANBU _remembers_ nothing. A good ANBU _is_ nothing. " Yugao smirked as she whispered it, and turned to address the ANBU behind her. "I may be _new_, but even _I_ know that."

Neither of the ANBU said anything to her, mouse apparently taking her advice, and instead began forming lightning fast seals. In moments the nighttime backdrop of the Konoha streets disappeared, only to be replaced with the washed out walls of the Hokage's office. Her breath stuck in her throat with surprise, and her whole body froze.

This was it. This was when she finally found out if all her effort, all that waiting, had been for nothing. She knew what she had felt, and it chilled her to the bones to think that it was back; especially in the form of someone she respected. She had been so sure up until now, so sure of what to do in order to get whoever was covering this up to find her. And she had done it, found who had covered it up, and had been right in her deduction that it was the Hokage himself. Now what? Now what were they going to do with this information? What if she…didn't agree with the decision?

She knew herself better than anyone, and knew that if anything she was stubborn and stuck to her sense of what was right. if they wanted her to cover this up…she knew that she might just say no. She didn't know a lot of things right now, but most of all, the question she wanted answered the most; was it worth it?

_But she had to know. Never again would she be the cowardly chuunin hiding in the corner of the ER, waiting for it all to be over. Never again would she run away from her problems, from the Kyuubi or otherwise, and she would not let them defeat her. She would fight for her village, for her citizens, even if it meant the death of her once ANBU captain…_

…Yes, she decided, it _was _worth it.

* * *

><p>AN: Well, thats it, short chapter I know...

but! next time...

_Blinding light, blinding pain. His whole body felt heavy, lathargic and achey...but somehow new. His fingertips twitched with agitation, cramping almost as badly as his calf muscles as they suddenly came alive. He tensed, finding himself unconciously moving into a ball, curling around himself as the sheets around him stuck to his sweat slick body. Unwittingly, a small noise made its way out and though he immediatly silenced it, he wasn't fast enough._

_"K-Kakashi?"_

_Asuma..._

_The bittersweet smell of smoke filled his nose, and his eyes teared up. He tried to convince himself that if was from the sting of the smoke, but couldn't quite force himself to. He was so tired, so tired of fooling himself, that he just couldn't do it anymore. He was too tired._

_So tired..._

_"KAKASHI!"_


	6. A Little Bit O'Luck

_A/N:_ Hey! wanted to get this up before the holidays started, but couldn't make it. :( srry, too much stress right before christmas. but! I've got it up now, and I hope you all like it. I think it turned out pretty well, if i do say so myself! :)

anyways...happy belated holidays!

* * *

><p><em>Beep…<em>

_Beep…_

_Beep…_

In the stifling silence, it was the only sound to reverberate off the walls. That horrible sound, so high in its pitch and so grating on the nerves…it was enough to make a man scream. That is, if the man in question isn't already so preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice it.

_Beep…_

_Beep…_

_Blip…_

Even the stutter of that sound didn't perturb the man residing there, hands clasped and elbows on his knees, face hidden from others as well as his thoughts were. He'd heard it many times already, and wasn't as inclined to hope as easily as he had been at the beginning of this dreadful week of his. At first, he hadn't been like this, he'd been stronger than this, sure in the knowledge that Kakashi wasn't harmed physically and would be alright by the next morning. How naïve he was to believe what those deceitful nurses had told him, when it was so obvious that he was _not_ alright. Perhaps it was all mental? He'd often wondered, tortured, himself with thoughts and scenarios of what _could_ have happened…and none of them were pretty. It was just all the more unfortunate that, in his line of work, he had plenty of detail to add to these often horrific events that would play out in his mind—so much so that, staring so often as he did at the face lying before him, many of them had haunted his dreams and become almost real to him in his less wakeful moments. He had not had a restful week.

"Sir…"

Dark eyes opened, but only briefly. Only a nurse.

"Sir, please, you've been here all day…you should go home and get some rest—visiting hours are almost over."

A sigh and long blank look at his friend—lying there, helpless; a tortured face filled a thousand scenarios—and finally rose to his feet. He didn't even glance at the nurse. He wanted out of here. That was not his friend there, motionless, his face so peaceful…no, Kakashi was nowhere in that room and he wouldn't be until he woke his damn ass up, looked him in the eye, and gave that goddamn cocky smile of his. And once he did wake up, he was getting the beating of his life for making him worry so damn much. Stupid, selfish, reckless, lovable IDIOT of a ninja…

Kami…he'd been so worried he hadn't even gone out for cigarettes! Great, now he had to add withdrawal symptoms to the growing list of fatalities to his hoped for 'laid back vacation filled with doing nothing but smoke, drink and play shoji'

_Oh, Kakashi, you BETTER hope you don't wake up until I have a cigarette in my mouth…_

The elevator stopped haltingly, but he kept his balance, and he was quickly out of the small enclosed box of death that smelt like someone who loved febreeze had tried to cover up the fact that old people often released their bladders here, but sadly only succeeded in making it even more nauseating. Glad to be rid of the place, he glanced around for the gift shop he'd seen somewhere around on this floor, hoping to score some cigarettes of the flirty cashier there—hopefully for free, considering he had no money right now; and unfortunate result of staying vigil at your friends bed for nearly three days in a row. Honestly, he felt like his mother; worrying constantly, wondering what could have happened to him, making up all sorts of crazy scenarios that only made his worry worse…

Ok, first chance he got, he was moving out of his mother's house.

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

In a sea of pain, in the darkness, he wished for the Void again. He wanted nothingness, he wanted peace, but he knew he wouldn't get it, and even if he was offered; he wouldn't accept it. He had something to do first, something to change, and if all of this pain he'd gone through, all of these mind games and torture were just trials…then he would overcome them. He had come this far already, and was almost there, right on the cusp of light and a world untouched yet by the despair and ruin Konoha would, hopefully never have to face.

He could feel things changing already, just by him lying here in this darkness. He wasn't even conscious yet, and things were already starting, already changing. Now all he had to do was wake up, face that light and that pain…he wouldn't want to miss all the action now would he?

But…it was definitely daunting. All that work; well, to borrow a saying from a certain lazy ass…it would be troublesome. But it would be worth it, he was sure, if only to make sure he saw those smiling faces again. He'd never realized how attached he'd gotten to his little dysfunctional team of his, until it fell apart before his eyes and was lost. A new vigor touched his mind, and without realizing it he began reaching out of that darkness of pain filled sleep and into that bright pain filled wakefulness. A steady sound rose towards him, a disquieting sound that permeated his whole being, a sound that he had forgotten, and a sound he could _feel_…

_Beep…_

_Beep…_

_Beep…_

…_the sound of his heart._

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

Having been there many times himself, Gai knew the way to the hospital almost by heart, but had seemingly forgotten. He'd passed it almost five times now, each time barely giving it a glance before hurrying on his way. It was un-youthful to be so wary to enter, but he just couldn't bring himself to burst through those doors and see his rival so vulnerable and…unrival-like. He was oddly disturbed by this whole thing, but still felt the need to enter and see for himself if it was really true; despite the fact that it would be much easier to just ignore this rumor and pass it off as nonsense until it went away. But we all know that Gai would never do something like that, as it was much too cowardly and un-youthful to ignore something just because it doesn't please him to accept it.

He let out a sigh and turned away, about to take another walk around the block to clear his head, when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. A flurry of yellow, just barely above knee high, skidded past him towards the clear glass doors of the hospital. He followed the movement to find a child scurrying away from him, tripping over too large pants and swimming a shirt so big it could probably fit a boy three times his age. He only needed a glance to know who it was, and he immediately worried for the boy. Going into a hospital, alone and unprotected, where every one of the staff had probably seen a dozen people die underneath their scalpel, despite all attempts to save them? Where was his ANBU guard? Why was he even going in there in the first place?

Before he even realized it, he was following the kid into the hospital. He had no personal grudge against him, unlike many others in the village, never having been one to follow the grain of how society thought. It'd only been three, wait four, years now since the attack…not nearly enough time for the wounds to heal over completely, though he had his doubts that many of them ever would heal; and if they did it was always a possibility that they would continue to hate him anyway…

"Hi!" the kid said, valiantly trying to get the receptionist attention from his low height, "Hey! Hellooooo!"

He pouted as the girl glared at him, and Gai could see her hand inching towards the security button on the plastic phone towards the side of the desk. He frowned.

"WHY, HELLO THERE! Would you perhaps be trying to get this young flowers attention, little boy?" Gai gave a booming laugh as his heavy hand nearly dwarfed Naruto's head, "HOW YOUTHFUL OF YOU! To try so hard despite knowing your small stature will prevent her from seeing you!"

"Umm….wha?" Naruto gave him an odd look as he tried to fix his now thoroughly messed hair. Gai only gave him a winning smile, before he pushed him behind his legs, and out of the scornful eye of the hawkish receptionist.

He then looked towards her, smiling, but eyes serious, "I'd like to youthfully ask the room number of one Hatake Kakashi, please!"

She leaned forward, snarling at him, "What are you doing? You're obviously a shinobi, so you can't be dumb. Don't you know _what he is_?"

Slowly, his smile fell away, and he too leaned forward. All pretenses dropped, she wilted under his stare and leaned back, surprised at the sudden change.

"Yes, I do know _what he is_, but do you?" her hands shook as they inched back towards the security button, but his eyes saw the movement. His hand shot out and grabbed hers before it even reached the half way mark, "Because all I see is a four year old child."

Then, his dry hard grip on her hand tightened and he leaned close and whispered, "You know that I'm a shinobi, yet you say something like that to me? If you say one more word about what you _think_ he is, I'll have you arrested for breaking the law."

Terrified, she snatched her throbbing hand back as soon as he released it, shivering as that hard face gave her a charming smile once more. "Ha-Ha...Oh, and I'll need that room number by the way!"

She jumped, looked at something behind her desk then said quietly with a bow, "R-room 227, shinobi-san."

Gai thanked her and left, dragging a confused Naruto behind him, and she didn't even dare look at their backs.

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

After being dragged behind the strange man for a few minutes, they finally came to a stop in a strange box. Confused, Naruto looked around, wondering why they'd entered such a strange place. His eyes nearly bugged out of their skull when they started their jerky climb upwards. THE BOX WAS MOVING!

"WHOA THERE!" Gai said as he grabbed Naruto's arm before he was nearly thrown across the elevator. Seeing his expression of shock and awe, he gave a great booming laugh and lifted the boy onto his hip. "Never been on an elevator I take it?"

Naruto shook his head, looking uneasily at the strange spandex man, specifically at his eyebrows. It was odd, he couldn't stop looking at them…it was like they were hypnotizing him or something…

"So quiet…" Gai pondered out loud, "I suppose you must be speechless in the presence of such a magnificent example of youthfulness such as me!"

As they stepped off the elevator, now called 'weird moving box' in Naruto's mind, not yet having the faculties to understand that it was an 'elevator', he squirmed in Gai's arms. He was unused to being touched so much, and had never been picked up like that, nor been around someone so nice to him outside of the old man. He was instantly distrustful of the green man. Finally, having squirmed enough, Gai set him down in the hall way watching at the little boy skittered away from him with fearful eyes.

"Who…who are you? Why are you so…?" Suddenly, he seemed to realize something, and the fear made way for interest and excitement, "You were asking for that guy's room right? Do you know him? Are you his friend? Can you take me to him?"

"That guy's room…?" He smiled as he realized, "Ah! Yes, you mean my rival Kakashi! Is that why you were here?"

Naruto nodded enthusiastically, bouncing now on the balls of his feet in anticipation. Gai looked thoughtfully at him now, "And…why would you want to meet someone like him?"

Suddenly shy, Naruto looked down at his feet and murmured so low that Gai had to crouch down to his level in order to hear him,

"'cus…'cus he's like me. Everyone hated him, but…but they don't now and I…I want…I want that too!"

Gai looked at him with sad eyes, seeing the determination there, his blue eyes bright and fierce in the dying light streaming in through the windows of the hallway. He could see flickering shadows there too, playing over his face in time with the overgrown branches taping the window. In that moment, even young as he was, he looked exactly like his father.

With a sudden break of the silence, Gai looked towards the heavens, crying waterfall tears and cried, "SO YOUTHFULL!"

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

After flirting with the cashier girl, getting her number and taking a smoke break outside the hospital for ten minutes or so, Asuma decided it was time to head back up and say his goodbyes before heading home. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in a few days, and he really wanted to hit the bar before his next mission tomorrow. He'd been hoping that Kakashi would wake up before that, but luck just wasn't on his side lately. He exited the elevator, and realized something; if Kakashi woke up while he was on this mission, then he wouldn't be the first one to punch him in the face for making him worry! Suddenly, a cry to his left interrupted this chain of thought, and shocked him into spitting out his cigarette.

"SO YOUTHFULL!"

"GAI!"

Damn, luck was _really_ not on his side today...

"ASUMA! MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND! How wonderful it is to see you here!" Gai turned away from…whoever it was he'd been talking too, and focused his attention now on Asuma instead, "Wait. Don't you have a mission tomorrow? And you've been here all week too? OH! THE BEAUTY OF FRIENDSHIP BLOOMS BEFORE MY EYES IN YOU ASUMA! HOW VERY YOUTH—"

Asuma ignored him, letting him continue his tirade but successfully blocking out his voice—as he'd done many times—and peered around him at their small, blonde, slightly frightened visitor.

"And who…are you?" he enquired with a gentle smile. Asuma was startled when the kids face suddenly split in half with the biggest, widest, shit eating grin he'd ever seen.

"Naruto Uzumaki! Future Hokage! Believe it!"

Asuma reeled back on his haunches, surprised, before letting out a deep harsh laugh, so startled by his response he couldn't even save his newly lit cigarette from falling to the ground again. Naruto stared at him in confusion at first, but immediately after began to grow successively more and more angry with each passing second. What, this guy didn't believe him? He'd become Hokage for sure, and prove him—prove everyone—how stupid they were for not sucking up to him while they still could!

"H-Hey! What are you laughing at you—you NINCOMPOOP!"

This of course only made Asuma's laughter worst…

"YOU THINK I CANT DO IT? I'll show you! I'm already SUPER strong!" And with that declaration of strength, little Naruto gave a puny war cry charged forward, fist in tow…and promptly tripped on his pants, sending him tumbling towards the floor. (Not that it was very far away mind you, considering how short he was…)

Luckily, instead of finding himself in a world of pain on the floor, he found himself caught at the last second, strong hands gripping him under his arms. He was lifted up then, his feet off the floor, and he wiggled violently in surprise—the musty smell of cigarettes permeated those arms, and Naruto's sensitive nose twitched in response, though he held back his gag. Asuma planted him back on his feet, going to ruffle the kid's hair, but was instead dodged by a still pouting Naruto.

"Ha-ha, alright kid, that was some impressive display of strength!" he was rewarded for that response with a kick in the shin, "Oooh! Wow, alright I believe you, I believe you! But…how did you get in here? I wouldn't think the receptionist would let you past the main lobby…"

"He's with me Asuma-san," Gai announced brightly from behind him, he gave him a significant look as he added; "He says he's here to see Kakashi."

"Kakashi?"Asuma looked up from his crouch in surprise, slowly rising now. Naruto waited impatiently from the sidelines.

"He's apparently the kid's idol!" Gai looked off into the distance wistfully, rubbing his chin absentmindedly, "Oh, to be young again. I remember my first role model…it's a shame that this poor kid chose so unwisely! Perhaps now that he's seen a ninja _truly_ worthy of being his role model, he shall come to his senses and change his mind!"

Asuma looked towards the kid, "Don't ever let him be your role model." Naruto nodded seriously.

"WHAAAT? ASUMA-SAN, YOU ARE DEPRIVING THIS YOUNG SOUL OF MY YOUTHFUL—"

"Yeah, Yeah…hey kid, you wanted to see Kakashi right? Then let's go, I've got to leave soon and I'm not gonna let you stay in this hospital alone." He gave a weary glance at all the staff giving the group dirty looks. He knew that they wouldn't do anything while shinobi such as him and Gai were around, but as soon as they left…

"REALLY? You'll really bring me to him? I'll get to meet him?"

"Yeah, kid. Except, don't expect much, he's…sleeping at the moment. He probably won't wake up for a while…"

"Awwww…" He pouted for a moment—a look Asuma was quickly becoming accustomed too—but perked up, as if a thought had suddenly occurred to him, "That's okay! Because I'll come back tomorrow too! And the next day, and the next and the next and the day after that and—"

Asuma clamped his hand over the kid's mouth, "Geez, can't anybody just shut up around here? It's bad enough _Gai_ showed up…"

"EEEEEHH? ASUMA-SAN, WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Blinding light, blinding pain. His whole body felt heavy, lethargic and achy...but somehow new. His fingertips twitched with agitation, cramping almost as badly as his calf muscles as they suddenly came alive. He tensed, finding himself unconsciously moving into a ball, curling around himself as the sheets around him stuck to his sweat slick body. Unwittingly, a small noise made its way out and though he immediately silenced it, he wasn't fast enough._

_"K-Kakashi?"_

_Asuma..._

_The bittersweet smell of smoke filled his nose, and his eyes teared up. He tried to convince himself that if was from the sting of the smoke, but couldn't quite force himself to. He was so tired, so tired of fooling himself, that he just couldn't do it anymore. He was too tired._

_So tired..._

_"KAKASHI!"_

"_He's flat lining! NURSE, GET THE PADDLES READY!"_

_A doctor? Where…was he again?_

"_HEY! Get that kid out of here, or I'll have him forcibly removed damnitt!"_

"_Gai! Take Naruto out of here, he doesn't need to see this…"_

_Nar…uto…_

_What…what was he doing! Was he dying? After all this? Oh, Hell no, over my dead body will I die! Uh…Wait, that doesn't make sense…._

"_He's…he's coming through! Amazing!"_

_it didn't matter if he was tired, it didn't matter, because he had wake up…he had to see those faces, make sure they were all real, all still alive…he had to save them…_

_Naruto…Sakura…Sasuke…I'll protect you this time—I promise._

…_just…let me take a little nap first…_

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

Asuma exited the hospital room, exhausted but relieved. He'd barely breathed in there, thinking that he'd lose another friend, and this time to something he had no chance of stopping. He'd felt so _powerless…_but he shouldn't have felt that way, he understood that now—he should have realized that Kakashi would never die to something like that, he should have had more faith in him. In fact, the only way that he'd probably _ever_ die would be doing some stupid heroic self-sacrificing thing for a teammate…and only in battle, he wouldn't be surprised if Kakashi would kill himself before dying old and weak in a hospital bed—not that he believed _either_ of them would get that old…

No, Kakashi was too strong willed to die to something like this…and as long as he kept telling himself that, Asuma believed he might stop worrying about him every time he left the hospital, and be able to focus on his own life; like his upcoming mission, that hot new Chuunin Kurenai...or maybe the brat in front of him, looking like he was about to cry…oh geez.

"Uh…yeah, he's okay…no need to cry." He coughed uncomfortably, visibly relaxing when the kid reined the waterworks back up underneath his eyelids.

Gai, though, was not so easily convinced. He glanced slowly between him and the door—silently asking if Asuma was just lying so the kid would feel better. Asuma shook his head at the unasked question, and elaborated,

"The doctor said he should be up by tomorrow at the latest, but I'm going to stay here just in case he wakes up before visiting hours end. You should head home Gai, and maybe you could take the kid home too? Much appreciated…" Then, with a sigh, and an exhausted heave of his shoulder, Asuma reluctantly headed back into the room without another word.

He of course hated being such a good friend, especially at that moment when all he wanted to do was go home and relax with a bottle of sake and a cigarette but…the mother hen in him had finally decided to show itself again, as it always did with Kakashi. There was just something about him, that made him want to knock him over the head and mother him at the same time; it's probably because he gets in ridiculous situations such as these that he always feels the need to keep a watchful eye on him so much damnitt! Honestly, if Kakashi would just be a _little _less reckless—well, a lot less reckless really—then his life would be _so _much more interesting. Just think of all the women he could be getting if he wasn't constantly watching over this idiot!

Kami, he was so unlucky...

* * *

><p>AN: aaaaaand...the end! of this chapter anyways! now...time to sleep this poor over worked brain of mine...


	7. Awakening

A/N; k all done; read now slaves! XD

OOoOoOoOoOo

A small, hunched figure adorned the cold door stop of the orphanage; an old squat building with few windows and even fewer welcoming faces peering from them. It wasn't raining, but a quiet drizzle dampened everything in the cool moist evening air. The bright twinkle of the sky faded into existence with the sudden absence of the last rays of warmth, and soon only the wide face of the moon served to give him any light in the dark of midnight. Yet, despite the late hour, he knew the matrons of the small orphanage would be up—watching, waiting, for him to finally leave their doorstop.

Eventually, tiring from their midnight vigil, they would retreat back and fall into beds more soft and inviting than the steps Naruto would dream lightly on—as he did every night it seemed. Come morning, they'd sniff in disdain and disgust at his persistence, finding him still curled up at their feet. Wet, and smelling of dirt, Naruto would awaken only to a jab at his side—knocking him out of the way of the leaving matrons—before jumping up and rushing into the relative warmth of the foyer. The other children were steered clear of him as he skipped to the kitchen for the leftovers of the morning meal.

He sat and ignored it all, grinning a wide fake smile over his breakfast.

/

A gasp burst from dry chapped lips, free from the usual black mask that they were so used to. Cool air swept across his face like a mother's touch, and already his sweat slicked forehead was drying under its soft caress. Hands shaking as they leapt jerkily into his hair; a mess or tangled sweaty locks matted to his forehead and shining dully in the moonlight cascading in from the hospitals side window. The image of a cold, small Naruto—_so damn small—_huddled on the steps of an unwelcoming home, would not leave his mind. It was burning there, in his sleep fogged confused brain, and he struggled with what he knew to be real and what he still questioned as illusion.

_A vast open space, the rubble of his home scattered beneath his feet. His mind in shambles, fire licked at the wind beside him, eyes staring with a malicious mirth hot as coal and piercing as steel. Those red eyes—fire dancing—that red blood, those dead eyes, the hot taste of bile and prickling tears; he couldn't breathe. He couldn't think, he couldn't move…he didn't want too. The shambles, the ruin, it was all him; all around him—fire dancing—those eyes…Madara._

_Loathing. . He hated him, hated everything—that fire, those eyes—hot and cold, his skin puckered under that gaze…a war cry; his throat raw, torn, like his mind. _

_Madara. Failed. Mistake. Uchiha. Hate. Loathing. Hate. Those damn…those damned eyes. Hate…HATE. HATE!_

"Naruto!"

…_dead. Dead eyes. Blue, so blue, turned as red—red as that blood—hard as that man dead in the valley created from hatred and lust and greed…a demon, wearing his students face…_

"Nonononono…"

_The rubble, the ruins—of his life, of his friends—weighed on him, and finally crushed him. His lungs slowly crushed and filled up with blood; his death was sure, an ironic death that made his heart ache more than his lungs, the thought of Obito—those red eyes, those dead eyes…but there was hope. He took that hand there, in front of him, a clawed blood soaked hand that was as precariously good and hopeful as the thread that held his mind together. He could do this, he would do it a thousand times over—for those eyes, those eyes that stared and burned and crushed his heart from his chest. _

_He could save them._

Breathing hard, his stomach churned forcefully and he bit his lip as those eyes came back with startling clarity and emotions following them. He promptly turned to the side and released his hold over his stomach, emptying its contents all over the marbled floor beside his hospital bed. Tears bit his eyes, but only his shaking shoulders belayed his sobbing as not a sound passed his lips, and not a tear fell from those confused eyes. His shaking fingers pulled hard at his hair, pulling the strands down for inspection by wet terrified eyes. Silver. Silver like a blade, twisting in the night and glinting at the necks of dead men…covered in blood, his hands holding that sword, his hands holding the strands of silver. He remembered his name; Kakashi. Hatake Kakashi—and other names, so many names came to him, warbled and distant before but startlingly clear now. His hands were shaking and the sheets tore at his grip, his eyes were blank as he looked around. Hospital. Konoha.

Where was the ruin? Where was the shambles, the rubble_…?_

Where were those _eyes?_

"Kakashi! I heard a scream—" the door slammed, but he didn't turn to it; he was frozen, frozen by that voice. His hands shook, but he didn't cry, only felt increasingly sick as his stomach lurched uncontrollably. "Whoa, whoa, calm down Kakashi, the heart monitor will blow up!"

The attempt at humor was ignored, and fell flat even to its attempter. Kakashi couldn't look—he couldn't look up and see those eyes so dead and blank; eyes that had been dead even before Madara attacked…he heaved again, and warm arms surrounded his shoulders and kept him from falling off the side into his own bile. Spit ran down his chin, face open and haunted and gaunt without his mask—and the sight of it made Asuma's stomach churl as well. All his worrying, all his mothering, came back to him now—those millions of scenarios raced in his head as he looked down at the shaking form of his friend, and his throat tingled and closed up as he finally met his eyes. Those dark, mismatched eyes, shocked and terrified, filled with a misery ten times what he was used to reading there…he looked away with stuttered breath and gripped the trembling shoulders closer to him. Swallowing carefully, he looked down again, and was almost relieved when he found Kakashi's eyes closed; clenched as tightly as his fists were.

"Kakashi…" His voice was shaky even to his ears, and it only made Kakashi clench his fists tighter, blood seeped from his hands and Asuma grabbed them to force his hands to loosen. He looked at the crescent wounds quickly but didn't press the call button for the nurse; Kakashi wouldn't want anyone seeing him like this. He felt that even he shouldn't be seeing this—no one should ever see so deeply into another's soul—but felt honored that he would allow him here to help him; even if he wasn't entirely in his right mind right now.

"…Alright now?" He asked softly, he felt his head nod against his shoulder, eyes down turned. Neither moved, Asuma not knowing what to do but seeing him there, so slumped and defeated looking, he found that he wanted to do something…something completely unmanly and which at any other time would cause him to fear a knife at his throat if he attempted it; he wanted to hug him. Kakashi gave a shuddering breath, and when Asuma shifted he caught a glance on wet cheeks and realized the shoulder of his shirt was damp; he froze even further. He barely dared to breathe. His brows gathered together in horror and confusion, realizing; Kakashi was _crying…_and he'd never seen him so much as get _blurry_ eyed (not since Rin's death, and even then it could have been a trick of the light) Even silent and still as it was, that was definitely tears he'd glanced at, and he swallowed hard angerand a million other emotions and thoughts ran through his mind; like whoever had caused his friend to be in this state was going to be in a _shit load_ of pain, perhaps castrated or even just sledgehammered to death…

The thoughts calmed him enough, and he finally did raise his other arm and wrap it around Kakashi's stiff unmoving shoulders. He pulled him tight against his chest—in a manly way of course—and felt Kakashi go even stiffer. They'd been through a lot, death and darkness and things rarely whispered of even while drunker than shit…but despite all the times Asuma had…gotten teary eyed (_sobbed like a little girl_) Kakashi had never cried in front of him, or allowed him to comfort him as his silent listening had done for Asuma many times. He felt that if there was ever a time to even the score one, then this would definitely be the time to do it.

"What happened, Kakashi?"

Kakashi stared at the dark fabric of Asuma's shirt, even darker with the few tears he couldn't control; even now they were falling, silently and unstoppable, he would hate his lack of control later. For now though, all he could think of was those dead eyes and the memory of all that red, red blood brighter in his mind than any of the many he'd killed in his long career. Brighter because they were friends, comrades, _his precious people…_

His arms hung limply at his sides but, as warm comforting arms encircled him tighter, he slowly raised them up as well to lightly grip the stretchy fabric of the shirt. It felt rough on his calloused fingers, every touch, every feeling intensified and new now in this second chance; this new life of his that would change everything.

He'd felt so dead for so long, had been without a body for only half that time, and now he was alive…and so were those eyes, his precious peoples bright eyes. He took another shaky breath, tears slowing but now ones of hope and a desperate—_please, please let it be real. This is real, kami please let it be real…—_he felt reality finally settle somewhat in his tumultuous mind.

"…Alive." His throat was dry and lips parched, "Asuma, you were all dead…dead, dead eyes…"

Whispered, just barely loud enough to here over the beat of the heart monitor, but Asuma heard it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Kakashi knew that he shouldn't be saying this, but he was just so…so happy, so relieved. He couldn't stop himself from gripping his nails deep into the skin of Asuma's arm.

"Ow! What the hell—" Kakashi laughed quietly, and then louder as he saw blood seep from the crescent shaped marks; identical to his own wounds, set deep in the palms of his hands.

"Alive…"

The whispered word was so filled with wonderment, so much disbelief and…just a torrent of emotions that it left Asuma speechless. He'd never even known the teenage _could_ put so much emotion into anything; he'd always been so laid back, so calm…he was none of that now.

_Alive…_

So many things were said in that one word, things that gave Asuma a dreaded knot in his stomach from worry and apprehension. However, knowing Kakashi as long as he had, he'd often felt this way around the young ANBU captain, so it wasn't so surprising just...slightly terrifying. He never knew what to expect when this feeling came, but it was never, _never_, anything good…

Nevertheless he held him, understanding the need—for someone to just _be there—_and he listened. Listened to him mutter that word. _Alive. _Over and over, whispering it with such fervor he seemed to be praying. The knot intensified.

Fear grew from that knot, from that pit in his stomach that never foretold good tidings. This was not the friend he remembered having late night sake drinks with, or the friend who glared and showed up two hours late to their chess games—but always showed up—this man was different somehow. Older. It'd been a long time since he'd seen him, almost five months, but…his eyes were so…so much _more_ than they'd been. Filled with things that Asuma didn't dare look too deep at or think too hard on, dark dreams that edged on every shinobi's subconscious; a nightmare of all their loved ones dead, alone and without a purpose, without a home, without any life left in them…

'They'd all been dead' he'd said, so…some kind of genjutsu? No…no, Kakashi had the sharingan…it was impossible. His only explanation would be torture. Horrible mind bending torture that twisted his mind, torture that made him think and see things that weren't there; whatever the interrogator wanted him to think.

Asuma pulled him back to look at him, even though his eyes were distanced from him. "…Who did this Kakashi?" He barely kept his anger from the question, allowing it to become an almost growl in his chest. He felt powerless, here in this small hospital room holding a friend he'd die for, hoping beyond hope that he hadn't lost the last member of Team 7 to insanity…because there was nothing he could do for him. Except be here, and hopefully kill that _fucking twisted bastard_ who'd pushed the strongest man he knew to become this…

Seemingly looking around at anything and everything, he looked like a new born baby testing out his flesh and blood, amazed at the world and its wonders. When Kakashi finally settled on Asuma he stared so hard that the man had to look away from those piercing eyes.

He repeated the question more forcibly this time, but Kakashi only answered with a distracted, "Did what?"

Asuma didn't want to say it. He didn't want to admit to what he was contemplating, and skittered around saying it directly even knowing it was only for his own selfish comfort.

"Who did this…made you think this? That we were all dead."

Finally Kakashi focused, and a small smile played at his lips as he realized what conclusion Asuma had come to from his vague words. He was suddenly very tired, emotionally and physically, overcome by his sudden consciousness in the _real_ world with a _real_ body. Naruto wasn't dead, Asuma wasn't dead; no one was. He could save them...please let him save them. He barely managed to stare up at his friend and give him a smirk, trying for normal but failing without the safety of his mask to conceal his most basic emotions.

"Top secret, Asuma. Hokage only info."

Then, pushing gently away from the—manly—embrace, he lay back down and closed his eyes; he hadn't even realized he'd had both open.

Asuma sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed, exasperated but not wanting to push; just frustrated that he couldn't _do_ anything. He didn't want Kakashi to end up like her…like Rin. He stared, hoping for something else and briefly wondered if Kakashi had fallen asleep. He rolled his eyes, it would be just like him to leave him hanging here and then fall asleep like that; even despite how worried he'd been and how much he'd freaked him out with that little episode…

He sighed, glancing with worry at the mop of silver hanging just above the blankets, before getting up and deciding to head home. _Kami, I need another smoke; I swear I'll have emphysema if that idiot doesn't stops worrying me so much…_No use staying here now that he'd woken up, he'd come back in the morning; maybe he could even get out of his mission; he really didn't think he should be alone right now…

"Oh, and Asuma?" He jumped at the sound, hand almost touching the doors handle, and turned towards him with surprise. "Get a nurse in here, it smells like puke."

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was warm in the Hokage's office, and Yugao yearned to take a kunai to the neck of her sweater and tear the arms off. Her arms stayed securely behind her back, cuffed and watched by the two ANBU who'd brought her here.

Across from her, the Hokage, eyes shrouded and mouth serious; but she felt his eyes on her anyway and felt trapped by them in the suffocating air of the office. Finally, unable to stand the silence, she spoke and called out to the hokage. His head raised, his shadowed brow appearing from under the visage of his hat, and she found that she liked it better when she couldn't see his eyes.

She mustered her courage, looking into the eyes of the most important man in Konoha, "I came for answers—"

"No." he looked on without any change in his expression, "You came because I brought you here."

She lowered her eyes at that, staring down at feet still clad in the flats she'd chosen specifically to complete her villager costume. She knew he was right, but why bring her here if not to answer her questions? Was he going to…silence her? Fear struck her and her head whipped up at him, hoping to find the genial grandfatherly man she'd come to know as her hokage. What exactly had she stumbled upon in that hospital room to cause such a kind man to look at her now with such a face?

"ANBU, leave us." No hesitancy, no questions, they left her to her fate. The Hokage looked down at his desk, a folder open before him, "Yugao Uzuki, fresh out of training…a new recruit, the niece of the previous ANBU captain Hinunaro Kamata, but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary."

She flinched at the mention of her uncle, and he watched it with narrowed eyes. "Kakashi was the one who brought your uncles actions out into the open wasn't he?"

"Yes." She replied evenly, "but I have nothing against him, hokage-sama, what he did was the right thing to do. I'm here because of other reasons."

"And what reasons would those be?"

She let out a breath, exasperated and confused at his avoidance of the matters at hand. He had to know; otherwise he wouldn't have brought her here right? "Hokage-sama, I saw him or…I felt him really. That day in the hospital, I felt…it. That chakra, the _kyuubi, _I don't understand why it was there, but understand your secrecy; I wanted to make sure however that you were the one doing this, that's why I…" She gestured to her civilian clothes.

"I see." He nodded then, and closed her folder slowly, and she wondered—when had this become an interrogation? And why her, shouldn't they be investigating Kakashi?

"I want to help." She said quickly. Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes, "I _need_ to help, Hokage-sama."

Feeling his eyes on her, she looked up, and they locked on each other; him looking deep into her, trying to determine _something,_ and her trying to show him she was ready for this; to finally _help_ her village instead of being stuck here doing paper work.

A flicker entered those eyes, and some of the tension retreated from his face, some of the old hokage shining through at her.

"And you will." He smiled at her surprise, "But not yet. Your mission debriefing will be tomorrow at 0600 hours—"

A knock interrupted him, gentle but enough to get his attention. He called out his approval to come in, and a secretary bowed her head low to him as she entered. "Hokage-sama. Asuma-san has requested your audience regarding his scheduled mission—"

"Ah!" he let out a chuckle, and the secretary looked up in confusion; as did Yugao when he turned to her, "Looks like your mission debriefing will be sooner than suspected. Your partner seems to already be here."

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

A/N: so, that's it! ;) wasn't sure if I made Kakashi too grief stricken and confused or not; I thought that now that hes in his actual body he'd be extremely discoordinated and confused. I want to become a better writer, so opinions are appreciated as much as reviews XD

Preview: _Kakashi grasped the smaller hand before him, looking down at the blue depths that brought back so many horrible memories; but gave him so much hope as well. He turned, taking a deep breath, and pulled him along away from the crowd of people spilling from the orphanage. A million eyes stared at their retreating backs, but the only ones that mattered to him were the two staring up at him with admiration, trust, and blinding hope._


	8. Distortion

A/N: Sorry for the wait! I had to stop and remember where I was going with this fic…but I've got it now…mostly.

This one's a bit text heavy, but bear with me please!

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

It'd been two days since Kakashi had seen Asuma. Only hours since he'd been released from the hospital…and now, finally, he stood at the door to an apartment that felt years away from him. Whether it was years in the future, or in the past, he wasn't sure, but he was sure he didn't want to open the door to either reality.

He leaned his head on the worn wood of the door. He hadn't stopped walking since his release, and still he felt so disconnected from everything. He had so many memories of this place, they seemed to all jumble together in his mind, and he could not make sense of it. Just today, he'd walked to that grassy hill he'd known so well and stared down at a stone that had held every name of everyone he'd loved…and then he'd realized that most names were missing. He'd felt, for just a moment…just one brief startling moment, he'd felt such rage at whoever had dared to erase their names…

But then, they hadn't been erased. They just hadn't died yet.

And they never would.

He grabbed the handle, the cool feel of metal on his hand grounding him, and he walked into a room that held a million memories, a million realities. He hoped that he could change that, that he could replace the jumbled mess of past and future in his mind with new ones, and focus on one thing; the present.

He opened the door quickly, and strode in without hesitation. He let the door close loudly behind him, and felt oddly shut in. There was no escape from the reality this room held, but then why would he want to escape it? It was irrational. An irrational fear that was born of confusion and borderline insanity…but this wasn't the closest he'd been to that edge. No, He gave a laugh, No, I went over that edge long before the war was even half way through…and it was Naruto that pulled me back up onto it, by the end...

Looking around, not much really changed in this place. He didn't really change. He had always been much too terrified without his routine, without his mask and uniform to pull up over himself…he had been stuck. Stuck in a costume and parading around trying to make others, and himself, believe there was nothing but the mask. And eventually, if he hadn't had his precious people as Naruto called them…eventually—eventually he had no doubt there wouldn't have been a man to hide under that mask. There would've been nothing.

He really didn't like change. So he stuck to his routines and his masks and his boring plain apartment…but he kept that picture, that one right above his bed, to remind him of the man under that mask. People, his precious people, had loved that man under the mask, and he'd be damned if he became something that changed that.

He sat down on that bed, stared at that picture of his old team, and looked to the place beside it that held the picture of his new team. But it wasn't there…it wasn't there yet, but it would be. And when it was, he'd make sure it didn't become the symbol—the reminder— of shame and of guilt that it had been.

He lay down, staring up at a blank ceiling, seeing a half-finished painting that was just waiting to be painted over with a brighter, better picture.

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

The next day, Kakashi found himself waking in a cold sweat. A dream. It was just a dream…but it was an odd one.

He could still see blue eyes staring blankly down the street, his lips pulled decisively downwards and shoulders slumped. He headed towards those steps, away from the frying pan still hot from dinner preparations, and steeled himself for a long night of fitful turning and shivering…

_Naruto…_

He'd awoken the same way, with the same dream every morning since his 'arrival' here.

It had been three days now since he'd last seen Asuma.

He pulled himself up, getting ready for the day ahead of him, pulling up his mask and sliding on armor he hadn't worn in over ten years…and yet he had just worn it last week hadn't he? No, wait, that hadn't been…maybe it was yesterday he wore it? He couldn't remember…

Aaaahh, my head hurts dammit…get ahold of yourself Kakashi.

His legs took him out of his apartment, without him even consciously realizing it, and he knew himself to be heading towards ANBU headquarters deep under the cliff that held the faces of their Hokages. The cliff seemed glaringly small when he saw it, and his eyes kept straying to the blank cliff-side, waiting for Tsunades face to suddenly appear…or for the whole thing to become nothing but a pile of rubble. He hoped one day that he would live to see Naruto's face there. During the war, they had not had the resources or time to spare on such things—there hadn't even been a ceremony.

He hadn't understood why Naruto had seemed so happy when the citizens began calling him Hokage…

"_There's barely anything left of Konoha, and its people are living in slums…and yet you still want to be Hokage of something like that?"_

_Naruto had laughed and shook his head, "Kakashi, it's not the mountain I want my face on, or an office in the tower or even a mansion! What I want—what I've always wanted—was only to be respected and loved by these people…to be recognized as Naruto Uzamaki, not that damn Fox…_

…_So, as long as there are people left in Konoha…then I will be honored to be their Hokage, and do my best to live up to that title. Believe it!" _

His footsteps barely made a sound in the hallway he crept down, and one part of him marveled at how his bones didn't ache with each step as he felt they should have. He still felt old, even in this young body. Even with this new life.

He stopped in the middle of a large arched doorway, leading into an open sort of room that served as the waiting area for ANBU returning from missions ready to hand in mission reports and such. The missions that were classified or otherwise known only to the Hokage were of course brought directly to his office for personal detailing's, but not every ANBU could personally see the Hokage. More often than not, only the ANBU captains would speak to him, and their subordinates would often go off on smaller missions and report back here to give their report to their respective captains. It was also where they would pick up their rewards—always under the counter as to keep any records of the ANBU to a minimum—and train with their team. So, Kakashi was here a lot, almost as much as he was in the Hokages office.

A few nodded towards his direction when he entered, a few he recognized a few he didn't. Everyone knew of him here, and most respected him even if they did hate him—for his quick rise among the ranks if nothing else—which Kakashi was used to. He didn't care though if they hated him, he knew that it would never come to much and they would keep their distance and glower and whisper just as people had always done. They wouldn't dare challenge him; no one other than Gai had ever done so and afterwards…well…he hadn't been dead anyways…

Although that was back then; later, when he too would join the ANBU, their fights would often end in ties settled by rock-paper-scissors. He looked around quickly, just to be sure his thoughts hadn't summoned his old rival to him, and breathed a sigh of relief when he was nowhere in sight. He'd always had that uncanny ability to just appear whe—

A hand suddenly planted itself on his shoulder.

Acting on instinct, Kakashi grabbed the wrist and twisted until the perpetrator let out a brief girlish cry. Wait…girlish? Since when had Gai ever sounded—even for an instant—unmanly?

He let go immediately before he broke the wrist of this girlish Gai, and turned to see that he hadn't been wrong; Gai was there, but beside him—holding her wrist gingerly—was someone else entirely.

"KAKASHI! HOW UNYOUTHFUL OF YOU TO HURT SUCH A DELICATE FLOWER SUCH AS THIIIIIISS!"

_Ah. I never thought I'd say this…but I actually missed Gai's annoying bellowing and challenges…_ He suddenly had the urge to hug that fuzzy browed idiot.

"First time you see me in…" he quickly reached into his mind and pulled out how long he'd been gone, "…Five months, and you're not even challenging me yet? I'm surprised Gai...you must have gotten lazy in my absence."

"YOU DARE CALL ME LAZY IN FRONT OF A LADY?" He could literally see Gai's face going red. "SUCH ACCUSATIONS CAN ONLY BE MET BY A CHALLENGE TO PROVE MY YOUTHFULLNESS!"

Kakashi snorted. Then laughed. Then had to turn away and place a hand on the wall to brace himself as his whole body bent in on itself with laughter. He hadn't known how much he'd missed this…even when he'd died he hadn't realized the magnitude of what he was losing—no. no, he really couldn't go there. That had been a bad day, a very bad day that he could not remember if he ever wanted to look at Gai again without hugging him…and he would never hear the end of it if he did that. There would be much teasing and jabbing and…well, it would not be pleasant for him.

He composed himself enough to turn around again, but even his mask couldn't hide his happiness. Gai was disturbingly silent, and seemingly speechless for once at such an open display of emotion from his usually 'hip and cool' rival. Gai stared at him with such shock at the display that he nearly had to turn around again and grab his sides, so instead he turned away from him to look at the girl beside him with interest.

"And who is this Lady that I have not met as of yet?"

The girl gave him an odd look—perhaps even a little hurt—before informing him of her name. Yugao. It sounded familiar to him, but he couldn't quite place it in his mind. She was not a slight woman, that was for sure, and she had the ANBU insignia displayed clearly on her shoulder that still had that shiny brand new look to the black ink. She was also much older than him, in her mid-twenties at least, and had shoulder length…purple? Violet? He wasn't sure what exactly to call it, but it was definitely out of the ordinary as far as hair colors go…it reminded him of Sakura suddenly, and he had to focus hard to keep the pain out of his eyes when he looked at her again a moment later.

"We've met before, you know…"

"Yes, you seem very familiar, but…" he searched his brain, trying to focus on her face, on her name…"Ah! I remember now! Yugao Hisao, you were engaged to Hayate right?"

He realized his mistake as soon as the words were out of him mouth.

"Hayate? I—I'm not engaged to that-that playboy!" Yugao blushed pure scarlet, and then gave him a look as if he'd grown a second head, "And I never have been, so what's with the past tense?"

Kakashi scratched the back of his head nervously and rolled his one uncovered eye up towards the ceiling, "Aha, that hasn't happened yet has it?" He gave her a lazy smile, "My mistake."

And then, before she could ask 'what the hell does that mean?' he was rushing into the office he stood in front of, hoping they would be gone by the time he came out.

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

It had been two days since he'd spoken to the Hokage, and he really wasn't looking forward to when he would speak to him again.

He'd always been extremely loyal to his village, and especially to his Hokage but…now, he actually found himself questioning his own orders for the first time. Kakashi would never—_never_—betray them, he was even more loyal than Asuma…he'd obviously picked something up from those nindogs of his, because he had always been annoyingly faithful and loyal—often to a fault. He couldn't even fathom the thought of Kakashi being a liability. There were always shinobi returning from missions who had been tortured, mentally and physically, and many of them had indeed broken under it but…but never Kakashi. He would never give up information about Konoha, and he would never allow himself to be indoctrinated either! He knew Kakashi had a strong mind, not just from watching his will and focus while training, but also from the rare talks he had with his friend in the dead of night after a particularly harrowing mission. He'd never break down, never cry…he'd just grip his glass strong enough to break it, and pull his mask up a little further.

Of course…he supposed that might mean that Kakashi was actually much more fragile than he wanted others to see. He never _dealt_ with things, that idiot…

And that night just a few days ago…well, he'd never seen Kakashi like that. He didn't want to believe it but…perhaps the Hokage was right? Perhaps Kakashi finally had cracked?

A mask could only cover so much, and once someone found where fabric met flesh, they could tear it off in a heartbeat.

He didn't really know what to think anymore…he could tell that Kakashi was hiding something from him, but that wasn't anything different from the usual—the idiot had always kept to himself, and dealt with his problems on his own (or not dealt at all and just pushed it out of the way more than likely)…and that woman too, she was hiding something. Something the Hokage didn't want him to know maybe?

He wasn't sure of anything…and so after their little meeting—when he'd been assigned to basically spy on his best friend—Asuma had taken a page from said best friends book and…basically decided to ignore the problem for now until he could get his balance in this shit hole of a situation. Oh, but he wasn't entirely ignoring it; he'd found Yugao suspicious from the beginning and had taken measures to ensure that she was watched…by the most inconspicuous person he could find too.

And that person would be one loud, obnoxious, bowl-cut, spandex loving Maito Gai.

Who better to be a spy than the person who was worst at it?

Exactly. Yugao wouldn't suspect him for a second.

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

It had been ten minutes since Kakashi had slipped up.

He knew it wasn't really that bad of a screw up—he could always just say that he was playing matchmaker of course—but it worried him. He'd seen the look on Yugao's face when he'd commented on her relationship with Hayate and knew she hadn't taken it for anything more than him being, well…Kakashi. Anytime he was seen outside of missions it was always with his precious Icha Icha book, and if she was in ANBU—which he knew for sure now, though Gai wasn't yet so it was odd to see him there…—she would've seen him training the new recruits with it in hand as well. He hoped that this would be enough to convince her he was just having perverted fantasies about her and Hayate together or something…not that he'd ever actually had them…

However, despite his reasoning, he didn't really feel quite up to talking to her and Gai—he didn't want to risk messing up his 'Times' again, especially with Gai out there with her…he'd be sure to notice right away. He didn't seem like it but…Gai was actually quite perceptive when he needed to be. It made him quite the spy, considering that nobody would ever expect him to be one with his flamboyant spandex and leg warmers.

Although, now that he thought about it, Gai might _not _notice. Back then—or now actually—he and Gai had been more 'I-MUST-BEAT-YOU-INTO-DA-GROUUUND!' rivals than the 'I-know-you're-blaming-yourself-so-I-SHALL-DESTRACT-YOU-WITH-MY-AMAZINGLY-GOOD-LOOKS-AND-CHALLENGE-YOU-TO-ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS!' rivals they'd been in the future. He had seemed shocked at Kakashi's sudden outburst of laughter at him, and he knew that was mainly because when he was this age—which he believed to be 16?—he'd still been a bit of an insufferable prick to Gai. Sure he'd ignored him quite a lot in the future, but there had been that undertone of friendship; and of course he'd found himself sitting and drinking and reminiscing with him more and more as the years went on, never speaking much but always listening…he'd even let Gai win a few of their challenges—even enjoying them sometimes—though he'd never admit it to him…

But back then—now, then, whatever—he'd only considered Gai a nuisance. Remembering how he'd treated Gai when he was younger—or really how he had treated everyone—made him want to kick himself. He'd been so annoyingly _selfish_ back then. He'd always kept to himself, tried to push everyone around him away…it was why he'd stayed in ANBU longer than most others; he hadn't wanted to train a team of bratty genins. He hadn't wanted to get attached…and then lose them.

Which he had.

This time, he would be a better friend—to Asuma, to Gai, hell maybe he would even make friends with iruka or Anko. (Though, that was unlikely considering he didn't have a penchant for snakes or getting chained to his bed while she tries to pull his mask down…which had happened once.) Yes, he'd be a better friend this time around…

…but he'd start that tomorrow. Right now he was much too confused to be making friends with anybody. He needed to sort things out in his head…he couldn't risk letting something much bigger slip; next time it might not be something as small as Yugao's marital status.

So with that thought, he walked past the openly staring secretary (that had given him his pay check) and carefully opened the door just a crack, narrowing his one revealed eye as he peeked around the doors edge. If the secretary found this odd she didn't say so—though, really she probably didn't; she dealt with shinobi all day so she was more than likely used to such things—and even if she had, Kakashi wouldn't have cared. There was no way he was going out the front door—Gai and Yugao were still there.

Besides, wasn't teleportation just so much cooler than walking out the front door? (despite the fact that the doorway was a hidden entrance to an underground office for the supposedly secret ANBU—but who nearly every shinobi and civilian in Konoha knew about…)

With a swirl of leaves, he left behind Yugao, Gai and a confused secretary, reappearing in the streets of Konoha right at the base of the Hokage mountain. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his most beloved possession; his beautiful little orange book…Icha Icha Paradise. _Aaah, the classics_. He actually hadn't read this Icha Icha novel in quite a while; it was one of the first he'd ever bought…such a shame he would have to wait _years_ before Jiraiya would come out with a book he _hadn't _read. Which he would; Kakashi intended to make sure he wrote a brand new novel that even in the future he hadn't written; otherwise he may very well go insane…

He kept to the shadows of the early dawn—as he was still in his ANBU uniform—and made his way to the Hokage's tower, already going through his memory bank for appropriate information he would need to give an accurate report. Although…he'd have to embellish a bit on certain parts in order to give himself a valid excuse for his 'breakdown' as Asuma had put it. The Hokage would no doubt order a psych evaluation as well, so he'd really need to get his story straight before then. In fact, it really wasn't the best idea to go immediately to the Hokage like this. Despite having already been a day since his release, he could put off his report for a while longer; at least until later in the afternoon. Besides…it would be suspicious if he showed up on time. And the Hokage understood that he needed to get things in order after five months away on a mission, if the few weeks leave he'd been given were any indication. Which he was thankful for—mostly because it gave him a few weeks to recover and get his head screwed back on straight. His arrival here did seem to be perfect; the mission, the time off…he belatedly admitted that if anything, the Kyuubi _did_ have good timing.

It was odd though; he hadn't heard a peep from the demon since he woke up…maybe he could only speak to him when meditating? Naruto _had_ said something along those—!

Kakashi skidded to an abrupt halt. From his rooftop crouch, he could see a blond head of hair…a huddled figure on the steps of an aging orphanage he'd seen every night in his dreams for the past three days, and which had haunted his every waking hour. His jaw clenched and the roofing he'd been clutching broke under his grip. It was Naruto sleeping there, shivering on the cold steps as the dawn began to slowly warm them. He could see through the windows of the small building, into the joint room that held the other children; all sleeping comfortably in their beds too.

He swung down, not caring if any civilians saw him with his ANBU mask and uniform on. Most knew he was an ANBU captain anyways—the gossip mongers that they were—despite the Hokages want for their identities to be kept secret. As he walked from the narrow alley he'd landed in, he saw many of the citizens beginning to start their day; sweeping their own child-free steps, or heading out to the market, or even just bringing their kids to school—most of them not to the academy either, considering this was a predominantly civilian part of the neighborhood. A few stopped and stared as he passed, and almost every one of the house-wives or step-sweepers gazed with open awe at the rare sight of such an infamous shinobi walking among them. He was sure they'd heard their fair share of stories about him—through their widespread knitting circles no doubt—but he paid no attention to them.

He continued walking towards the steps, his one dark eye trained on the huddled figure intensely…before a quick motion from behind the boy brought his gaze upwards to the door. A broom struck out, knocking into the back of the defenseless child who cried out and arched with the impact. Every muscle in his body tensed at the cruel display and, with a growing anger, he turned an icy glare at the old women that appeared from the building.

"Get the hell off our steps brat! How many times do I have to kick you out of here before you stay out!" the broom struck down again and Naruto curled in on himself, "This is the last time I tell you, you demonic little—"

Suddenly cut off, the old women found the broom gone from her hands and pain blossoming from her throat. "—Aagggh!"

Kakashi appeared in front the old hag faster than the naked eye could follow, the broom taken from her and pushed up against her throat; forcing her back into the closed door. Gasping raggedly, her gnarled hands clawed desperately at the immovable hands that held the broom suffocating her. Her knees went weak at the vast amount of killer intent pulsating through the air, thickening it until she literally couldn't move a muscle in her fear for her life.

She looked up into the eye of a killer.

His visible eye was so old and hard and full of hatred for her that even if she had looked away and seen the young lithe man—practically still a boy in her eyes—she wouldn't have believed it. And to the surrounding neighbors and civilians crowding outside their homes…his youth did nothing to lessen their fear of him.

Their stories were _nothing_ when compared to the real thing.

"Say another word…and I'll make sure you have to breathe through a tube for the rest of your pathetic miserable life." The voice sent shivers down her spine, delivered in such a flat cold monotone that contrasted frighteningly against the fiery anger in his stare. She stopped breathing entirely under that gaze, her chest constricting so much she was shaking with oxygen deprivation.

"And if you ever even _think_ of touching him again…" He pressed harder on her throat until she choked, "…I'll _kill_ you. Do you understand?"

Despite her fear, she managed to look over to the shaking boy on her steps. The pressure loosened just slightly on her throat and she could tell the man was about to back away…but the images of her dead son, her grandson, her husband crossed through her mind as she looked at the boy and…and she felt enough anger and disgust at the creature that for one moment it outweighed her fear. Her next words slipped out before she could stop them.

"Why would I ever want to touch that filthy evil piece of—"

The pressure returned full force on her throat quickly and suddenly, and her eyes widened as her fear returned full force. She felt such complete and utter fear as she faced her mortality and it only grew as the seconds ticked by and she still couldn't breathe, couldn't move, and couldn't see anything but white dots dancing over the face of her soon to be killer.

"Wrong answer."

Her old withered hands fell to her sides, no longer clawing uselessly at the gloved hands that sought to kill her, and as her eyes began to roll back into her head...all she could think of was what the neighbors would think. Killed in front of her orphanage by some demon loving shinobi that she had just weeks ago said would bring back honor to the Hatake name…her friend had been right. _He's no different than his father!_

"…ait! Wait, STOP! Don't kill her, please!"

Kakashi faltered at the cry, and stepped back away from the old women in shock. He looked down to where small hands grasped at his pant leg, and then over to the now collapsed and gasping old hag at his feet. A purple bruise had already began to form at her throat, and he felt a little too satisfied to see it.

"…Why are you stopping me?" He kept his eyes locked on the coughing sputtering pathetic excuse for a human being before him. He was too afraid to look at Naruto and see fear there in his eyes…

"Just don't…don't kill her. Please…"

Kakashi swallowed thickly. Even after everything she'd put him through…and still he saved her life?

In that moment he could almost—_almost_—understand Sasuke's reasoning for wanting to destroy Konoha; this village didn't deserve someone like Naruto caring for them…

He dropped the broom beside her head, and smiled a little when she flinched away from it and huddled in the stoop of the doorway; it was ironic how similar her position was now to that of what Narutos had been. He felt a little better about not killing her when he saw that.

He knew he should feel ashamed for his lack of control but…all he could think of was everything Naruto had sacrificed for this village, and it made him so _angry_…he felt no remorse.

Later he would realize just how frightening that was.

Finally, Kakashi looked towards Naruto. And he was right; he was afraid, but it didn't seem to be _of _him…it almost seemed that he was afraid _for _him.

Kakashi grasped the smaller hand before him, looking down at the blue depths that brought back so many horrible memories; but gave him so much hope as well. He turned, taking a deep breath, and pulled him along away from the crowd of people spilling from the orphanage. A million eyes stared at their retreating backs, but the only ones that mattered to him were the two staring up at him with admiration, trust, and blinding hope.

OOoOoOoOoOoOo

A/N: Thnks for reading folks! Oh, and if you like Lord of the Rings; check out my new fic _Finding Fire _and review, because no one else has yet. :)


	9. Act III: A Life Worth Living

A/N: Ladies and gentlemen good evening! I hope you enjoy the story I've prepared for you, and don't forget the dessert that's at the bottom; a little preview for all of you of the next chapter. :)

Hehe, is it bad that I'm actually proud of myself for updating this no more than a month after the last chapter?

Yay! I can't wait to see what you guys (srry girls too!) think of this chapter. I don't think that any of you have figured the Kyuubi mystery out yet, but I don't know maybe I'm wrong. Here's to hoping that this chapter is surprising for everybody! :3

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><p>When Obito had died, Kakashi clearly remembered the weeks that followed.<p>

Numb with guilt and sitting in a hospital bed with plenty of time to think on it, he'd had only one visitor; one constant companion in that room and the only one of his team that had come to visit him…though it hadn't been Rin. No, Rin wouldn't be able to look at him for months after Obito's death, and even when she did it was always with a clear favoring of his right side and an uneasy avoidance of his left.

He would always remember that one day…remember how alone he had felt until Minato-sensei had shown up at the foot of his bed, and how disappointed he'd felt when Rin hadn't.

"_Sensei…why are you still here?"_

"…_Because you need me here."_

_It was silent for a moment, but Kakashi had no intention of denying the words. _

"_If…If I said I needed Rin here too, do you think she would come?"_

_Both their voices were hoarse. They hadn't spoken in days, hadn't done anything except think and stare and cry at everything they could've done better._

"_Kakashi…" He swallowed heavily and blinked to get his emotions under control, to be as strong as he could for the fragile boy laying defeated there in front of him, "…give her time."_

_From his place beside the bed Minato saw him turn on his side, turning away from him as he nodded in agreement. He saw the slight shaking of his shoulders under the thin blanket and heard the soft gasping sounds he was trying so hard to hide. He saw everything he wouldn't show and heard everything he wouldn't say._

_His hand fell to that shaking shoulder, feeling heavy with shared grief but grounding all the same. He turned him over, and Kakashi let him pull him forward into his arms; let him see him without his mask…a face no one had seen since his father's death._

"…_You're strong Kakashi. The strongest I've ever met…stronger than myself if I'm completely honest…" Kakashi hid his face further into his sensei's shoulder, and wanted to say that he had never felt so weak. "But just because you can shoulder this without breaking doesn't mean you should. I'm here. I'm here so, let me help you shoulder this. Just this once let someone else help you."_

_He tried to pull away a little, to get a look into that unmasked face, but Kakashi wouldn't allow it. He felt too vulnerable like this already. Minato closed his eyes in pain and swallowed hard, rasping out to him, "You need to let this out Kakashi. TALK to me."_

_He was met with silence for several moments, and Minato wished more than anything that he knew how he could help his student. The Yellow Flash of Konoha, the one who Iwa had a 'flee on sight' order on, the future HOKAGE for kami's sake…and he had no answer on how to get over death._

"_Just say something…please, Kakashi just…tell me how to _help_ you."_

_Then, so softly he almost missed it…_

"…_Why?" A hand clenched on his sensei's familiar white jacket, "Why don't you…get _angry_? Punch me, hate me, tell me it's my fault. Tell me I should've gotten there sooner! I was so stupid…so stupid I didn't even see it until it was too late…"_

"_It wasn't your fault Kakashi."_

"_Yes—!"_

"_NO. No, I was the leader of that mission. I was responsible…It was no one's fault but my own."_

_Kakashi was silent again as he could tell that his sensei couldn't be argued with…He pulled away then, but didn't meet the man's eyes as he nodded in acquiesce. He didn't need to though; Minato knew he didn't believe him._

_He lifted his students chin, his other hand still on his shoulder. "Don't let this consume you Kakashi. Don't let Obito's death be yours too…"_

"_I would _never_ kill myself…"_

"_I know that…but I didn't mean it the way you thought I did." He smiled sadly down into the one un-bandaged dark eye flashing up at him angrily, and reached forward to touch his other bandaged one. _

"_He gave you more than just a new eye, Kakashi…he gave you a new life."_

He could never forget the look his sensei had as he said this. He would always remember his words, words he hadn't realized he'd ignored until he met Naruto. He was always so upbeat…_alive_. He never gave into despair or hopelessness, not even when all of Konoha was rubble beneath them and his best friend the cause of it. He should've realized that he needed to stop living life as if it was Obito's, as if he was living only for the deaths he had caused, and started living instead for himself and for those that _were_ still living.

It was sort of ironic how the student he had most ignored had ended up teaching him more than he could have ever taught.

But despite his student's infallibly sunny disposition, he'd also known him long enough to realize that sometimes…Naruto wasn't as sunny as he seemed. Every shinobi had to pull out a mask sometimes; Naruto's just so happened to be a little different than others. He knew for a fact that his mask had been firmly in place long before he'd even become part of team 7, and that Naruto—even now when he was this young—would be used to pulling it up over all his pain and his fears…but just because he'd gotten used to it, and just because he'd survived it so far, doesn't mean that he should be given any more reasons to pull that mask on.

…He remembered his childhood being just as full of such reasons. He remembered _never_ taking that mask off…and no one had tried to either, until he'd met Obito and sensei and Rin. Although, little good that had done; once Obito had destroyed that mask he'd just found a different one.

He didn't want history to repeat itself here. He wanted Naruto to be _happy. _He wanted him to go on forever with that smile of his, and though he knew he could never destroy his mask…he at least hoped that he could stop Naruto from using it as often as he did in the future.

He looked down at the subject of his contemplation, his most fervent reason for being here…the boy who was staring up at him with open amazement and admiration. He thought briefly how odd it was that such a look would be directed at the man who had just nearly killed an old lady right in front of him and with a broom no less. He supposed it said something about the kids' desperate need for a role model…

He ignored it for now, and focused on getting them up the many stairs to his apartment, holding his small hand in his as he tugged him along. But he was struggling to keep up with the elder teen's long legs, and eventually Kakashi had to switch his grip to under his arms and swing him up onto his hip though not without a little trepidation, having never picked up a kid before where it wasn't to escape some bloodthirsty ninja after them. Naruto was startled by the sudden shift, let out a brief cry as it jostled some of the not yet healed injuries from before, and grabbed tight onto the shoulders of his protector. They made quick work of the long never ending (_evil_) staircase; though Kakashi was more careful of the remaining injuries Naruto had sustained and was as gentle as possible.

Though his 'gentle' wasn't doing much for the poor kid, considering they took the stairs much too fast for Naruto to even comprehend that the ceiling wasn't the floor…which really wasn't good on his stomach.

Thankfully it didn't last long, and soon they were in the small apartment and Naruto found himself being plopped down onto the small bed in the corner next to the window. When he looked up from the dark bed cover—after smoothing dirty fingers over it in amazement at the silky awesomeness of it—it was to find his idol rushing back into the room with a small tin box; a bright red medic symbol on its' lid. He knew what that was…for as long as he could remember he'd seen that symbol at least two or three times a year. He supposed that it was his version of the snuggly teddy-bear or cloth doll that the other kids all seemed to have had since they were babies. That symbol was his safety blanket, his oldest memory, the only thing that ever told him that things would get better.

Although, he really wasn't that hurt…he only ever needed stuff like that when he literally couldn't stand up anymore from the pain. It wasn't that often he sustained injuries bad enough that they weren't quickly healed.

Kakashi knew this of course; the whole healing thing. He'd seen it himself a million times but…seeing Naruto there, all curled up on the edge of his bed bruised and thin, made him need to do something to help him, heal him,_ anything. _He couldn't just sit around and wait for things like that to fix themselves, so he brought out the medic box Rin had given him so long ago—though the supplies had obviously been changed and added to over the years—and squatted down beside his bed in front of his young ward.

He started at his forehead, dabbing away at the dried blood there until he could only see smooth skin beneath it, and continued on down his arms looking for any superficial wounds under the caked on blood. He found none until he reached his knee, where a deep gash was surrounded by discolored bruising. He wiped it down, not surprised when Naruto didn't make a sound despite the fact that it must be painful, and turned around briefly to grab the little shurikan printed Band-Aids he'd found at the bottom of the medic kit. When he turned back, he was greeted with the sight of Naruto's skin stitching itself back together, the bruising fading with the small line left over from the gash that had once been on his knee. He stared a little wide eyed at it, never having seen it heal that fast before, and he supposed his expression must have been funny because he heard a little snort come from Naruto's mouth.

He looked up at Naruto briefly but then turned back down to give a mock glare at the spotless knee.

He put the Band-Aid on it anyways.

…in fact, he put two on there, just for good measure.

When Naruto raised a little eyebrow at him, he only smiled and replied that "They were too cute to be wasted sitting in that box, weren't they?"

He didn't add that he hoped he would never have to buy more for it now that they were out.

Naruto scrunched up his nose a little, "Cute?"

He nodded, then cocked his head a little, "Just like that sleeping cap you always used to wear—Ah…no, wait I shouldn't have said that…"

_What is wrong with me today?_ He really needed to work on reeling in what he was about to say; he seemed to be having a lot of trouble keeping his thoughts _inside _his head lately…and most of those thoughts were definitely not safe for little children! Especially once he remembered where the rest of his icha icha stash was in this time period…

"Eh? Sleeping cap…? Ano, Kakashi-sensei but I don't have one…"

Oh, he didn't have that yet? That's a shame; that thing really had been adorable (and really what was he doing using words like that!) though he still honestly had no idea whatanimal that thing had been…_wait_…

Had he just…? He hadn't imagined it had he?

"Kakashi…_sensei_?"

Naruto looked a little bit sheepish as he was called out on that. He rubbed the back of his head and gave a grin. "Well…you saved me didn't you? And…I know you are really really really strong, and so I…I just…"

His mask cracked a little, and for a moment he saw all the insecurities and fears hidden beneath it in those blue eyes. "…I just really wanted you to be my sensei…"

Kakashi's eye widened. All those times when he'd brushed Naruto off to another teacher, all those times when he had ignored him to focus his attention on Sasuke…this was his chance to change all of it.

"So…will you? Will you be my sensei...?"

He could finally get rid of the memory of Naruto's disappointed face each time he'd failed to be his teacher, each time he'd pushed him to a different person…like an unwanted chore he kept passing to other people. He could finally ease some of that guilt he felt, and hopefully do things the _right _way this time; he needed to be the teacher he'd never been, he needed to be like Minato-sensei…

This was his chance so…why couldn't he just say _yes_?

Maybe it was the young part of his mind rebelling against this all, rebelling against the thought of being like Naruto's _dad_, or maybe it was just old fears coming back up with all these fresh new memories; all the similarities between Naruto and Obito that had kept him away from taking him in all those years ago…but he just couldn't say—

"Yes…"

…uh…

"Of course he'll be your sensei, brat!"

…what? Wait…had he just said that?

He didn't get long to think on this odd turn of events before Naruto seemed to catch on to his words. With a loud cry of excitement he suddenly found himself being bowled over by an overly exuberant Naruto. "Yes! I don't know why you're speaking in third person Kakashi-sensei, but _thank you thank you thank you!_"

As he patted Naruto's head distractedly, he could only think of one explanation for the incident…Kyuubi. Oh, Kami what did that mean for him? Could he actually control him? What if…what if he took over completely? Why hadn't he already, he could've been halfway through destroying Konoha by now!

_Kyuubi._

_**Yes, pathetic worm slave?**_

Worm slave? Wha—no, no don't get distracted…

_What the hell did you just do?_

_**What? I had to make sure you said yes!**_

_So it was you…_

_**Of course it was, who else in your head? You really think that creepy shadow of goggles kid could've done it?**_

_Stay the hell away from my motor functions!_

_**Hmmm, let me think about tha—no! Do you really think I'll take orders from a hairless worm baby like you? I'M in control here. You made a deal with ME to go back and fix things, so that Naruto—and therefore me as well—could live! I think that gives me a say in how things go here, since I sure as hell will not watch you screw everything up a second time!**_

_I wasn't going to say no! I was just…thinking that's all…_

_**Yeah sure, scar face, 'just thinking' about how you didn't want all that responsibility. You and your ridiculous aversion to commitment…Though I could tell that it came more from that annoying newly merged 'teen dream' version of you, so I'll give you that at least.**_

_Yes, whatever is left of Past-kun does seem to be getting in the way a lot._

_**Exactly why you need me here. If you're not careful you could lose yourself entirely, you know. I'm the only thing that's keeping you here, so be grateful Kakashi-Kun!**_

_Ugh…don't call me that…_

Only laughter met that, and he knew that the Kyuubi definitely would NOT be listening to him.

_So…so you can control me then? _

_**Well…sort of. Didn't you hear me last time? This whole thing is much more complicated than that…**_

_Then __**explain **__it to me damnitt! _

_**And why should I exactly…? You agreed to any and all consequences of making a deal with me when you signed the contract.**_

_I didn't sign any contract!_

_**Oh, don't worry, I knew you would've anyways so I just saved us both the time you would've wasted agonizing over it and forged your signature. **_He gave a toothy grin. _**Much simpler that way, ne?**_

He felt a little dizzy with everything he was learning today, and nearly wanted to throw up a little as the Kyuubi's laughter echoed in his mind…but the still exuberantly chatting Naruto in front of him reminded him that he needed to keep his mask tightly on until later. He felt a horrible sense of foreboding in the pit of his stomach, and real fear ripple through him as he thought on how easily the Kyuubi had taken ahold of his actions…and when he thought back to the incident with the old woman, he couldn't help wondering if the Kyuubi had been involved there too.

"—it's gonna be so awesome! Everyone will see that I'm your student, and then no one will doubt that I'll become Hokage! With sensei teaching me, I'll become an even stronger shinobi and be the best most powerful awesome Hokage EVER! Believe it!"

Kakashi sweat dropped at the oddly 'Gai esque' posing Naruto had pulled; stars in his eyes fist pumped and a gleaming smile on his face. _Ah, I'd forgotten about that stupid saying…_

"Eh, Naruto-kun…I already believe you'll be Hokage one day…so maybe you could stop saying that? Please?"

And then just like that, Naruto was shocked into silence and his pose fell to pieces. He should've taken a picture…Gai would've been so proud.

"You…you believe me? You think I'll…I'll be Hokage one day?"

"Hmmm, of course. I've been a shinobi for a long time; I can tell you'll be a great Hokage one day."

…Ok, that wasn't technically a lie. He had been a shinobi for a longtime, and he'd always seen the potential in all three of his students…it was just that he'd only focused on _one _of them. More specifically; he'd only focused on Sasuke…for more than the bullshit reason of '_he needed it most' _that he'd told himself too...

…oh crap, the kid was tearing up, what—what had he done? Had he said something? What should he—?

Little skinny arms wrapped around his masked neck and a snotty nose could be felt pressed against the cloth. He had a sudden sense of déjà vu for a moment…

_Kakashi hid his face further into his sensei's shoulder, and he wanted to say that he had never felt so weak._

"Th-Thank you…no one's…no one's ever…" _Believed in me. _He wanted to say, but couldn't quite get it out.

Kakashi pressed his hand to his back in an awkward half return hug, and swallowed a little heavily.

"But…but I don't get it. Why? Why…"

"_Sensei…why are you still here?"_

"…_Because you need me here."_

"…Why don't you hate me? Why don't you get angry like everyone else does?"

"…_Why?" A hand clenched on his sensei's familiar white jacket, "Why don't you…get _angry_? Punch me, hate me, tell me it's my fault. Tell me I should've gotten there sooner! I was so stupid…so stupid I didn't even see it until it was too late…"_

"…" Kakashi didn't say anything. He didn't know what he _could _say. What could he possibly do to fix this?

"I mean…It must be my fault right? I must…I must keep doing something wrong for them to hate me so much…I'm sure you'll notice it soon too…and then you won't want to be my sensei anymore."

"_It wasn't your fault Kakashi."_

"…It's not your fault Naruto."

"Wh—what?"

"No, the others…they're wrong. They just don't see you like I do…they see something that scares them, something to blame all their problems on. They're weak and pathetic and they…they just don't _understand_."

Naruto sniffled into his neck, and burrowed deeper as his shoulder started shaking again. He didn't understand how this man could say things like that when he'd just met him. He didn't even understand why he had saved him like he did…but he was grateful for it anyway. Besides the Old man, no one had ever intervened on his behalf before…Kakashi was the first; and Naruto wasn't about to start questioning him on saving his life. He was too afraid he'd change his mind.

"But you have to prove them wrong; you have to _make _them understand. Show them that you can become Hokage, become even greater than you are now and…then one day everyone will see you like I do."

Kakashi let a gloved hand drift into the spiky hair and wrapped his other arm around him in the first real hug he'd given anyone in a very long time…he felt like he finally knew how his sensei had felt all those years ago. When Naruto's mask finally completely cracked and fell away against his shoulder, he just held him there in the space beside his bed, and tried to do what his own sensei had done for him so long ago; give him hope.

"It'll be hard…I won't lie. But I'll be here… hopefully to make it a little easier…"

_I don't want everything to turn out like it had before…all my friends' dead, team 7 dead and you…you had become Hokage, true, but…it was at too high a price. I don't want you to lose __**yourself**__ this time…_

It was then—as he was shoving that part of him down that wanted to run screaming away from such a commitment, as he was pushing all those worries about the Kyuubi and just what exactly he had sacrificed for all this—that he realized something. Above all else, above all his worries and resentments and childish fears…Naruto was more important. He would _always _be more important. Team 7; Sakura, Sasuke, hell even Sai…they were all more important. They were what he'd come back here for. It was the fates of his friends that he most wanted to change, and he decided right then that no sacrifice was too much…as long as they were safe, he would sign that stupid demon contract the Kyuubi supposedly had a thousand times over. As long as they were happy.

He would always remember the weeks after Obito's death. Would always remember his sacrifice and the words of his sensei; words he hadn't listened to at the time.

He would always remember that day, just as he was sure Naruto would always remember this day. This right here was the true start of the new life Obito had given him.

A life worth truly living.

…_**See? Didn't I tell you that you'd have signed it anyways? Can you imagine if I waited for your permission on these things? Nothing would ever get done…you'd probably still be stuck in the Void drooling like a brain-dead vegetable!**_

…_Oh, just shut up._

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><p>AN: Okay, so did all my zombie readers like it? Was it surprising or did you already expect this to happen?

Also, I'd love to know if this chapter flowed well or not; I felt kinda like it was a bit all over the place, but I really wanted that cute kakashi/naruto moment in this chapter so I kinda stuffed it in there hoping it would fit. Tell me what you think in a review, because I love them! And btw; Thank you for all the reviews I've gotten so far (Up to 70! Whoo! That's the most ive ever gotten!) and for all of you who have been with me since the beginning of this fic, I Thank All of thee from the bottom of my heart! Especially MidniteCurse4Eternity and Prescripto13 who have reviewed every one of my chapters since the beginning!

All of your support has kept me going, and to keep all of you going too I'll give you a preview of the next chapter:

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><p>"<em>Kakashi…you do know why you're here I assume?"<em>

"_Maa…I suppose it might have something to do with that 'harmless' old lady I nearly choked to death?"_

"_That and the reports of seeing you doing pirouettes and singing in the streets…" The old Hokage stifled a heavy sigh, "I believe a very overdue explanation in order, Kakashi, and it better explain what the is going on. Now, I understand the reasoning behind attacking the Orphanage owner—I've never liked that horrible woman either—but you've never been so blatantly __**stupid**__ as to do it in public, in a crowd where all the witnesses would openly testify that they didn't even see Naruto in the vicinity! I need a good explanation now, or my hand might just be forced in this matter Kakashi…"_

"_Yes, Hokage-sama." Kakashi kept his face carefully blank, having prepared for this beforehand, "What happened was…well, it seems that I've been possessed by a spirit of mischief." _

_The Hokage's eye twitched in irritation as the ANBU captain in front of him sighed and nodded woefully. "It truly is an unfortunate turn of events, I know…_

"_Kakashi…" A gnarled hand came up to rub his brow. Was this seriously the same solemn boy he'd come to know as his youngest most talented ANBU? "This is not a __**joke**__! Do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused?"_

_Kakashi nodded again, "You're right Hokage-sama, I'm quite sorry for all this trouble; ah! There must be so much paper work…I do not envy you."_

"_Wha—yes, there is, but that isn't—"_

"_But I assure you, I am telling you the truth Hokage-sama…I just can't tell you all of it."_

"…"

"…"

"…_so, you're going with 'a spirit of mischief made me do it?' that's your final answer?" Kakashi nodded, and the Hokage gave him a seeking look into his eye. "…You realize I'll have to send you in for a psych evaluation now right?"_

_Kakashi sweat dropped, "Yes, Hokage-sama…"_

* * *

><p>And that's it! :)<p>

All constructive criticism is appreciated!


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